"Brandy increase potency damn right!" - Cossack
"Fuck you, Williams College administration. Fuck you many times over again, and then, fuck you some more. I'll smoke my nargilah whenever I damn well want to, and you can shove your smoking ban up your fucking assholes with all the other liberal bullshit that's already crammed in there." - Cossack, reaction to Williams College's newly announced smoking ban in all dorms
"Goddamn hippies and their vegetarian dinners taking over the dining hall" - Cossack
"Hey, all I'm doing is applying the knowledge I gained in PoliSci class while not sketching C130s releasing MOABs onto groups of hippies." - Cossack
"I don't believe in lesbians. They're either really hot chicks who are bored, or ugly girls who can't get any from guys." - Cossack
"I fly through Newark yeasterday and I think of guy" - Cossack
"I hate hippies so much. I should steal one of the construction [bull]dozers that are always left unlocked and run them over." - Cossack
"I hate hippies so much. I'm gonna fucking kill them all. I'll invent hippie-stench-seeking missiles." - Cossack
"I'm hungry, get me a beer... [ 5 minutes later ] I'm still hungry. Get me another beer." - Cossack
"I've always said that the left is unstoppably careening towards self-destruction. I'm just worried because they seem intent on taking the rest of us with them." - Cossack
"Moldovans are Romanian hicks" - Cossack
"Ooh I do like vodka... it's so "damn right!" on an empty stomach!" - Cossack
"The brave hippies! Standing strong and determined, stopping at nothing until they piss off the largest amount of people possible! Until they lie across all of the nations intersections! Until they raise a stench so great they'll be forced to take a shower by the evil American government! Yeah, it takes guts to hold a protest in a country where that right is constitutionally protected. I don't see many Iraqis protesting though. They must be happy. Come to think of it, we didn't protest much back in the Soviet Union, either. Oh gosh, oh golly, that was such a great regime!" - Cossack
"The good thing about Leslie is that she doesn't have attitude. I can slap her ass all I want and she don't complain." - Cossack
"Why, let me ask again, have you not complained about Saddam killing millions of his people? Did you forget about him? Oh yeah, he's the one who killed lots of those marble-playing children. And their older brothers. And their parents. And their puppies. Yeah, he probably killed puppies too, the bastard" - Cossack
"Yes, we know you hate our President, now shut the fuck up. Y'all have been whining since 2000. Too bad he's doing much better than you arrogant hippie assholes realize. Frankly, I don't think you're mentally capable of realizing that. Your whole world would collapse and you would implode, creating a dense mass of hippies emitting a stench so vile, it would make life on this planet unbearable." - Cossack
"You know, I'm sort of sad that Saddam is dead. Never again will I hear his speeches that never failed to entertain. Sometimes, I just don't want to believe that this lovable floppy-headed character from South Park is no more.
I don't think we should have killed him. I think we should take him, the information minister (who will still be insisting that the infidels have been destroyed), and Fidel and put them in some sort "dictator zoo" so we can all go there and be entertained by these hilarious dictators.
Not Arafat though. That bastard needs to die." - Cossack"You walking buffalo wing graveyard!" - Cossack, attempting to insult me
Loweeel: With stember here next year, I won't have time to make fun of you
Cossack: Thank the lord! His tits will be too big and you won't even be able to notice my Cossackity."I hear Russian FOB music turned up loud, and that's it... and the rustling of chest hair" - Byrone, on what he notices while the Cossack gets ass.
"That's funny, he doesn't look slippery..." - Reed Braman, on the Cossack