WILL YOU JOIN ME PLEASE IN WELCOMING THE GREATEST ROCK AND ROLL BAND IN THE WORLD, MAKING THEIR ABSOLUTE LAST TRIVIA FAREWELL TOUR AND THIS TIME WE MEAN IT, BY GUM......
HOW DARE THEY CHALLENGE US WITH THEIR PRIMITIVE SKILLS?
THE ORIGINAL LINEUP, BEFORE WE WERE BROKEN UP BY THE PRESSURES OF SUCCESS:
| Bass | Desmond "The 4th Pip" Devlin |
| Keyboards | The Artist Formerly Known as Mike Devlin |
| Lead Guitar | Wendi Frasca Goes To Hollywood |
| Sousaphone | Gayle "Little Miss Dynamite" Gaddis |
| Triangle | Shane Guenego and Dawn |
| Parallelogram | Jon "Wear My Ring Around Your Neck, and Tell the World I'm Yours, By" Heck |
| Finger Snaps | Steve "The Gloved One" Homer |
| Lead Vocals | Paul "The Maestro of Love" Kahn |
| Backing Vocals | Virgil "Mr." Lee |
| Screeching Vocals | Little Richard Levey |
| French Horn | Scott "Eleanor" Rigby |
| English Horn | Bill "Boy Toy" Schiano |
| Tongan Horn | Tim "The Velvet Fog" Swankey |
| Electric Oboe | Bob "Old Blue Eyes" Westervelt |
| Harsh, Intermittent Whistling | Moish "Jesus of Cool" Whinston |
| AND THEIR WINTER '94 ROADIES: | |
| The Big E, Evan Kahn | |
| Michael "Rowed The Boat Ashore" Larkin | |
| Screamin' Jeff Lindenblatt | |
| Chris "The Thin White Duke" Meisner | |
| Ari "U.S." Weinstein | |
I'd like to say "thanks" on behalf of the group, and I hope we passed the audition. (AR HAR HAR)