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Ted Wiles

380 bytes added, 01:22, December 8, 2007
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Jurassic Park was based on the early part of Theodore's life.
After centuries of high-rep, light-weight work, he can finally bench his own body weight. His emphasis on explosive lifts has allowed him to improve on the 8 minutes it takes light to get from the sun to earth; he can make the journey in 6:45. Theodore defeated Switzerland in 1814; they've been neutral ever since. When Swiss troops accidentally invaded Lichtenstein, he power cleaned them back to Geneva just to remind why they stopped fighting in the first place.
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