Apollo 18

Apollo 18 was a super-secret U.S. space flight mission to mars begun in 1986. The astronauts were genetically-modified infants, meant to grow in petri dishes in space-flight and reach mars at the age of 21 to conduct research and investigate suspicious phenomenon. Theodore S. Roosevelt Wiles was cut from the mission at the last minute because conditions during the voyage were determined to be too similar to those experienced in the scrum; and as we all well know, a genetic back problem disallows Teddy from playing in the scrum.

These astronauts were:

William A. Janes, A genetic amalgamation of one part gorilla, one part sasquatch, and one part Nordic God, this biology expert was meant to genetically replicate and document any life found on Mars.

Weapon Specialties: M-16, grenades

Pierre W. Bordeaux, Developed from 5 of the best running backs of all time, plus Chris Martin. Good at facts and figures. Maverick.

Weapon Specialties: Energy Blade

Nicholas T. Greer, A troubadour, was sent forward in time when he was 1 year old by the wizard Merlin. Only speaks in Old English and spent much of the space flight proving mathematical formulae already known by modern mathematicians for over a thousand years.

Weapon Specialties: Air Guitar

While Apollo 18 was launched successfully in 1986, the spaceflight was mysteriously lost on radar on August 2, 2004. A super-secret rescue team was soon dispatched. The mission's four crew members, upon arriving on the planet, discovered a mysterious geologic formation in their vicinity. After transmitting their find back to the command center on the World Space Station, they headed for the site to try and learn more. When they arrived at the formation, they noticed a strange sound, which they assumed to be interference from their Mars Rover. While attempting to scan the formation with radar, a large vortex forms around the structure, which enveloped and presumably killed three of the mission's crew, leaving only the mission's commander, Luke Graham (Don Cheadle), alive. The formation also emited an extremely powerful EMP, which irreparably damaged much of the electronic equipment on the spacecraft. Despite the damage, Luke Graham manages to upload one transmission to the REMO (REsupply MOdule) orbiting Mars.

A Martian appears, silently explaining that at some time in the distant past, Mars was hit by a "planet-killer" asteroid which decimated the Martian ecosystem. The Martians were forced to evacuate their home planet and find other places to settle. During their evacuation, however, they also dispatched elementary life forms of their own to the nearby planet Earth, which at the time of the Martian evacuation, contained no life forms. Over the billions of years following this "seed-scattering", these life forms eventually became the humans who would one day land on Mars and be recognized as descendants of that ancient Martian experiment. As the image of the Martian fades away, an invitation is offered for one of the astronauts to follow the Martians to one of their new home planets. Williams A. Janes decides to go and after their farewells, the rest of the surviving crew head back to Earth. As they are heading toward earth they watch in curiosity as Jim inside a Martian craft races away at speeds hundreds of times faster than their ship.