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Injuring Ted Benson

In describing the wonders of Llap-Goch the self-defense system, a paragraph in the copy read in part: "Therefore....the BEST way to protect yourself AGAINST any ASSAILANT is to ATTACK him before he attacks YOU..... Or BETTER..... BEFORE the THOUGHT of doing so has EVEN OCCAURRED TO HIM!!! SO YOU MAY BE ABLE TO RENDER YOUR ASSAILANT UNCONSCIOUS BEFORE he is EVEN aware of your very existence!"

The team that would eventually win, We Begin Bombing in Five Minutes, had scotch-taped their copy of the Llap-Goch ad onto a wall in the Currier Ballroom, in the futile hope that repeated viewing would inspire, suggest, or otherwise reveal its hidden usefulness. Eventually, team member Desmond Devlin noticed the above section of the text. We Begin Bombing leapt into action.

Outfitting Nick Levis '87 in a makeshift stovepipe hat, eyemask, false nose, Pilgrim tunic, etc., the team sent Levis down to Baxter in full Llap-Gochian array. Springing onto the first Giant Pygmy he saw-- yes, our hero Ted Benson-- a growling Levis proceeded to fling him to the ground, hurting Ted's arm and breaking Ted's eyeglasses in the tumult. Suddenly realizing what he had done, Nick looked down at a confused and injured Ted prostrate on the WCFM hallway floor, and posed the only question any caring, empathetic player could ask: "This isn't going to affect our score, is it?"

It neither added nor subtracted, but the everpresent opportunity to "injure Ted Benson" for points, darkly hinted at by on-air rules-readers, lingered for years to come.