Realm: We're on Quack!
Subrealm: They Say Those Ducklings Are Bad Mother.... Shut Yo' Beak!
Question: Tonight is the 68th semi-annual Williams Trivia contest. But due to repeat champions Bomo, Carter House, General Bumble, Alphabet Soup, Phasers on Stun, and Phasers on Stun: The Next Generation, there have been 59 different winning team NAMES. Despite the 34-year span, and even though they represent the varied worlds of film, cartoons, literature, television, politics, toys, music, and college life, 58 of the 59 names had one thing in common. They could all be spoken aloud over the radio. Please name the only Williams Trivia champions who can't even say their own team name.
Answer: Make Way For Ducklings, Motherfucker.(NOTE TO RADIO PEOPLE: Do NOT read the last word aloud.... DUH!)
Song: "I Bet You They Won't Play This Song on the Radio" by Eric Idle (accept Monty Python)
Realm: Dead Presidents in the One Eight Four Five
Subrealm: It's Mourning in America
Question: What mourner was forcibly removed from President Andrew Jackson's funeral in 1845, and why?
Answer: His pet parrot was taken out, for swearing.
Song: "Euro-Trash Girl" by Cracker
Subrealm: Trivial Stuff
Question: What do the following have in common: New York, Japan, Milan, my love, your party, my hat, my shirt, my car, my cat, and THIS song?
Answer: They're all things that Right Said Fred is too sexy for.
Song: "Get Dancin'" by Disco Tex & His Sex-O-Lettes
Realm: Hold It, HOLD IT!
Question: Mr. Kenneth Gorelick set a world record by holding something for 45 minutes. What was it?
Answer: A single musical note. (P.S. He's Kenny G.)
Song: "Ooh Aah Just a Little Bit" by Gina G.
Realm: "SNL.... Death.... SNL.... Death...."
Subrealm: Sometimes It's Hard To Decide Which Is Less Funny
Question: For this next question, we're going to give you a choice. Keeping in mind that the next song is 3 minutes long, you can either name all ninety Not-Ready-For-Prime-Time-Players who are still alive, or all five who are dead. Go.
Answer: Dead: John Belushi; Gilda Radner; Chris Farley; Phil Hartman; Danitra Vance. (Alive: Everybody else.)
Song: "Stacked Actors" by the Foo Fighters
Realm: All-Time Sports Legends
Subrealm: Will Not Be in This Question
Question: In his very first game in 1997, Florida Marlins righthander Antonio Alfonseca set the all-time record for major league pitchers, with six. What is Alfonseca's record?
Answer: Fingers on his throwing hand.
Song: "No Matter What" by Badfinger
Realm: Surrender, Trivia Players!
Subrealm: Lions and Tigers and Bids, Oh My!
Question: Hollywood memorabilia is big auctioneering business, with classic items >from the most beloved movies or stars fetching the most money. For example, at Christie's in 1988, a pair of Judy Garland's ruby-red slippers from "The Wizard of Oz" sold for $165,000. What other collector's item from the same movie sold for a comparatively paltry $3,680?
Answer: The stuffed body of Toto.
Song: "Stay" by Jackson Browne
Realm: The Siiiimmpsonnnnsss....
Subrealm: After extensive research, we've discovered that Springfield is located in the state of [INTERRUPT WITH QUESTION]
Question: Today, May 13th, is Trivia Day here in Williamstown. But although it's the holiest holiday of the week, it's not the only one. What was this past Wednesday, May 10th, in Springfield?
Answer: Whacking Day.
Song: "Hit Me with Your Rhythm Stick" by Ian Dury (& the Blockheads)
Realm: Great Actresses
Subrealm: From the Neck DownQ. In 1998, Nicole Kidman appeared on Broadway in "The Blue Room," including one scene in which she appeared naked. In reviewing the hubbub, Entertainment Weekly also included a special color-coded chart. What was this chart for?A. It was the theater's seating plan, color-coded to show which seats offered the best view of certain parts of Kidman's body. (Lucky orchestra pit!)
Song: "Caught by the Fuzz" by Supergrass
Realm: All-Time Legends of the Silver Screen
Subrealm: Will Not Be in This Question
Question: Katherine Hepburn has the most Oscars. John Wayne had the most starring roles. Harrison Ford's movies have made the most money. But the greatest personal accomplishment in cinematic history belongs to the late, great Emil Sitka. What did Emil do that NO other actor ever managed to achieve?
Answer: He's the only actor to appear with all six Stooges.
Song: "Tres Delinquents" by Delinquent Habits
Realm: Daddy Left Me a Name
Subrealm: Oh Yes, and Also a Colossal Trust Fund
Question: Brookstone commissioned a 1999 study on the earning power of various fathers on 50 years of sitcoms. According to the results, which TV dad makes the most money per year, and which one earns the least?
Answer: Most $$$-- Jed Clampett, who pulls in about $1.75 million a year (in 1999 dollars) on investments alone;Least $$$-- Al Bundy (estimated at $15,748)
Song: "I (Who Have Nothing)" by Tom Jones
Realm: That Zany, Zany Roman Catholic Church
Subrealm: Your Church Basket Dollar at Work
Question: The Vatican has commissioned an official Latin translation of a religious-themed text. The result is entitled "Quomodo Invidiosulus Nomine Grinchus Christi Natalem Abrogaverit." What's the English title?
Answer: "How the Nasty Individual Named Grinch the Birth of Christ Stole." (accept the regular title, though.)
Song: Theme from "The Green Slime"
Realm: William Shatner Trivia
Subrealm: It Could Be Worse.... It Could Be the Song, Too
Question: William Shatner, another actor who has been unjustly ignored by the Academy, starred in a movie called "Incubus." Other than the Great One's emoting skills, what unique feature can this movie boast?
Answer: It was filmed with the actors speaking Esperanto.
Song: "Desperado" by the Eagles
Because no one demanded it, they're back! The scourge of Trivia for over a decade! (Not counting the 15 or 16 contests that didn't do them!) HORRIBLE SONG QUARTETS are back! Why, God, why?
Realm: We Had It All, Just Like Bogie and Bacall
Subrealm: Wait... Bacall Wasn't In This OneQ. In the final scene of "Casablanca," there is a plane and workers in the background. What is unusual about them?A. The plane is a miniature and the workers are midgets (the scene was shot in a small sound stage).
Song: "Stand Tall" by Burton Cummings (This piece of crap was a Top 10 hit.)
Realm: Calls you get during dinner
Subrealm: Yes, I'm VERY interested
Question: After the breakup of AT&T, long distance companies used thinly masked ploys to get people to unknowingly switch over to their service. The FCC started to crack down on the practice, called "slamming." This brings us to a Texas company called Home Owners Long Distance. Although company managers insisted they'd received explicit approval from prospective customers before signing them up, the FTC didn't agree. What question did the operators for Home Owners Long Distance ask people who were later surprised to find they'd been switched to a new company?
Answer: After a brief conversation, the callers would ask: "Can I put you on hold?" (Home Owners Long Distance = H.O.L.D.)
Song: "Once You Understand" by Think(This Top 40 monstrosity actually came BACK to the charts a second time.... or was it puked back up?)
You're halfway home from Hell. The Horrible Song Quartet is 50% complete!
Realm: All-Time Great Musicians
Subrealm: Will Not Be in This Question
Question: Eddie Layton has been playing the organ at Yankee Stadium for a third of a century. But he's also performed concerts, written music, and released CDs. What is Eddie Layton's most famous musical composition?
Answer: "DUM dum dum dum, DUM dum dum dum.... (etc.).... dum dum dum DUM dum DUMMM..... CHARGE!"
Song: "Mrs. Robinson" by Frank Sinatra
Realm: Football Trivia
Subrealm: This Question May Not Be Reproduced Without Express Written Approval from Make Way for Ducklings
Question: Every NFL football team has a different design for its team helmet. But the looks of the Dolphins' and the Raiders' helmets stand alone. What specific pictoral element do those two teams' helmet designs include, which no other team's helmet does?
Answer: They're the only two helmets whose designs include pictures OF helmets.
Song: "View from Gay Head" by Alix Dobkin (PHONE PEOPLE: Be EXTRA helpful on this song!)
The first Horrible Song Quartet of the night is over. Bury your dead, and prepare for something much, much less sucky.
Realm: Pilgrim Trivia
Subrealm: Wilt Thou Answer?
Question: Those Pilgrims sure knew how NOT to party. Because it was considered a distraction from quiet religious contemplation, WHAT was banned by Pilgrim elders for almost 20 years? And for a SECOND point, the man singing the following song also provides the voice of what? That's right, baby... this is a THREE-POINT PLAY!
Answer: The Pilgrims banned Christmas. He's the voice of Tony the Tiger (Kellogg's Corn Flakes).
Song: "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" by Thurl Ravenscroft
Realm: Reading is Fun-damental
Subrealm: Emphasis on "Mental"
Question: When the Modern Library announced their list of the Top 100 novels of the century, such authors as Joyce, Steinbeck, Nabokov, Fitzgerald, Huxley, Faulkner and others all made the Top Ten. However, they also conducted a readers' poll, whose results weren't quite as eclectic. In fact, two authors claimed 7 of the top 10 spots, including the 1-2-3 positions. According to the voters, which two literary giants were responsible for 70% of the century's very greatest writing?
Answer: Ayn Rand (4); L. Ron Hubbard (3). (Most titles on the readers' list: Robert Heinlein--7; Charles de Lint--8)
Song: "Cult of Personality" by Living Colour
Realm: The Other 30% of the Century's Great Writing
Subrealm: Through Hellfire and Brimstone....It's Caine! It's CAINE!
Question: Michael Caine is currently busy rewriting his debut thriller novel at the suggestion of his editor. What's the main change he needs to make?
Answer: He accidentally killed the same character twice.
Song: "Slight Return" by the Bluetones
Subrealm: Trivia Stuff
Question: The first one was a Minerva. It was quickly replaced by a Heuer. A few more intermediate switches were made, but for the last two decades, it's always been an Aristo. What is it?
Answer: The stopwatch at the beginning of "60 Minutes."
Song: "60 Minute Man" by the Dominoes
Realm: Extreme French Precautions
Subrealm: Special K
Question: Under 3 vacuum-sealed bell jars, inside a locked safe, in a vault 2 stories belowground level in a secure building outside Paris, is a small platinum cylinder about the size of a film canister, which is known as "Le Grand K." What is it?
Answer: The world's official kilogram (since 1883).
Song: "I Got a Man" by Positive K
Realm: Music Around the Globe
Subrealm: Scandanavian Scum
Question: The first Swedish, Norwegian, and Danish bands to hit #1 on the British charts, while ALSO making the U.S. Top Ten, each have names that begin and end with the same one letter. Name the three acts.
Answer: Abba, a-ha, and Aqua (Waterloo; Take On Me; Barbie Girl)
Song: "How Much I Feel" by Ambrosia
Realm: Mini-Audio Boni
Subrealm: We Cut Everything Down to 4 Minutes, and Pass the Savings on to YOU
Question: We are going to play three short musical excerpts for you. Please tell us their significance to the great institution that is Williams Trivia. (**PLAY CLIPS OF: "Crying in the Chapel" "Black Betty" "Birdhouse in Your Soul")
Answer: These were the songs played, respectively, during each of Trivia's three overtime playoffs.
Song: "Don't Dream It's Over" by Crowded House
Realm: U! S! A! U! S ! A!
Subrealm: Anti-Espionage Gadgets To Make "Q" Proud
Question: During the Cold War, U.S. spies inside Moscow sometimes kept their communications top secret by making use of a common children's toy. What was it?
Answer: Magic Slates, which were silent and left no paper trail.
Song: "How Can I Say" by Erasure
Realm: Old and Cold
Subrealm: Real Cool Cats
Question: In January 2000, 82-yr old Inupiaq Eskimo Stanton Katchatag of Unalakleet, Alaska became the first person in America to be WHAT?
Answer: To be counted in the 2000 census.
Song: "Count Me In" by Gary Lewis & the Playboys
Realm: "I knew the Hamburglar, I worked with the Hamburglar"
Subrealm: "And you're no Hamburglar"
Question: A few years back, Domino's Pizza ran a series of TV ads featuring a strange little creature who tried to make pizzas turn cold and unappetizing. Of course, Domino's pizzas always withstood this evil challenge because hey, it was their ad. What was this bastion of botulism's name?
Answer: The Noid.
Song: "Paranoid" by Black Sabbath
Realm: Visit Beautiful Berlin
Subrealm: Now With Less Concrete Than Ever!
Question: What sports and recreation items, banned for decades in East Berlin, are now on sale again?
Answer: Hang gliders.
Song: "Cast Your Fate to the Wind" by Vince Guaraldi
Realm: Hot Thespian Action
Subrealm: Do I Know You?
Question: Rod Steiger is first, with 2.574. Christopher Lee and Donald Pleasance are bothjust 1/1,000th behind, at 2.575. In 4th place is Robert Mitchum.... then Gene Hackman, Donald Sutherland, Anthony Quinn, Sean Connery, and so on. What are we talking about-- and who ranks 669th?
Answer: The average "number of degrees of separation" between each actor and any other; Kevin Bacon is 669th-best.
Song: "Connected" by the Stereo MCs
Realm: All-Time Great Judging Decisions
Subrealm: Will Not Be Part of This Question
Question: Alexander Parkes' creation of Parkesine was an idea good enough to earn him the 3rd-place bronze medal in the 1862 Great Science Exhibition. What's another term for "Parkesine"?
Song: "Ca Plane Pour Moi" by Plastic Bertrand
Realm: The Lovable Pacific Island That Just Won't Die
Subrealm: No Subrealm Needed
Question: It's unimportant, it's insignificant, and it can't be stopped! It's the kingdom of Tonga! As every schoolchild knows, Tonga is actually a GROUP of islands. We're asking about one of those, Niuatoputapu. It's just a tiny piece of a tiny country, but it holds a big distinction. What world record currently belongs to little Niuatoputapu?
Answer: It's the fastest moving land mass on the entire planet. (As measured by tectonic movement; the island has recently been clocked at about 9.5 inches per year.)
Song: "I Feel the Earth Move" by Carole King
Subrealm: Pittsfield Tourism Stuff
Question: Right outside the Berkshire Museum in beautiful downtown Pittsfield, there's amailbox, a tree, and a staircase. However, those probably aren't the first items you'll notice. What's the most unusual and atypical object outside the museum?
Answer: A stegosaurus.
Song: "Bedrock Twitch" by Rock Roll (accept "The Flintstones")
Realm: A Room with a View
Subrealm: Location, Location, Location!
Question: What establishment, mentioned on news almost every night, is separated into the Main Room, the Blue Room, and the Garage?
Answer: The New York Stock Exchange.
Song: "Crash" by the Primitives
Realm: The Great Bambino
Subrealm: The Sultan of WHAT?
Question: We have a THREE-POINT PLAY about movies AND sports.Some baseball movies are classics. Others.... aren't. In "The Babe Ruth Story," starring the incredibly un-athletic William Bendix, the screenplay takes certain "liberties" with the facts of Babe Ruth's career. In real life, Ruth was suspended from baseball for playing illegal exhibition games, and he died emaciated >from lung cancer. But this was Hollywood. Why is Babe Ruth suspended in "The Babe Ruth Story"? And why does he die? EACH answer is worth one point, making this a THREE-POINT PLAY.
Answer: 1. He's suspended for leaving during a game, to bring an injured puppy dog to the hospital. 2. He dies by bravely taking a risky experimental serum that will help future patients.
Song: "Amnesia" by Ruth Ruth
Realm: Devil's Food
Subrealm: It Tastes Like Hell
Question: What reasonably common food is translated into English as "devil fart"?
Answer: Pumpernickel. (Pumpern = breaking wind; nickel = devil or demon)
Song: "Baby I'm-A Want You" by Bread
Realm: It's Happening at the Same Second You're Watching It
Subrealm: Okay, So You Probably Weren't Watching It
Question: During the November 1999 sweeps, "The Drew Carey Show" performed one episode live. That was the first series to do a live episode since "ER," which launched their '97 season that way. But what was the last prime time TV series to do an entire SEASON of episodes totally live?
Answer: "Roc," in 1992-93.
Song: "I Do the Rock" by Tim Curry
Realm: My fun girls say "More love tonight, baby!"
Question: What do the following words have in common: my, fun, girls, say, more, love, tonight, baby, mercy, turn, bills, and bye?
Answer: When repeated three times, they are all Top 40 hit song titles.
Song: "Knock Three Times" by Dawn
Realm: Special Delivery
Subrealm: I'm Movin' Out
Question: In 1956, the Argentine military took power. To further solidify control, they confiscated certain objects connected with the deposed government. The most symbolic of these items was secretly packed inside a crate marked "Radio Equipment," and shipped out of the country. What was inside?
Answer: The embalmed body of Eva Peron.
Song: "Body Movin' " by the Beastie Boys
Realm: All-Time Great News Reporting
Subrealm: Will Not Be Part of This Question
Question: The June 26, 1989 issue of Newsweek featured what unusual subject on its cover?
Answer: Time Magazine.
Song: "My Own Worst Enemy" by Lit
Realm: Yes, TV is Repetitive
Subrealm: But This is Ridiculous
Question: Who is the only actor ever to have a featured role in two completely different TV series, both of which had the exact same title?
Answer: George Clooney, in "ER," and in "ER." (The first "ER" was a flop 1984-85 sitcom on CBS.)
Song: "Operator" by Jim Croce
Realm: Question 41 is Practically Here
Subrealm: Just About!
Question: What is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order?
Answer: Almost.(Phone people are highly encouraged to say "almost!" during answering)
Song: "Nearly Lost You," by the Screaming Trees
Realm: All-Time Great Sumo Wrestlers
Subrealm: Are Not Part of This Question
Question: During much of 1999, ESPN aired a series of half-hour profiles of their choices for the Top 50 Athletes of the Century. Which of the 50 selections weighed the most?
Song: "Judy and the Dream of Horses" by Belle & Sebastian
We hope that you're enjoying yourselves tonight. We worked hard to make this contest the most entertaining and fun one we could. Well, all that's over now. Presenting Horrible Song Quartet #2.
Realm: Discriminatory Brotherhoods of Marginal Youth
Subrealm: The Cub Scouts
Question: Woe to him whose father has not the handyman nature. Name the three races in which Cub Scouts can determine who has the fastest model thingy of the Pack.
Answer: The Pinewood Derby, the Space Derby, and the Raingutter Regatta.
Song: "Bohemian Rhapsody" by the Young Ones
Realm: Great Moments in Legal History
Subrealm: Brown Shirts and Browner Noses
Question: Right after World War 2, the German director G.W. Pabst made a negative film blasting Hitler, which was well-received by German critics and audiences. Despite this, he was never able to get it distributed in England or the U.S. Why not?
Answer: Lawyers pointed out that if Adolf was still alive and in hiding, he might come out and sue them for libel.
Song: "Too Shy" by Kajagoogoo (This irritating mess hit #5.)Some people like to think that the Horrible Song Quartet is half empty. We prefer to think of it as full. Full of what, we leave to you.
Realm: War! HUHHH! What Is It Good For?
Subrealm: Well, It's Good for One Point in This Contest.
Question: The United States was formally at war with what nation for 130 consecutive years?
Answer: The Seminoles (1840-1970).
Song: "Little Arrows" by Leapy Lee(In 1968, this classic charted higher than "All Along the Watchtower," "Street Fighting Man," or "Nights in White Satin.")
Realm: Medical Opinions
Subrealm: He Gets an Annual Checkup
Question: According to researchers at the University of Oslo, he's probably suffering from a parasitic mite infection, resulting in his unique appearance. Who?
Answer: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
Song: "Insects" by the Kids of Widney High
It's safe to take the thumbtacks out of your ears. The second Horrible Song Quartet is done. But if you thought that Horrible Song Quartet was bad, wait until you hear the next eight or nine of them.
Subrealm: Architecture You May Not Remember
Question: The 612-foot Singer Building was the tallest in the world at the time it was built in 1908. Alas, that dizzying height was soon beaten by several skyscrapers. And yet the Singer Building still holds another construction record. What?
Answer: It's the world's tallest building ever to be demolished.
Song: "Tear the Roof Off the Sucker" by Parliament
Realm: Familiar Phrases
Subrealm: In Literature
Question: What work gave us "sky's the limit", "thanks for nothing", "a wild-goose chase", "mind your own business", "forgive and forget", "to smell a rat", "turning over a new leaf", "the haves and have-nots", "born with a silver spoon in his mouth", "the pot calling the kettle black" and "you've seen nothing yet."Answer: Don Quixote, by Miguel de Cervantes (Additional note: "quixotic" and "tilting at windmills" came afterward.)
Song: "Windmills of Your Mind" by Dusty Springfield
Realm: He Got to Keep the E
Subrealm: She Got the MC Squared
Question: In his divorce hearing, Albert Einstein agreed to give a certain amount of money to his wife, in its entirety. What was it?
Answer: The money that came with the Nobel Prize, if he ever won. (He did, and paid up.)
Song: "Thinking Man's Girl" by the Swingin' Neckbreakers
Realm: Radio History
Subrealm: Over the Air Lines
Question: When radio first started, everything was live, and all announcing, music, or other sounds had to be produced on site locally. This was partly due to technological limitations, and largely because of massive restrictions from the powerful Musicians Union. What was the first pre-recorded thing ever played on network radio?
Answer: The broadcaster announcing the crash of the Hindenberg (11-11-37).
Song: "Night Flight" by Led Zeppelin
Realm: All-Time Great Fathers
Subrealm: Will Not Be Part of This Question
Question: Woody Allen has played two starring movie roles that begin with the letter "Z." Name them.
Answer: Zelig, and Z the ant (from "Antz").
Song: "Kinko the Clown" by Ogden Edsel
Question: What's the slogan for Vick's Nyquil?
Answer: "The Nighttime Sniffling Sneezing Coughing Aching Stuffy Head Fever So You Can Rest Medicine."
Song: "Let Me Clear My Throat" by DJ Kool
Realm: Royal Trivia
Subrealm: She's Flush.... Poker!
Question: Why was Prince William of England born on June 21, 1982?
Answer: Labor was induced so that the birth would fit into Prince Charles' schedule.
Song: "Push It" by Garbage
Realm: Things You Do in the Bathroom
Subrealm: Well.... Other ThingsQ. What common toiletry product works by causing a more severe case of the very thing it is used to combat?A. Dandruff shampoo (which usually works by causing serious, instant flaking so that the rinse washes away the flakes).
Song: "Put Your Head on My Shoulder" by Paul Anka
Realm: Show Me the Money!
Subrealm: Large Bills with Pictures of Dead Confucius
Question: When China started printing the first paper money in the 12th century, the bills had serial numbers to show they were government issue currency. What else was printed on the bills to help insure the integrity of the money supply?
Answer: "Counterfeiters will be decapitated."
Song: "Baby Get Your Head Screwed On" by Double Feature
Realm: Famous Last Words
Subrealm: Excuse Me for Not Answering
Question: What are the last words John F. Kennedy heard in his life?
Answer: "You can't say Dallas doesn't love you, Mr. President." (BANG) (PHONE PEOPLE: precise wording not required.... accept the general idea)
Song: "Jack, You're Dead" by Louis Jordan
Realm: Poetry Time
Subrealm: Peas Answer This
Question: Words That Almost Rhyme With "Peas." What is their significance?
Answer: It's the subject of the first-ever Top Ten List on "The David Letterman Show" (9/18/85).
Song: "Kiss on My List" by Hall & Oates
Realm: Capitalists On Ice
Subrealm: Other Than Walt DisneyQ. The New Orleans Brass of the East Coast Hockey League has an auto dealership as one of their sponsors. What do they sponsor?
Answer: The fights.
Song: "Avalanche!" by the Zambonis
Realm: Whoopi Goldberg Won the Oscar for This
Subrealm: And Other Nightmares That Keep You Awake
Question: In the movie "Ghost," Whoopi Goldberg is freaked out by Patrick Swayze's spirit, and refuses to get involved. How does Swayze convince Goldberg to help?
Answer: He repeatedly sings "I'm Henry the VIII, I Am" until she caves in.
Song: "Out of My Head" by Fastball
Realm: The Name Game
Subrealm: "Chuck Chuck Bo Buck"
Question: Name the last three Oscar-winning Best Pictures whose titles are simply the name of the main character. We have a few rules here. We need full and complete titles like "Hamlet" or "Rocky." So "Shakespeare in Love" or "Kramer vs. Kramer" don't count. And we want actual NAMES like "Hamlet" or "Rocky." So "The English Patient" or "The Last Emperor" don't count. Got that? Name the last three.
Answer: Forrest Gump, Dances With Wolves, Amadeus.
Song: "Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf" by the Three Little Pigs
Realm: Famous Bets
Subrealm: Lord, I Was Born a Gamblin' Man
Question: What was the best bet that country legend Waylon Jennings ever lost?
Answer: He flipped a coin with Ritchie Valens to see who would get the 4th and last empty seat in Buddy Holly's plane.
Song: "You Can't Sit Down" by the Dovells
Realm: Classic Television Moments
Subrealm: Why We Need 3-D TV
Question: Two of the most famous TV births were Lucy having Little Ricky, and Mike and Gloria Stivic having Joey. What unusual thing did Ricky Ricardo and Archie Bunker have in common, when they visited the respective hospitals?
Answer: They were both in blackface.
Song: "Your Woman" by White Town
Realm: Bizarre Movie Deaths
Subrealm: Maybe O.J. Can Find the Real Killer
Question: At the end of "The Naked Gun," Vincent Ludwig (aka Ricardo Montalban) is shot in the neck with a dart, which makes him fall off the upper deck of a baseball stadium, crashing to the concrete below. But he doesn't die.... at first. Not untilhe is run over by a bus, flattened by a steamroller, and stomped on by a full marching band playing "Louie Louie." Still, Ludwig was a very evil man. Why, then, does his well-deserved death make police sergeant Ed cry?
Answer: His father went the same way.
Song: "Do the Lurch" by Ted Cassidy
Realm: All-Time Great Chefs
Subrealm: Are Not Part of This Question
Question: Historically, the state of Kentucky has had the highest incidence of mad cow disease in the United States. However, you can still chow down on beef safely while there, because none of the documented cases are cattle related. How did Kentucky victims become infected with mad cow disease?
Answer: From eating squirrel brains.
Song: "Got My Own Thing Now" by Squirrel Nut Zippers
Realm: Sex Scenes in Movies
Subrealm: Really Creepy and Disturbing Sex Scenes
Question: In "Back to the Future," who does Marty McFly's mom initially think he is, and why?
Answer: Calvin Klein; it's printed on his underwear.
Song: "Speedo" by the Cadillacs
Realm: All-Time Great Sports Legends
Subrealm: Are Not Part of This Question
Question: The Sporting News selected their list of the 20th century's 100 Most Powerful Sports Figures. Who was #100?
Answer: The San Diego Chicken (AKA The Famous Chicken).
Song: "Shake a Tail Feather" by the Five Du-Tones
Question: What is the only product on the U.S. market whose brand name contains the back-to-back letters "XZ"?
Song: "C.R.E.A.M." by the Wu-Tang Clan
Realm: Prison Football Movies
Subrealm: Sticking With a Game Plan
Question: What is the only football play to be called twice in a row by the Mean Machine in the movie "The Longest Yard"?
Answer: Two consecutive passes directly into the guard (Podesky)'s crotch.
Song: "Great Balls of Fire" by Jerry Lee Lewis
#69R: Things That Never Happened to US in High SchoolSR: Like This One Time at Band Camp, I Took My Flute...
Question: In the movie "American Pie", what section of the library is the secret manual called "The Sex Bible" hidden in?
Answer: Fluid Dynamics.
Song: "Backwater" by the Meat Puppets
Realm: Where Were You in '82?
Subrealm: And Were You Late in '98?
Question: What do the dates May 30, 1982 and September 20, 1998 signify?
Answer: They're the first and last days of Cal Ripken's consecutive games streak.
Song: "The Streak" by Ray Stevens
Realm: Vatican History, Part One
Subrealm: Can I Borrow the Popemobile?
Question: Of over 200 Popes, John XI is the only Pope in history to come from a particular religious background. What?
Answer: His Dad was Pope, too! (Sergius III) (They've changed the rules a little since then.)
Song: "Need You Around" by the Smoking Popes
Realm: Vatican History, Part Two
Subrealm: Light a Wax Candle
Question: Many people have problems accepting the immaculate Virgin birth at the heart of Catholicism. But in the 15th century, the Church determined how the Virgin Mary had conceived her son. What was the Vatican's official medical opinion on the matter?
Answer: That she had conceived Jesus through her ear. (They then further decreed that, therefore, women must cover their ears in public.)
Song: "Mama Told Me Not to Come" by Three Dog Night
Realm: This Question is Cool for Cats
Subrealm: Coooooool for Cats
Question: We first saw the meowing kitten logo of MTM Productions at the end of "The Mary Tyler Moore Show," "Rhoda," "Lou Grant," and other 1970s series. But they started to play around with it by the '80s. What slight changes were made to the MTM kitten at the end of "Hill Street Blues," "St. Elsewhere," and "Newhart"?
Answer: "Hill Street Blues"-- kitten is wearing police cap; "St. Elsewhere"-- kitten is wearing doctor's medical greens; "Newhart"-- kitten has the voice of Bob Newhart saying, "Meow."
Song: "P Control" by (Accept Prince, The Artist, The Artist Formerly Known As Prince, or any reasonable substitute.)
Realm: Manifest Destiny
Subrealm: Drop the Chalupa
Question: Who is "just the man we need to bring about victory, fulfill our Manifest Destiny, and annex the land the Mexicans command?"
Answer: James K. Polk (according to They Might Be Giants' song of the same title).
Song: "Polk Salad Annie" by Tony Joe White
They say good things come in threes. But truly repellant things come in fours. And so, we begin tonight's third Horrible Song Quartet.
Realm: Singing One's Praises
Subrealm: Well.... Singing, Anyway
Question: According to the politically-motivated attack song, "who rules us with an iron rod/ Who moves at Satan's beck and nod/ Who heeds not man, who heeds not God?"
Answer: Martin van Buren, of course.
Song: "The Ask Not Waltz" by JFK
Realm: Fred Ott
Subrealm: Fred Ott Has a Subrealm??
Question: Fred Astaire was known for dancing. John Wayne was known for fighting. Marilyn Monroe was known for jiggling. But the first-ever movie star was Fred Ott. What was Fred known for doing?
Answer: Sneezing. (He starred in the 10-second "The Sneeze," the first movie copyrighted by the Library of Congress.)
Song: "Bless You" by Tony Orlando
We realized we made a terrible, terrible mistake with this Horrible Song Quartet. The music is just too appalling. We simply cannot let this nightmare continue as is. And so, we are stopping this Horrible Song Quartet as of now.
That said, on with the Horrible Song QUINtet.
Realm: Long-Term Planning
Subrealm: REAL Long-Term
Question: In 1919, the Indian Packing Company made a $500 investment. What is the current status of that investment?
Answer: They paid to have their name used by the Green Bay Packers.
Song: "Got to Get You Into My Life" by Little Joe (Pesci)
Realm: #1 in His Field
Subrealm: As in Left Field, Right Field, or the Infield
Question: If you took every person who ever played major league baseball since 1876, and listed them alphabetically by name, which player would be first? And, if you did the exact same thing for every man ever to play basketball in the NBA, who would be alphabetically first? We're giving you one point for each player's name, making this a THREE-POINT PLAY.
Answer: Baseball-- Henry/Hank Aaron; Basketball-- Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
Song: "Over the Wall" by Debbie Gibson
Realm: Political Potluck
Subrealm: Read My Lips
Question: Allegations of drug use plague George W. Bush Jr.'s campaign. Al Gore is tainted by illegal fundraising. However, these don't seem so bad, when you consider the worst accusation against 1856 Republican candidate John Fremont. What was it?
Answer: That he was a cannibal.
Song: "Goodbye Sam" by Shad O'Shea
That concludes the night's first-- and thank God, last-- Horrible Song Quintet. Do we hear "Horrible Song Octet," anybody?
Realm: The Thrill of Victory
Subrealm: Ehhh... Has Faded.
Question: The 1982 championships in Budapest were won in a record 26 seconds. What was the competition?
Answer: Rubik's Cube.
Song: "Turn, Turn, Turn" by the Byrds
Realm: Comic Strip Mayhem
Subrealm: The Quick Red Fox Jumped Over the Lazy Dog
Question: The death of Farley the dog was a major event in Lynn Johnston's "For Better or Worse" comic strip. She did not decide to kill him off lightly, however; she sought advice from colleagues about whether she was doing the right thing. One of them was "Peanuts" creator Charles Schulz-- and he initially was so opposed that he actually THREATENED her not to let Farley die. What was the threat he made?
Answer: If she killed Farley, he'd have Snoopy get hit by a truck that same week, so his strip would get all the attention instead.
Song: "Happy Boy" by the Beat Farmers
Realm: The Strange Mutterings of a Loser
Subrealm: Just Like an Al Gore Speech
Question: In his song "Loser", which as far as we can tell is a coded message to his home planet, Beck embellishes the chorus ("Soy un perdador...") four times, each time with a different interjection. Give us one such remark for a point. For two points, name any three of the four mystical incantations. THIS IS A THREE- POINT PLAY!
Answer: "Double-barrel buckshot"; "Get crazy with the Cheez Wiz"; "I can't believe this"; "Sprechen-Sie Deutsch?"
Song: "Bedazzled" by Peter Cook
Realm: Board Games
Subrealm: Who Killed Mr. Boddy?
Question: Name the two pairs of rooms in the board game "Clue" which are connected by secret passages.
Answer: Kitchen & Study, Conservatory & Lounge.
Song: "Mean Mr. Mustard (etc.)" by the Beatles
Realm: Children's Literature
Subrealm: How to Get A Slimmer, Trimmer You in 5 Seconds
Question: In the book "Flat Stanley," what makes Stanley flat? AND, for a bonus point, what connection does the following musical act have with Williams Trivia? BOTH answers will make this a THREE-POINT PLAY!
Answer: The bulletin board over his bed falls on him.The Jets are the most successful group ever to hail from the island of Tonga.
Song: "Crush on You" by the Jets (just one of their five Top Ten hits.... go Tonga!)
Realm: Another Reason to Hate the French
Subrealm: Which Makes an Even 100 Billion
Question: According to historian Alain Corbin, as recently as the 19th century, most French women died without ever having experienced this. What?
Answer: Taking a bath.
Song: "Trouble" by Shampoo
Realm: Vegetables in the Movies
Subrealm: Not Just the Audience for "Titanic"
Question: Who is the most successful movie producer to have the same name as a vegetable?
Answer: Albert "Cubby" Broccoli.
Song: "Everytime I Eat Vegetables, It Makes Me Think of You" by the Ramones
Realm: Notable Physical Features
Subrealm: You Mean Besides the Four Fingers and the Bright Yellow Flesh?
Question: What two identifying marks, as the police might call them, are on Homer Simpson?
Answer: That weird Stonecutters birthmark, and a "Starland Vocal Band" tattoo.
Song: "The More I See You" by Chris Montez
Realm: All in Color for a Dime
Subrealm: Better Make That 600,000 Dimes
Question: What are the five most valuable comic books?
Answer: Action #1; Detective #27; Superman #1; Marvel Comics #1; Whiz #1(2)
Song: "The Daily Planet" by Love
Realm: Trivia Singalong #2
Subrealm: On Our Backs
Question: Sing the advertising theme for Kleinsleep.
Answer: "Have more fun in bed / Have more fun in bed / Come on in to Kleinsleep / And have more fun in bed!"
Song: "Insomnia" by Faithless
Realm: Fun Film Facts
Subrealm: Take Off, Eh?
Question: The 1998 film "October Sky," about a coal miner's son who escapes poverty through his knowledge of rocket engineering, was based on a novel called "Rocket Boys." Many books end up having their titles changed for the movies, but how did Hollywood come up with this particular film title?
Answer: "October Sky" is a perfect anagram for "Rocket Boys."
Song: "I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do" by ABBA(NOTE: Question #90 was the last one to be asked on-air by Make Room for Ducklings.)
Realm: Movie motorcycles
Subrealm: Beyond the barbed wire
Question: Perhaps one of the most famous motorcycle chases in film history was Steve McQueen's race from a World War II prison camp in "The Great Escape." While weknow McQueen went on to other movies.... whatever happened to the motorcycle?
Answer: It became Fonzie's on "Happy Days."
Song: "Driver's Seat" by Sniff 'N the Tears
Realm: Wacky Terrorist Mishaps
Subrealm: Gosh Oh Golly Jihad
Question: At 5 PM on September 5, 1999, three Palestinian terrorists were killed en route to their targets, when their bombs exploded in their car. What was the cause of the explosions?
Answer: Israel had rolled back its clocks one hour; the terrorists miscalculated the savings time.
Song: "Turn Back the Hands of Time" by Tyrone Davis
Realm: Advertising Trivia
Subrealm: That's T-R-I-V-I-A
Question: From the ads, spell "Aamco."
Answer: "Double-A, (beep beep), M-C-O." (MUST include the beeps.)
Song: "Beep Beep" by the Playmates
Realm: Cartoon Haberdashery
Subrealm: It's What's On Top That Counts
Question: In the comic strip "Foxtrot," Peter Fox is almost always shown wearing the same baseball cap. What is the logo on his cap, and what does it represent?
Answer: It's an "A" for Amherst. (Bill Amend is an Amherst grad, and made doofy dad Roger a graduate of "Willmot College.")
Song: "See You in Hell" by Monster Magnet
Realm: Millennium Trivia
Subrealm: The First One
Question: According to the millennial issue of U.S. News and World Report, name three of the top five cities by population in the year 1000 A.D.
Answer: Cordova (Spain) / Kaifing (China) / Constantinople (Turkey) / Angkor Wat (Cambodia) / Kyoto (Japan)
Song: "Kid Charlemagne" by Steely Dan
Realm: I Want My MTV
Question: What is the first music video to have a sequel?
Answer: ZZ Top's "Gimme All Your Lovin," which spawned the further adventures of "Sharp Dressed Man."
Song: "Cotton Eye Joe" by Rednex
Realm: Oh Baby, Oh Baby!
Subrealm: Size DOES Matter
Question: According to the "Paranoid Pocket Guide", women are more sexually attracted to men who have this. What?
Answer: A long stride.
Song: "Walk Like a Man" by the Four Seasons
Realm: In the 16th Century
Subrealm: They Were Truly Starved for Entertainment
Question: Somewhere around 1500, a poem called "Flen Flyys" was written. Partially in Latin, partially in French and partially in code, it satirized the Carmelite friars of Cambridge, England. But what else is notable about this little-known poem?
Answer: It contains the first known use of the word "fuck." (DON'T SAY THE WORD!)
Song: "Boom Boom Boom, Let's Go Back to My Room" by Paul Lekakis
Realm: Those Crazy West Pointers
Subrealm: Honor, Duty, Service, Weird Nicknames
Question: What do West Point cadets call what everyone else in the world calls: seniors, juniors, sophomores, and freshmen?
Answer: Firsties, Cows, Yuks, and Plebes.
Song: "Oliver's Army" by Elvis Costello
Realm: When You Answer This Question, Bring Your Shoes With You
Subrealm: So You Have Them
Question: Name the four aliases used on the first album by the Jerky Boys.
Answer: Sol Rosenberg; Frank Rizzo; Jack Torse; Karbash the Egyptian Magician.
Song: "Obscene Phone Caller" by Rockwell
Realm: Lots and Lots of TV
Subrealm: Even More Hours Than Regis
Question: What TV producer has provided America with the greatest number of hours of televised programming?
Answer: Mark Goodson-- over 39,000 episodes of game shows, more than 21,000 hours' worth.
Song: "My Favorite Game" by the Cardigans
Realm: Slang Etymology
Subrealm: Can You Cut the Mustard?
Question: William Safire, king of word origins, says the origin of one particular phrase has baffled slang experts. Some think it comes from the area of material used in a fancy dress. Others think it originates from the volume of concrete that a standard cement mixer can hold. Still others believe it's the length of a .50 caliber machine gun belt used by fighter pilots during World War II. It's not sports, though. What is the phrase?
Answer: "The whole nine yards."
Song: "Over Under Sideways Down" by the Yardbirds
Realm: Float Like a Butterfly
Subrealm: Drop Like a Rock
Question: January 29th of this year was not so good to Julius Francis, who was knocked down five times in four minutes by Mike Tyson. However, Francis did get an extra $35,000 by signing a pre-fight endorsement deal with the Daily Mirror newspaper. What did this deal entail?
Answer: The newspaper's logo was printed on the bottom of Julius Francis' boxing shoes, where it was clearly visible several times.
Song: "Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba
Realm: Freedom from Prison -- ehhh...
Subrealm: End of Apartheid -- feh!
Question: Nelson Mandela was quoted in November 1997 as saying, "This is one of the greatest moments of my life." What?
Answer: Meeting the Spice Girls.
Song: "Camel Walk" by Southern Culture on the Skids
Realm: Menaces to Society
Subrealm: But Wearing Snappy Suits!
Question: In "Eat the Rich," P.J. O'Rourke writes about the spread of capitalism into the communist stronghold of China. One passage reads: "Omnipresent amid all the frenzy of Shanghai is that famous portrait, that modern icon. The faintly smiling, bland, yet somehow threatening visage appears in brilliant red hues on placards and posters and is painted huge on the sides of buildings. Some call him a genius. Others blame him for the deaths of millions. There are those who say his military reputation was inflated, yet he conquered the mainland in short order." WHO is he?
Answer: Colonel Sanders.
Song: "Psycho Chicken" by the Fools