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GENTLE TONGUE-TONGUE, HE WEEPS FOR HE HAS BUT ONE SMALL TONGUE WITH WHICH TO TASTE THE WORLD

The 62nd Semi-Annual Williams College Trivia Contest May 16-17, 1997

The endless tinkering with Trivia's format continued. Notably, Tongue-Tongue increased the value of each Action Trivia from 5 to 6 points. They tried to simultaneously impose a more objective scoring system; 0-3 points were allocated for accuracy and content (the boring stuff), and 0 to 3 points for manic frenzy and creativity (the no-content stuff). General opinion for this revamp skewed positive.

The previous time this group ran the contest, they added in the semi-new feature of Insta-Boni, which were not well received. This time, Tongue-Tongue dropped Insta's, but added an 8-point "Hidden Bonus." The Hidden Bonus was an interlocking series of clues, images and remarks that were scattered inside Hour and Super Boni, spoken on the air, encoded on answering machines, and down at the WCFM studio. Though only one team was able to master it in total, the Hidden Bonus got a good response from all.

Tongue-Tongue chose to snuff the one-semester "tradition" of the Mega Bonus in its crib. They DID pick up the gauntlet of "Horrible Song Quartets," and how!--- compounding the evil by playing not a measly four, but 10 CONSECUTIVE tunes of terror. (Although the consensus was that the love ballad "Shoot Me in the Ass" had no business being called "horrible." A rare, and tragic, Tongue-Tongue misstep.)

THE QUESTIONS

SUPER BONI

  1. (12:00): The Arts -- Only occasionally gritty reproduction impeded this great assortment of paintings, sculpture, dance, architecture, and photography from the past 150 years. Teams had to, mostly, identify the creators or subjects of each.
  2. (4 AM): O' Canada (questions only) -- The history! The geography! The currency! Oh, the humanity! 160+ questions on our neighbors to the north, from Prime Ministers to fried dough, with SCTV, Rush, the green slime, and "the Crazy Canucks" in between. Actually, a free ranging bonus with lots of interesting nooks and crannies, even if it did scare holy hell out of everybody.

HOUR BONI

  1. (12:00): Signs and Symbols (questions only) -- A collection of 50 silhouetted pictograms seen in airports, brochures, highways, and anywhere else that illiteracy is the international language. Beware of bullfrog stampedes, flaming luggage, and poisonous escalators.
  2. (1 AM): Classical Audio (intro) (answers only) -- A far more difficult installment of the 'classical audio' theme than any before. However, this bonus may be best remembered for the faux-audio that preceded it. The on-air music of Elvis Needs Boats (a previous Tongue-Tongue incarnation) was criticized for its aggressively loud and not-always-well-known nature. A subdued Rich Flynn introduced this audio by acknowledging the 1995 gripes, and saying that he'd taken them to heart. This audio, promised Flynn, would be an eclectic assortment of clips from his personal music collection which he hoped would satisfy all tastes. There immediately followed a minute or two of synthesized yowling, crunching and noisy skronk that was so ear-blistering, the caterwaul of Yoko Ono qualified as a respite. (Bonus points to Rich for saying that the recording level was "a little low," and that teams should turn up their radios to hear better.)
  3. (2 AM): Conspiracy Theories -- A wildly popular bonus that looked at political assassinations, alien abductions, mind-warping studies, and other things that are (woo-WOOO-wee-oooo) "out there."
  4. (3 AM): Phreaks of Nature (questions only) -- Mushrooms and pawprints and leaves, oh my. Plus scouting of all genders, local scenery, animal lore, and enough survival tidbits to prove that, in the wild, the typical Trivia player would be found frozen to death in the fetal position inside of an hour.
  5. (4 AM): Less Literate Lit Slits (answers only) -- An update on the popular 1/93 bonus offered by Phasers:TNG. (Technically, this bonus had chunks rather than slits.) Teams had to name each work of literature and its author from the narrow textual glimpse provided by Tongue-Tongue.
  6. (5 AM): Dysfunctional Family Audio (answers only) -- An esoteric assortment of music clips referring to fathers, cousins, in-laws, etc. It now seems fairly certain that every contest this team ever runs will include at least one reference to the Funakdelic song "Uncle Jam Wants You."
  7. (6 AM): Television Weekly -- Tongue-Tongue CALLED this a "TV" bonus, but in actuality, it was a series of one-sentence blurbs describing movies, taken from the TV sections of newspapers. Teams had to ID the movie from what little info was there.
  8. (7 AM): Food -- A tasty sorbet to cleanse the palate of all that came before.

THE HIDDEN BONUS (Transcript)

ACTION TRIVIA

  1. Two words: Roswell, 1947
  2. Canadian theatrical producer Livent Inc., has acquired rights to the classical children's stories of Dr. Seuss, and plans to develop a Brodway musical called "The Seussical" in 1999. (We are not kidding.) Come down to the station and beat them to the punch.
  3. Come down to the station and show us an episode of Politically Incorrect (with a Williams alum as a panelist).
  4. We at Gentle Tongue-Tongue hear that Dax and Worf might get married at some point on Deep Space 9. So come down to the station and show us their wedding.
  5. Come down to the station and show us the trailer for Hollywood's newest over-budget disaster flick, "The Revelation to John: The Motion Picture.
  6. Come down to the station and perform a NEW episode of "Pigs in Space."
  7. Come down to the station and perform an episode of MTV's "Singled Out" for a special interest group that wouldn't ordinarily get dates.

THE DREADED ULTRA BONUS

4 AM

    "Send down the member of your team strongest in The Force." People were graded on a 3-point scale as to how well they duelled with Ethan with bop swords.

FINAL SCORES