Those rascals from "Five Is Right Out" present

THE LITTLE RASCALS HOUR BONUS

"Don't call me Norman...."
"....call me Chubsy-Ubsy.")

"You can fool some of the people some of the time......"
"....but you can't fool MOM!"

"Hello, hello, hello.
Hello, hello, hello.
We hope you like our show......"
".......Hello, hello, hello."

"Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?"
"HEAH ah is!" (in Buckwheatspeak, the original Ebonics)

"Uh-Huh, can you use the word "isthmus" in a sentence?"
"Uh-huhhhhh. Isthmus be my lucky day!"
(Extra credit for including the "uh-huhhhhhh")

Scaredy-cats outnumber raging bulls when Chubby and Joe-- neither of whom wants to box the other-- face off in a prize fight. It falls upon Farina to give Chubby secret instructions, which turn Joe into an angry madman. What does Chubby do to wreak this change?
He musses Joe's hair, turning him psychopathic
Each time Wheezer's puppies hear bells, they escape to chase them. Wheezer's search is jeopardized by a major obstacle-- crossing the street. What trick does Wheezer use to stop traffic, so that he can continue his hunt on the other side of the road?
He throws lightbulbs into the street. The resulting "pop"s make every driver stop to check for flat tires, and Wheezer crosses safely
Chores loom large in the pantheon of Rascal dilemmas. The gang is ready to go on an African hunting expedition, but there's a catch. Spud's younger brother has a chest cold. What unsavory task has their mom forced Spud to do?
He has to stay home and grease Wheezer. (Literally, he spreads heaping handfuls of some sort of thick goo on his bare chest (Very homoerotic, if you're a total sociopath)
Rascals say the darndest things. How did the gang answer these questions from Miss Crabtree? (No credit for answering them correctly

* What did Paul Revere say as he stopped his horse in front of the colonial homes?
"He said, 'Whoa!'"

* What was Abraham Lincoln's mother's name?
"Mrs. Lincoln."
Eventually, Miss Crabtree learns that the joke answers given to the above queries came from Breezy Brisbane. As for Breezy, he gets expelled from school for insolence, prohibited from returning until he "learns that poem." What smart-alecky greeting to the teacher started Breezy's slippery slide into no-goodnik-ness?
"Hiiiii, Crabby!"
That strange Rascal Uh-Huh got his unique name because the main thing he ever said was the word "Uh-Huh." What other Rascal got his name from the only word he usually ever said?
"Remarkable"
Mom wants to know why baby Spanky is banging on the floor with a hammer. Well, why is he?
He's BUG huntin'!
Every kid plays hooky, or wants to. When Mickey the freckle-faced truant officer catches the gang cutting school, he regales them with ominous tales of reform school, complete with balls-and-chains, and breaking rocks with sledgehammers. The kids, fearing incarceration, worriedly ask about the conditions. "What about Sundays?" Mickey explains that prisoners get a special break on Sundays: they get spinach instead of bread and water. Fortunately, there's an equally special treat on Christmas-- what happens to every inmate on December 25th?
He gets a brand new sledgehammer
Spanky surprises a burglar in one episode, but instead of demanding justice, demands a glass of water. Once Spanky finally gets around to asking why this masked man is skulking around his house at night, the burglar offers an unlikely alias/explanation. What?
"I'm SANTY Claus!"
Sadly, Spanky's burglar pal is eventually led off by the cops. In a different short, a policeman ends up shaking his fist, atop a huge pile of wrecked autos. In both cases, Spanky closes the films by saying farewell with a particular line of dialogue-- one popularized by another 1930s movie star? What's the line?
"Come up and see me sometime." (Mae West)
After the gang's camping trip turns into a typical nightmare of ghosts, lightning and mysterious shadows, how does Pete the Pup react to the spooky hijinks?
His eyes bug out and spin around in spirals, via some very weird-looking animation
Golfers everywhere cringe as the gang double as makeshift caddies at the private club. The behavior of the rampaging Rascals, not to mention their pet monkey, so unnerves the poor sap that it takes him 42 shots just to complete one hole. Actually, even that 42nd shot doesn't cut it-- why not?
Unbeknownst to the golfer, a frog has gotten into the hole; his "ribbit"s have been repeatedly ejecting the ball out again
Every kid, as noted earlier, dreams of nothing but hooky. In one diabolical hooky plot, how does Spanky try to make it look as if Alfalfa's suffering from an unbearable toothache?
Spanky inserts a balloon into Alfalfa's mouth and blows it up, swelling his face (Another hot homoerotic scene between two studly Rascals
Spanky, master of hooky, is also the Rascal of a thousand faces. One of the Spankster's finest disguises helps him and Alfalfa confiscate fireworks from Porky and Buckwheat, by posing as an eight-foot-tall constable. They achieve the height by having Alfalfa stand on Spanky's shoulders, but where do they get the fake mustache?
By snipping off Alfalfa's trademark pointy hairlick
An angry Darla storms off the production of "Romeeyo and Jooliet." What makes her so mad?
Alfalfa's been eating onions again (making love scenes intolerable)
Rejecting the soothing caress of womanhood for a life of testosterone, those male chauvinist Rascals form what formidable anti-girl league?
"The He-Man Women Hater's Club.") (Did somebody say "homoeroticism"?)
Every time Alfalfa gets a chance to do some croonin', something always seems to backfire. Name four specific mishaps that spoil his vocal performances.
Croaking frog hidden in his scarf; earlier soap-eating incident fills room with bubbles as he sings; firecrackers erupt in his pants; 4th one missing
Of course, Alfalfa is known as much for his trademark hair as for his beautiful voice. When a chicken plucks his hair off his greasy head, what does he breathlessly gasp that he's just lost?
"My personality!"
Trying to duck a scheduled beating from Butch the bully, Alfalfa sets up an elaborate ruse. He sends word to Butch that he's broken his ankle, but a cynical Butch insists on checking out the "injury" personally. How does Alfalfa make it appear that his once-healthy foot is now shattered and insensate?
By sticking his foot through a hole in the bed, and replacing it with a large fish in his sock. There's something erotic about that, but God help me if I can figure it out
A Rascal deferred shall not shrivel up like a Stymie in the sun. And so it was that in the late 1970s, Norman Lear thought that the time was ripe to give the world a brand-new, updated set of Rascals. Well, you know what a great idea that was. However, before the project flopped, Lear actually did sign one prospective Rascal to a contract. What immortal was cheated of his opportunity to stand alongside Froggy and Farina in Rascal history?
Gary Coleman
Yes, there is a SECRET message hidden somewhere, somehow, within this very Hour Bonus! And it's worth an extra point for those teams who can decode it. Find the mystery message and put it here, please, or nothing extra for your miserable team.
"SECRET MESSAGES ARE O-TAY!"-- obtained by taking the first letter of each question.