The Fake First Page
Contest Main Page
THE ALPHABETICAL SPORTS BONUS
(A-nother B-oneheaded C-oncept)
a) When the fans elected Stan Musial to the 1957 NL All-Star team, his was truly a singular distinction. Please explain.
Every other elected starter was a Cincinnati Red. (Hank Aaron and Willie Mays were put on the starting team by the commissioner despite the vote, and voting was taken away from the fans for more than a decade.)
b) In 1934, the first All-Star game was held. And of the 18 starters, only the Braves' Wally Berger "boasts" this dubious distinction. What? From the "Bo Knows" commercial with the Sonny Bono cameo, list the 15 different roles portrayed by that Renaissance bo.
The other 17 starters would all be all elected to the Hall of Fame
Baseball, football, basketball, hockey ("Le Bo"), golf, tennis, surfing, weightlifting, caddie, jockey, auto racing, cricket, soccer, cycling, and directing the ad itself
a) At the moment, Chick Hafey enjoys a unique status among Hall of Fame inductees, but in two years, what was one shall be two. What is the Chickster's tenuous claim to one-of-a-kind Cooperstown fame?
He was the only Hall of Famer to play with eyeglasses. As predicted, two years later, Reggie Jackson was elected
b) Who are the only two people represented in the Hall of Fame who are unaffiliated with baseball on any level, in any capacity? The Brooklyn Dodgers and the New York Yankees are two franchises that became defunct during the 1940's. Explain.
Abbott & Costello ("Who's on First?" of course)
The pro football teams by those names bit the dust
What is the greatest contribution to sport made by Etchohuaquita?
It's the birthplace of Fernando Valenzuela (Some incredible guesses on this one)
What do the following athletes have in common-- it obviously isn't their sport: Roger Clemens, Raghib Ismail, Maurice Richard, and Rod Laver?
The nickname "The Rocket
The West Texas State University football team has graduated more pros than any other; however, football isn't their field of experience. Name four professional wrestlers to have played for this goon squad. (We can think of at least nine
Ted DiBiase, Tully Blanchard, Terry Funk, Dusty Rhodes, Stan Hansen, Tito Santana, Barry Windham, Scott Casey, Manny Fernandez
What is the athletic significance of "the hand of God"?
The winning goal in the 1986 World Cup semi-final between Argentina and England was illegally punched in by Diego Maradona. Asked if he'd done it after the game, Maradona replied, "it was the hand of God
From 1984 through 1989, only six NCAA Division-1 schools had athletic graduation rates of 96% or better. Numbers 2 through 6 were Princeton, Harvard, Holy Cross, Duke and Dartmouth. But one brain factory outdid them all-- what school boasted the only pristine, 100%-success ratio in the USA?
INSTITUTIONS OF HIGHER LEARNING
a) There are only three current major leaguers who never played a game in the minors-- name two of them.
JUST A FEW MORE BASEBALL QUESTIONS
Dave Winfield, Pete Incaviglia, John Olerud, Jim Abbott (okay, so there were four; at least we're admitting it now, right?)
b) Only twice in baseball history have two players managed to stay teammates for 18 consecutive years. This feat was first accomplished by Senators Joe Judge and Sam Rice, who watched each other shower from 1915 to 1932. Name the other, more recent pair.
George Brett & Frank White (Kansas City Royals (1974-1991))
c) Pathetic though it may be, only three players have managed to hit 20 home runs and drive in 80 RBI in each of the past five years. Name 'em.
Kevin McReynolds, Joe Carter, Cal Ripken
d) About a decade ago, the Yankees' Tommy John was named "Father of the Year" by a group that does such things. How did Tommy's family make the news during the same year that led up ro his honor?
His infant son fell out a window
e) In 1988, Orel Hershiser won the last game of the World Series, allowing the Oakland A's just three hits, while hitting three himself! Before Orel, who was the last pitchers to get as many hits in a complete Series game as he permitted the other team? (No relievers)
Don Larsen (0-0)
f) Nowadays, we all know that big leaguers charge for their autographs. What two living ex-players' signatures are currently the most expensive buys on the autograph circuit, and for what gruesome reasons?
Joe DiMaggio-- 75 years old and sure to die soon; Roy Campanella-- prosthetic signer limits the quantity that the paralyzed catcher can do)
In the four major sports, what major sports franchise has gone the longest-- 25 years and counting-- without one .500 or sub-.500 winning percentage?
KEEPING ONES HEAD ABOVE WATER
The Boston Bruins
What professional wrestler had the longest uninterrupted title reign?
LONGEVITY IS WHAT DEFINES THE TRUE GREATS
The Fabulous Moolah-- 27+ consecutive years as Ladies' Champion
What is the largest U.S. City that does not have an active sports franchise in any of the four major sports?
San Jose---- who have since obtained the Sharks
If you decided to name your horse "Fuck You, President Bush," why wouldn't you be allowed to enter it into the Kentucky Derby?
The name contains too many letters
We all know about the Brooklyn/LA Dodgers, and all the other teams that have gone mobile. No, we're not going to ask you the Yankees' original name, or about any baseball teams at all. We want to make you work a little. And so, please give the genealogical permutations of the following franchises. (Years spent in spot not needed, but all name or city switches are
a) What are the five classifications for thoroughbred racehorses, and what are the distinctions between them?
Colt-- young male; Horse-- male with children; Gelding-- castrated male; Filly-- young female; Mare-- female with children
b) Within 3, by how many lengths did Secretariat finish ahead of the place horse in the 1973 Belmont Stakes? Assuming that one player is a grandmaster and the other a moron, what is the fewest amount of moves in which a checkamte can be obtained in a chess game? Describe or diagram the sequence.
No diagram handy, but it can be done in 4 moves or 2 moves, depending on how you're counting. In other words, Player B can win on his second move
The Washington Redskins' all-time receiving record is held by the unforgettable Anthony Allen, who pulled down 255 yards in a single game. Wait a minute-- the unforgettable Anthony WHO? How did this gridiron obscurity manage to leave his indelible mark in Washington sports history?
He was one of the scab replacements whose career lasted as long as the NFL strike-- 3 games
Give us five major rule differences between the NFL and the league which we predict will eventually bury it, the WLAF?
SPRING, WHEN A YOUNG MAN'S FANCY LIGHTLY TURNS TO THOUGHTS OF OFFSIDES PENALTIES
There may be others, but here are ten: The 2-point conversion option after a touchdown; the clock stops after first downs to move chains; kickoffs into the endzone that are NOT returned only come ouyt to the 10-yard line; a 30-second clock; overtime wins must be by at least 9 points; the HELMET-CAM!; no instant replay; no "in the grasp" rule for quarterbacks; radio communication permitted between the QB and his sideline; flagrant pass interference is a 15-yard penalty, not "spot of the foul
a) When Will Clark went hurtling into the crowd in pursuit of a foul pop-up during the 1989 postseason, into whose lap did he crash-land?
Commissioner Fay Vincent
b) If you call Will Clark when he's not at home, what song will you hear on his answering machine? Back in 1913 (some of us were at the game), Army was considered the unbeatable football team. But a tiny, unknown school pulled off one of the biggest upsets in the history of sports, using some truly unorthodox strategy to beat Army, 35-13. What was the secret trick, devised by player Knute Rockne, that catapulted Notre Dame into American football consciousness?
"The Thrill Is Gone" (B.B. King)
A little something called "the forward pass
According to the always-compelling WWF Collectors' Cards, who is Hulk Hogan's "Least favorite person"?
VITAMINS, TRAINING AND PRAYERS..... AND ANABOLIC STEROIDS DON'T HURT
"No one-- Hulk looks for the best in everyone
What was the distinction of Paul Franklin Otis, Class of 1912?
WILLIAMS COLLEGE ALUMNI IN SPORTS WHOSE NAMES DON'T RHYME WITH "FLEINBRENNER"
Until his death shortly before this contest, he had been baseball's oldest living ex-player (batted 1-for-20 with the Highlanders)
Most NBA players are terrestrial; that is, they were born on the planet Earth. Only one NBAer is immune to this-- who is he, and what planet does he hail from?
XTRATERRESTRIAL ATHLETES (NOT TO MENTION XTRA LEEWAY IN COMPLETING THIS ALPHABET SHTICK)
Darryl Dawkins-- from the planet Lovetron (or so he claimed for years)
In what sport will you find competitors duking it out in the "one-man buck"?
The last time we ran Trivia, we asked you about the most famous sports figure named "Yelberton." Okay, who's the most famous sports figure named "Dorrel"?
Baseball manager Whitey Herzog