the legend

     Long ago in the humble Purple Valley, there was a shy but sincere man called Eph. And a lovable Eph he was. With a big top hat, shining brass balls, and an itch to make the world a better place. So he built a school called Williams, where many boys, and eventually girls, could frolic in the fields of lollipops and read books and coordinate massive financial mergers. It was a lovely time for everyone, but for one thing. Oh the taps always flowed (this was before the dreaded party policy and the evil WPD threw a shadow over the land), and the football team always won, but there was something missing.

     "Ah," said one lad with flaming red hair, "it be music we be lackin'!" Malcolm was his name, and he could read the mysterious black dots and lines which made clear the enigma of sound. He gathered about him his most trusted buds, chums, and ne'er-do-wells. They practiced and hummed in their sleep for months. The doo's and bah's bounced in their skulls for what seemed an eternity. Finally, with their voices honed to perfection, and toting large shots of Greavis (sic) beverage, they gathered in Brooks-Rogers to entertain. What they lacked in tonality they compensated for in joviality! The people laughed and cried and gushed in their seats and gave thunderous applause at the end which they wished would never come. And it was good, baby. The merry band, having taken the name "Springstreeters" from the largest, and indeed only, street in town, ventured forth out of the protected Purple Valley. They won the hearts of all of New England, and of several southern sororities as well.

     They graduated, of course, these first brave few. But they inspired, took more into their ranks. From year to year the pitch fork is handed down (nickel side up!) to another who could read the music, and the legend continues. Always to sing, stumble about, and find cold beers and warm beds wherever they go. Always with the sacred chant of "Jell-O" to stir their undefeatable spirits. Forth, O 'Streeters! And let none wear neither frown nor frock whilst we draw breath!