Stuff The Student Body Should Definitely Do

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  1. Embrace the revolution.
    1. Against anchor housing?
    2. Not possible in Mission. The hallways are too small and riot-proof.
  2. Learn the difference between "you're" and "your."
    1. Also between "there," "their," and "they're."
    2. And "whose" and "who's."
    3. And "to," "two", and "too," while we're at it.
    4. And "It's" and "Its," for the love of God.
    5. And "then" versus "than."
    6. And "Good" and "Evil"
    7. And my personal favorite, "which" and "that."
      1. And stop insisting on pseudorules, such as the which/that canard, that can claim the authority neither of history nor of literary usage.
    8. And that "quote" is a verb, not a noun. That's "quotation"! On the contraty, "quote" is both a verb and a noun.
      1. And some should learn to spell, apparantly.
        1. And some should learn to spell "apparently". (Leah I love you!)
  3. Learn that which constitutes a valid argument.
    1. Not possible in Mission. The hallways are too small and riot-proof.
  4. Unpop collars.
    1. Not possible in Mission?
  5. Form a volunteer regiment to fight in Iraq and one to fight in Iran and in N. Korea and France and all the other bad guys who hate our freedom.
    1. Not possible in Mission. Hallways are too small and prevent regiments from assembling.
  6. Repop collars.
  7. Drink less hate-orade.
  8. Have more bitchfests on the blogs.
  9. Realize that humanism is like a boot stomping on a human face forever.
  10. Realize that existentialism is a humanism.
  11. Visit Dartmouth and learn Beer Pong, which is way better than Beirut.
    1. Play Beer Pong obsessively.
      1. Our campus isn't really configured quite right for beer pong.
  12. Reconfigure campus for Beer Pong, while we set up anchor housing.
  13. Drink alcoholic beverages sometime.
  14. Unpop collars once more.
  15. Make puns.
  16. Act like obnoxious dicks at the snack bar.
    1. Possible in Mission.
  17. Amuse random alums who edit the wiki.
  18. Guard against acting like tools. Self check, especially when drunk.
  19. Get into more blog bitchfests when there's work to do.
  20. Stop working and go out and get drunk and pull up stakes and smash bikes like the true inner tool you are.
  21. Wear more pink polos...and Re-pop the collars, one more time. (But only as a joke to mock people that actually think it looks good).
    1. Realize that the Pringle's advertising slogan is true for everything.
    2. Why pop the collar when you can turn it inward, so it disappears inside the shirt? Everyone needs to start doing this; Dan Winston '09 created it today. It's the total, ironic anti-pop. But it can't get too popular or he'll have to start ironically regular-popping his collar in response to the fake hipsters and their inward-pop.
  22. Become less PC...