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PART THE FIRST: BASEBALL

  1. The only pitcher with all five vowels in his last name.
    Ed Figueroa

  2. The only man to hit a homer OUT of Dodger Stadium (and he did it twice).
    Willie Stargell

  3. The last man to win a batting title while hitting NO home runs.
    Rod Carew

  4. Had 361 home runs in his career, against 369 strikeouts.
    Joe DiMaggio

  5. Hit over .400 for a five-year span.
    Rogers Hornsby

  6. Delivered over 500 hits for four different teams.
    Rusty Staub

  7. Had five hits in one World Series game.
    Paul Molitor

  8. Pitched the most innings -- 14 -- in one World Series game.
    Babe Ruth

  9. His last appearance in the World series came 22 years after his first.
    Willie Mays

  10. The only player to have 40-homer seasons in each league.
    Darrell Evans

  11. The only MVP chosen from a last-place team.
    Andre Dawson

  12. The only pitcher to actually play as the DH.
    Rick Rhoden

  13. The man with the most hits in the 1980's.
    Robin Yount

B) WHO SAID IT?

Give us the speakers of the following baseball-related quotes:

  1. "I took the two most expensive aspirins in history."
    Wally Pipp (replaced for the next 14 years by Lou Gehrig)

  2. "I have to get that hit this year. I might die."
    Roberto Clemente, eerily referring to the 3,000th hit he would later get in the last game of the season, and his life.

  3. Referring to a Steve McQueen movie on a clubhouse TV: "He must have made that before he died."
    Yogi Berra, of course.

  4. The 1981 Yankees took a 2-0 lead over Milwaukee in the evil mini-playoffs, but the Brewers bounced back to force Game Five. Principal owner and Williams alumnus George M. Steinbrenner stormed into the locker room, and screamed at his men to start playing ball. Then, one Yankee stood up and spoke for a grateful nation. Looking at the Boss, he remarked, "Fuck you, George."
    Rick Cerone (Yankee catcher)

C) GENERAL BASEBALL QUESTIONS:

  1. Name the ten players to hit 50 or more homers in a season.
    Mantle, Maris, Ruth, Foster, Kiner, Hack Wilson, Greenberg, Foxx, Mize, Mays

  2. Name the six pitchers to have beaten all 26 teams.
    Nolan Ryan, Gaylord Perry, Mike Torrez, Rick Wise, Doyle Alexander, Don Sutton

  3. Harry Heilmann was one of the premier hitters of his day, winning four batting crowns. But, what was unique about those four titles?
    They came in alternating years (1921, 1923, 1925, and 1927).

  4. Who is the only man in baseball with his name printed on his hat?
    American League umpire AL Clark.

  5. Name the only player to make a vocal appearance on a Top 40 single.
    Phil Rizzuto, on "Paradise By The Dashboard Light."

  6. Who are the only two pitchers to throw ano-hitter during the same year in which they won a Cy Young Award?
    Sandy Koufax, Mike Scott

  7. Cy Young Awards are nice, but they don't bring you peace of mind. In the past two decades or so, no fewer than five Cy Young winners later had trouble with the law. Name them.
    Dwight Gooden, Lamaar Hoyt, Vida Blue, Fergie Jenkins, Denny McLain

  8. Why do the years 1930 and 1968 stand out like sore thumbs in baseball annals?
    1930 saw all sorts of record-setting batting numbers; statistically, 1968 was the top pitching year since the dead ball era.

  9. Please name all of the teams who failed to win at least one divisional pennant during the 1980's.
    Reds, Pirates, Mariners, Rangers, Indians

  10. It is theoretically possible for a pitcher to hurl a no-hitter in which none of the opposing batters' averages go down: 27 walks and 27 pickoffs, for example. However, it actually occurred once in baseball history. What were the unique circumstances that permitted this mathematical aberration?
    Bob Feller pitched a no-hitter on Opening Day; thus all batters began and ended with .000 averages.

  11. What four prohibitive words will you find stencilled on nearly every backstop in baseball?
    NO PEPPER GAMES ALLOWED

  12. Billy Ripken's 1989 Fleer baseball card is a collector's item. Not for worthless Billy, but for his (usually worthless) bat. What is it about his bat that makes his card valuable?
    Some prankster had written "FUCK FACE" on the bat's knob, which went unnoticed through the printing stage of the card.

  13. At the tailend of his career, relief wizard Rollie Fingers was prepared to hook up with the Cincinnati Reds, but hit a snag during contract negotiations, and chose to retire instead. What problem kept Rollie out of a Reds uniform?
    The Reds insist that their players shave; Rollie refused to give up his trademark mustache.

  14. You are Willie Stargell in the early 1980's. And although you have yet to reach your current weight of 84,000 pounds, you're still pretty hefty. Somehow, the notion to steal second base enters your head. You waddle over on the pitch. You will be thrown out by a minimum of 15 feet. What brilliant strategem do you employ, in an attempt not to get tagged out?
    Attempt to call "time out" in the middle of the play.

  15. Billy who? The 1960 Cubs put the Yankees to shame, using EIGHT managers in a SINGLE season! Beyond the sheer volume, what else was unique about this octet of field generals?
    They all managed at once, once every eight days, in a rotating "College of Coaches."

  16. One team managed to give baseball not one, not two, but FOUR consecutive Rookies-of-the-Year. Name the team, and their four greenhorns.
    Dodgers -- Sutcliffe '79; Howe '80; Valenzuela '81; Sax '82.

  17. What team posted a winning record every year from 1968 to 1985, the second-longest string in history?
    The Baltimore Orioles

  18. When the Yankees held "Phil Rizzuto Day," the beloved Scooter was showered with gifts. One of these gifts, however, turned on the diminituive announcer. What was it?
    Huckleberry, a "Holy Cow" that wandered into Phil, sending him sprawling.

  19. Before Clemens struck out 20 Mariners, the old record was 19, and was shared by Seaver, Carlton and Ryan. As it happens, there was one player who was in uniform, on the roster, and available to play in all three of these record-setting performances. He did not necessarily appear in all three games, but he could have done so. Name that player.
    Nolan Ryan!

  20. The 1927 Yankees are known as Murderer's Row, the 1919 White Sox as the Black Sox. Please provide the nicknames for the following teams.

  21. Where, specifically, is the shortest home run spot in any major league ballpark? (For example, "centerfield, Blop Stadium.")
    Right field, Fenway Park (302 feet) (Phasers on Stun also pointed out "the drain in the Astrodome," which keeps the ball live and in play.)

PART THE SECOND: PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING

  1. David, Michael, Chris, Kevin and Kerry are each the product of what wrestling clan's DNA?
    The Von Erichs

  2. Hulk Hogan wasn't always such a goody-goody. But whereas most wrestlers must go from good-to-bad (or vice versa) by turning on their partner, publicly firing their manager, rescuing somebody, or getting beaten up, Hulk's transformation was much less elaborate. How did WWF fans learn that the once-evil Hulk was now a good guy?
    Bob Backlund told the fans, "Hulk used to be bad....but now he's good."

  3. What was the name of the character portrayed by Hulk in "Rocky 3"?
    "Thunderlips"

  4. Which comedian's head was split open by the Hulkster when he put a sleeper hold on him (on TV), then allowed him to drop to the floor? (The case is still pending.)
    Richard Belzer

  5. Before surgeons removed the calcium deposits on Captain Lou Albano's medulla oblongata, instantly turning him good, he was the consummate evil manager. In what specific sort of wrestling was the Captain's managerial expertise most in evidence?
    Tag team -- 16 championships

  6. "Are you making fun of me?" demanded Jimmy Snuka, on his legendary appearance on "Rowdy" Roddy Piper's "Piper's Pit." You couldn't put one past the Stuporfly. With what sort of food did Piper smash Snuka's head with, to make him feel more at home?
    Coconuts and bananas.

  7. Please complete the Roddy Piper quote: "When you start to know the answers...."
    ".....that's when I change the questions."

  8. What word is inscribed on the back of the Junkyard Dog's trunks?
    THUMP

  9. We all loved the Moondogs, and wouldn't want to ever choose between Spot and Rex. However, there was once a third Moondog, King. What sad fate befell the #3 Moondog?
    He was (or so we were grimly told) "killed while chasing cars."

  10. At the embarrassing WWF Slammy Awards, there was a tightly contested race for "Animal of the Year," with such bestial luminaries as Matilda the Dog, Damien the Snake, and Frankie the Bird all vying for the honor. Who won?
    George "the Animal" Steele.

  11. Please name the four annual wrestling fests offered by the WWF, and the top show hosted by the NWA.
    Wrestlemania, Survivor Series, Summerslam, Royal Rumble. NWA's lead event is Starrcade.

  12. Jimmy "Mouth of the South" Hart manages a lot of bad guys, but when he's in the Honky Tonk Man's corner, he affects a different nickname. What is it?
    The Colonel

  13. "No Holds Barred" proved that wrestling and Hollywood don't mix, but that hasn't stopped dozens of grapplers from taking a stab at the big screen. What star vehicle for one popular wrestler included in its credits such stellar roles as "Squidlips," "Poor Dufus," "Li'l Mutant," and "Unfortunate Frog Guard," and what wrestling great starred in it?
    "Hell Comes To Frogtown," starring Roddy Piper as "Sam Hell"

  14. Sometimes a regular pin match is just too puny to contain the action. What are the specific details that govern these types of wrestling matches:

    a) A lumberjack match -- ring surrounded by other wrestlers (usually 20) who throw the combatants back into the ring if they fall out or attempt to leave.
    b) A chain match -- two opponents attached by a chain so they cannot escape one another; needless to say, the chain itself is often used as a weapon.
    c) A tuxedo match -- both wrestlers begin match in full tuxedo; the first man to strip his opponent to his underwear is the winner.

PART THE THIRD: BOXING

  1. He was recently outwitted by a tree, but Central State University saw fit to bestow that scholar Mike Tyson with an honorary doctorate. Please approximate this learned man's speech.
    "I don't know what kind of doctor this makes me, but as I look out on all the fine women in the audience, I hope it's a gynecologist!"

  2. We lost more than the Greatest when Muhammed Ali left the ring. We lost all touch with reality. Name the eleven men who bamboozled one boxing division or another into anointing them champ between Ali and Tyson.
    Larry Holmes; Michaels Spinks; Greg Page; Tony Tubbs; Michael Dokes; Gerry Coetzee; Tim Witherspoon; Pinklon Thomas; Trevor Berbick; Mike Weaver; James "Bonecrusher" Smith)

  3. Joe Bugner's main claim to fame was fighting a father-son combination (separately, of course). Name this family of fisticuffs.
    Joe and Marvis Frazier.

  4. One hundred years ago, in 1889, John L. Sullivan defeated Jake Kilrain in a mere 75 rounds to become heavyweight champ, in the last fight of this type. What's the most obvious difference between the Sullivan-Kilrain fight, and a 1989-style bout?
    It was the last official bareknuckle heavyweight championship fight.

PART THE FOURTH: FOOTBALL

  1. At the very first Super Bowl, the very first kickoff had to be redone. Why?
    The TV broadcast was in a commercial and missed it. Pretty prescient, we must say.

  2. Howard Cosell never played the game, but eight ex-jock turfheads did. Name the 8 former football players to co-announce "Monday Night Football."
    Dan Meredith, Fran Tarkenton, Joe Namath, Dan Dierdorff, Alex Karras, Fred Williamson, Frank Gifford, and the man whose only crime back then was his announcing, O.J. Simpson.

  3. Who is the only man to win a Super Bowl as a player, and one as a coach?
    Tom Flores, Chiefs & Raiders.

  4. What dubious distinction did Roman Gabriel hold when he retired in 1977?
    Most career fumbles

  5. What major college football team was actually once known as "the Bugeaters"?
    The Nebraska Cornhuskers

  6. Which college team has the most wins?
    Yale

  7. Remember being Willie Stargell? Now, you're Redskins running back John Riggins. You're at a fancy Washington banquet, and you may have had a little too much to drink. You see Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor. Describe your behavior from this point on.
    You stagger up to Justice O'Connor and slur, "Hey, Sandy, baby, loosen up. You're too tight." Soon, you pass out underneath a dinner table.

  8. The World Football League got an even worse deal than the USFL; they didn't even get the three dollars. Before it limped out of existence in the mid-1970s, it fielded no fewer than 19 clubs. Seeing as we're such nice guys, we only expect you to name eight of them.
    Florida Blazers (Orlando also); Philadelphia Bell; Memphis Southmen; Southern California Sun (Anaheim also); Chicago Fire; Portland Storm; Jacksonville Express; Chicago Winds; Shreveport Steamer; Charlotte Hornets; New York Stars; Jacksonville Sharks; Birmingham Americans; Detroit Wheels; The Hawaiians (from Honolulu); Houston Texans; Birmingham Vulcans; Portland Thunder; San Antonio Wings.

  9. Name that rock-and-roll king who made his first and last appearance as the surprise star of the halftime show at last year's Super Bowl.
    The one and only "Elvis Presto."

PART THE FIFTH: GOLF

  1. In 1975, Joe Flynn set a scoring record of 82 for a round of 18 holes. What was unusual about his feat?
    He was throwing the ball.

PART THE SIXTH: TENNIS

  1. After a series of near-misses, John McEnroe finally beat Bjorn Borg for the Wimbledon championship. Afterwards, Borg was less than gallant in defeat, and certainly less than talkative. His concession speech/ post-game interview lasted just four words. What were they?
    "John is the winner." (repeated in response to every question)

PART THE SEVENTH: BASKETBALL

  1. What 1937 rule change revolutionized the game of professional basketball?
    The elimination of the mid-court jump ball following every basket.

  2. What two players active in the 1989-90 NBA season saw time in the old ABA?
    Moses Malone; Caldwell Jones

  3. What player has scored the most points in the 1980s?
    Alex English

  4. What three active players have scored 60 points in a single game?
    Michael Jordan; Larry Bird; Bernard King

  5. When the Knicks saluted Julius Erving on "Doctor J Day," they provided fans with a poster showing famous doctors (get it?). Joyce Brothers, Bones McCoy, etc. However, one Doctor's picture had to be replaced with an innocuous Knicks logo at the last minute; which Doctor was it, and what prompted the switch?
    Dwight "Doctor K" Gooden; the promotion took place soon after Gooden's drug problems.

PART THE EIGHTH: SOCCER

  1. When soccer great Pele retired before a cheering crowd, he asked them to chant three words along with him. What were those three words?
    "Love," "love," and "love."

PART THE NINTH: MISCELLANEOUS

  1. Three sports personalities share the same name as three famous classical composers; for example, Yankee manager Ludwig Beethoven. Please name them -- and be advised, this one is a little tricky.
    Baseball general manager/bigwig Dick Wagner; basketball coach John Bach; football great "Mean" Joe Greene ("Guiseppi Verdi" to you paisans).

  2. There are four sports which you win by going backwards; that is, in which backward momentum carries you to victory. Name them.
    Tug-of-war, backstroke, high jump, rowing, repelling (so there were five -- like you're so perfect)

  3. In what game does a team squidge and squop its way to victory?
    Tiddlywinks

  4. What athlete won the gold medal in his Olympic event for four consecutive Olympics?
    Al Oerter, discus throw

  5. Which four countries have participated in every Olympic Games?
    Greece, England, Switzerland, Australia

  6. Bomber the Bald Eagle was supposed to be the official mascot for the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles, but things didn't work out for Bomber. What prevented him from being the El Lay Eagle?
    The smog in Los Angeles killed him (no joke).

  7. With what sport do we associate the late, great Ashley Whippet?
    Canine frisbee catching

  8. In poker, what is a "dead man's hand"?
    Aces over eights (black aces over black eights with the Jack of diamonds for purists)

  9. In other sports, you get to spend a nice leisurely afternoon at the ballpark or the arena. But what competition is over so fast that a five-second performance will put you in last place?
    Drag racing

  10. Who were Don Miller, Jim Crowley, Harry Stuhldreher, and Elmer Layden?
    Notre Dame's fabled "Four Horsemen"

  11. Name the seven celebrity athletes to adorn a box of Wheaties.
    Michael Jordan, Pete Rose, Bruce Jenner, Mary Lou Retton, Walter Payton, Chris Evert, and 1956 pole vault champ Bob Richards.

  12. Name all the pieces you can be in standard "Monopoly."
    Man on horseback; top hat; car; dog; boot; thimble; wheelbarrow; iron

  13. What athlete appeared simultaneously on the covers of "Time," "Newsweek," and "Sports Illustrated"?
    Secretariat

  14. In 1951, Shanley High School beat arch-rival Devil's Lake, 32-27. One of the Shanley players set a high school mark that still stands, by returning four kickoffs for touchdowns. Ten years, he set another sports record that also still stands. Who is he, and what's his other record?
    Roger Maris -- most home runs in a season (61)

  15. The English wit Oscar Wilde was imprisoned because of his testimony in court regarding his "gross indecency" with the son of the Marquess of Queensberry. Whith what sport is the mortified Marquess associated?
    Boxing (established basic rules)

  16. What athlete scored an NFL touchdown in the same week he hit a major league home run?
    Deion Sanders (Yankees, Falcons)

  17. If there was a Seattle Celtics team in hockey, or a Chicago Maple Leafs team in baseball, they'd share their nicknames with another major sports squad. Please name all the double-teams in the four major sports (baseball, football, basketball, and hockey).
    Giants (NY, SF); Kings (LA, Sacramento); Cardinals (Saint Louis, Phoenix); Jets (Winnepeg, NY); Oilers (Houston, Edmonton); Rangers (Texas, NY).

  18. Who is surely the most successful pro athlete named Yelberton?
    Giants quarterback Y.A. Tittle

  19. "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." What does this have to do with a Sports Super Bonus?
    It's the text of John 3:16, so often flashed on signs held by "fans."

  20. What did Konishiki do less than two weeks ago, and why was it so remarkable?
    He won the Japanese sumo wrestling championship, only the second Amerucan to do so.

  21. From the realm of the very miscellaneous, what six pseudo-athletic stunts does Ron Obvious attempt, under the direction of his opportunistic manager (from "Monty Python")?
    Jump the English Channel; eat Chicester Cathedral; tunnel to Java; split a railway line with his unprotected nose; run to the planet Mercury; stay underground the longest (still pending).

PART THE TENTH: ART CLASS

PART THE ELEVENTH: THE SUPER COLOSSAL ULTRA-CUTTHROAT COMPETITION SWEEPSTAKES

PART THE TWELFTH: BITS AND PIECES

(10 isolated segments of memorable sports photographs were shown.)

  1. Ali knocks out Liston to win heavyweight title

  2. Roger Bannister breaks the 4-minute mile

  3. Bob Beamon breaks long-jump record by more than a foot

  4. Don Larsen's perfect game in 1956 World Series

  5. U.S. Olympic hockey team wins 1980 gold

  6. Tommie Smith uses 1968 medal presentation for black protest

  7. Dwight Clark catches Joe Montana's pass to win 1981 NFC championship

  8. Mary Decker trips and falls during her Olympic race

  9. Willie Mays' catch on Vic Wertz' drive in 1954 World Series

  10. Mark Spitz wins one of his 7 gold medals in 1972 Olympics