Trivia Champions Margins of Victory

Who Da Man?

Those who have asked for an official "Who's the greatest team ever?" verdict are doomed to disappointment. There are just too many criteria to weigh, and too many differences between eras which need to be compensated for, but cannot. The difference between Carter's 20-point win in 1968, and Take the Cannolis' 65-point romp twenty years later, is not so terribly great as the raw numbers appear.

Any unilateral choice suits only the person who makes it. Highest score? Greatest percentage of points claimed? Most contests won? Longest stretch of top-level play? Most top players on board? Perkiest abs? And besides, any discussion of an "all-time Trivia team" must include the venerable Manhattan Skyliners, who have never come close to winning.

No, like religion, politics, or one's favorite Ramone, each person must decide what they consider to be the truest hallmark of greatness. However, in an effort to keep the debate percolating, here's one cache of useful ammo: a list of various champions' victory margins over their 2nd-place competition. Not all contest scores are available, alas. Sixteen of the vitctory margins are currently unknown. But this gives a pretty good idea of a pretty good amount of 'em.

Again, this is a case of statistics for statisticians. The total points that are even available in a contest is something out of the control of the players, and that has a huge bearing on what sort of margin is possible. Also, a team's margin of victory is obviously, utterly, and necessarily dependent on the #2 team. Play with the following digits at your own risk.

Date Winner Second Place Margin
May 2013 Requiem for the Blue Civic 1  Zombies Ate Paul's Brainz 73
Dec 1988 Leave the Gun, Take the Cannolis Ralph the Wonder Llama 65
May 2001 I Say It's Duck Season, and I Say "Fire!" I've Got Spain Up My Nose 63
May 1991 Phasers on Stun: The Next Generation Beaker, I Find You Hauntingly Attractive 58
Jan 2019 Four Oreos Away from Paradise Band Geeks 58
May 2021 Death By Chocolate: Charles Guiteau I'm not a cat 57
Jan 2008 I'm Oxford Dot Com Des and Dom's Bucket List 54
May 1995 Elvis Needs Boats! Vicious Chicken of Bristol 46
May 2012 Jack is da Bomb Must Capture Moose and Squirrel! 42
May 2014 Polar Vortex Episode V: The Vortex Strikes Back The NEST 42
Jan 2016 Taha Noa Noa Trapped on the Fourth Floor 42
Jan 2023 WHOPPER WHOPPER WHOPPER WHOPPER If you were a bird, what kind of bird would you be? 40
May 2003 Click Here to Get Huge Funny, These Fries Don't Taste Like Freedom 39
Jan 2012 BOMO Jack is da Bomb 39
May 2017 US vs. Good Time in Vegas Trash Pandas 39
Jan 2011 The Ohio Players BreastFriends 38
May 2010 Return of the Large Hardon Collider: Harder Better Faster Stronger Just for the Halibut 37
Dec 1997 A Dead Postman Doesn't Deliver Much Mail I Got My Head Shaved By a Zamboni 35
May 1994 How DARE They Challenge Us With Their Primitive Skills There'll Be No Blaming Mother Tonight! and Sinusoidal Tupperware with Gumption 33
May 2023 If you were a bird, what kind of bird would you be? The Accessory Fruits 33
May 1993 The Purpose of the Military is to Kill People and Break Things A Thermos of Phlegm 31
Jan 2018 P2-D2 Area 52 30
May 1968 Morgan Bascom 29
Dec 1998 I've Got Ives in My Pants Why Did Those Seagulls Take My Sister? 29
Jan 2003 Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bride of the Return of the Revenge of the Terror of the Attack of the Evil Mutant Hellbound Zombified Flesh-Eating Subhumanoid Living Dead Part IV Rule 6.1 29
May 1976 BOMO Buda Bear 28
May 2004 Worker and Parasite Bacchae Aphasia 28
May 2005 Gratuitous Use of the Word "Belgium" Rule 6.2 28
Jan 2006 Awesome Sauce: Grammar For Pussies Like You It May Be Quiet on the Western Front, But It's Rowdy As Hell Out Here in EAST 28
May 2006 Suite, Suite Lovin' Mother of Epoxy 27
May 2002 Joanie Loves Trotsky Culminating in a Spectacular Final Battle on the Surface of the Moon 26
May 2007 The Ubernebulous Space Otters of Alpha Centauri I'm Oxford Dot Com 24
Dec 1985 My Second Favorite Organ Yoyodyne Propulsion Systems 23
May 2022 Masters of Subduction Jack is da Bomb 23
May 1981 Phasers on Stun Death Frog 22
Dec 1992 Your Plastic Pal Who's Fun To Be With I Want To Come Back As Your Trousers 21
Dec 1968 Carter Gladden 20
Dec 1994 Can't..... Do..... Plaid..... (thud) The Weak and Cowardly Have No Place in Shuffleboard 20
May 1992 Phasers on Stun: The Next Generation 2  Unadulterated Mayhem for a Good Cause 19
May 1999 Pokemon Labolatory Obi-Wan Cannoli 19
Dec 2001 Neutered Vampires Who Cheat at Kitten Poker Please Don't Shoot the Violist 19
Jan 2005 Deine Mutter ist Geekenvermachtstaffle Penn 15 19
May 1985 Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius General Tsao's Chicken 18
Jan 2013 Noumenal Yodelling Tugboats and Arson 18
Jan 2014 ANUSTART SpAc3 Tigers 18
Jan 2015 Freaky and the Fridays Ice Cream Buffet: Mocha for Boserx 17
Dec 1977 Alphabet Soup BOMO 16
Jan 2004 Mortal Wombat Human Hindenbergs 16
Dec 1982 Smedley Terrace Odds and Ends for 20, Art 15
Dec 1983 Rule Six The Rest on Gift Certificate 15
May 1990 Oxygen is for Losers Miserable Fat Belgian Bastards 14
Dec 1969 Gladden The Grand Duchy of Fenwick 13
Dec 1979 The Pros From Dover Maximus Drott 12
Dec 2000 Holy Sack and the Resident Vomit Specialists Not Everybody Can Experience the Glory That is Steve's Mom 12
Jan 2009 Silence in the Hub The Inaugural Balls 12
Jan 2017 Beautiful Human Submarines Such Lawsuit. Many Rights. Wow: Obergefell v. Doges 12
Dec 1971 Free Tumblers The Grand Duchy of Fenwick 10
Dec 1996 Gentle Tongue-Tongue, He Weeps, For He Has But One Tongue with Which to Taste an Entire World Bob Ross III: Pimpbot 2000 10
May 1978 BOMO Maximus Drott 9
Dec 1978 Maximus Drott Alphabet Soup 9
May 1980 Cunning Linguists Alphabet Soup 9
May 1982 Local 12 Paul Lynde to Block 9
May 1987 I Don't Have to Answer That Question! Venezuelan Beaver Cheese 9
Dec 1973 BOMO The General 8
May 1984 Chicago 60609 Round Up the Usual Suspects 8
May 2019 [citation needed] Jack is da Bomb 8
Dec 1995 A Bunch of Mindless Jerks Who'll Be the First Up Against the Wall When The Revolution Comes Uncle Doobie, Goodtime Slim, and the Great Frisco Freak-Out 7
May 1973 The Great Impostor BOMO 6
May 1998 At 200 Miles Per Hour, There is No Diplomatic Immunity Mark Taylor Has Only One Ass. He Is Of No Use to Us. We Must Burn the Room, Burn the Room! 6
Jan 2007 Laymen JC Superstars: Take Me Caiphas! The Ubernebulous Space Otters of Alpha Centauri 6
May 2008 Stink, Stank, Stunk! Ephraim's Army 6
May 2015 Honey Bunches of Scrote R. Kelly Presents: Trapped on the Fourth Floor 6
Dec 1976 Buda Bear General Bumble 5
May 1977 General Morgasm BOMO 5
Dec 1993 Oh No, Bette Midler! Huh-Huh-Huhhh-Huh-Huhhhh!!! 5
Dec 1999 Make Way for Ducklings, Motherfucker Reduces Mouse to a Souplike Homogenate in 0.3 Seconds 5
May 2000 The Funk of 40,000 Years We Have a Pregnant Geologist, And We're Not Afraid to Use Her 5
May 1969 Williams B Bryant House 4
May 1979 Alphabet Soup BOMO 4
Dec 1980 Grape Nehi Giga 4
May 1983 Phasers on Stun Walter J. Zwircon 4
May 1997 Chthulu Matata The Challenge of Mr. Sparkle 4
May 1989 Harry "Snapper" Organs There Can Be No Dialogue with Fungus 3
Dec 1990 Five is Right Out I Will Not Do That Thing With My Tongue 3
May 2018 Abe Froman, The Sausage King of Chicago Dream Warriors 3
Dec 1987 A Judo a Chop Chop Chop Lick My Love Pump 2
May 2009 Minnesota Pigpen Ace Deuce 2
Jan 2010 La Esponja Grande The Dwarves of Khazad-dum 2
Jan 2020 Too Early for Flapjacks Jack is da Bomb 2
May 1986 The Giant Pygmies of Beckles Chernobyl Homeowners' Association 1
Dec 1991 Not Everybody Keeps Their Genitals in the Same Place 3  Play To Win and I'll Kill You 1
May 2011 Second Place Stars Geezers on Stun 1
May 2016 Grande Belgian Wombat Tarts Rogue Vortex: A Polar Vortex Story 1
Jan 2022 Poker? I Hardly Know Her Jack is da Bomb 1

AND THE NOTORIOUS OVERTIME CONTESTS:

Date Winner Second Place Margin
May 1972 Bayonettes 4  The Grand Duchy of Fenwick 2
Dec 1986 We Begin Bombing in Five Minutes 5  All The Sugar, Twice the Caffeine 0.0667
May 1996 We Make Holes in Teeth! 6  Certain Unnamed Persons in Taffeta 1
 1 Scoring was somewhat haphazard in this contest, so it is less than certain whether Requiem for the Blue Civic really deserves the honor of having the Biggest Win Of All Time. See the scores page for the contest for more info.
 2 Final scores were only anounced live at Baxter, and are since lost. However, most scores for bonuses, Q's, Actions, etc., are known, as is a scoring update from late in the contest. Phasers:TNG's margin has been extrapolated from these hard numbers and estimated at circa 19.
 3 Play to Win's score changed from +3 to -1 when they declined to run the contest.
 4 The overtime was held on a one-question-at-a-time basis. The tie was broken on the very first OT question when Bayonettes successfully named both the answer and the song. The Grand Duchy missed both.
 5 A 5-questions-at-once playoff was held (no song point), with each team getting the same 3 correct and the same 1 wrong. On the fifth question, which required a three-part answer, We Begin Bombing successfully answered in full, while All the Sugar got 2 of the 3 parts correct, missing the third. The 1/15th of one point difference is unlikely to be challenged. Interestingly, the same All the Sugar team would win the contest two years later as Leave the Gun, Take the Cannolis, thereby claiming the Williams Trivia records for largest win AND tightest loss.
 6 A 3-questions-at-once playoff (no song point) was held with We Make Holes in Teeth! winning, 2 answers to 1.

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