"Dude, I had this weird dream that involved you. Basically, you were this guy who conned young women into giving you their cars in the interest of "science" -- which involved monster-trucking over them." - EmD, to me
"God, I cannot wait until this semester is over and I am making $$$ like a good Jew should, as my Lord commanded me." - EmD
"I'm so happy that Germany has such high unemployment. I would love to see that country implode... and maybe invade France again." - EmD
"I'm so annoyed at all these "tikkun olam Jews". Tikkun olam means keeping track of bastards and destroying idols; it never meant loving the poor." - EmD
"I don't believe in morality. Kill 'em all and let the pagan moon god sort them out." - EmD
"I don't know who I hate more -- the actual socialists on campus, or the normal people who won't speak up because they don't want to viewed as 'right-wing extremists'" - EmD
"I hate 'Jews for Kerry'. Jesus, why don't you just cut off your balls and send them to Berlin? Motherfuckers..." - EmD
"I hope Ted Kennedy ends up driving Kerry's campaign bus" - EmD
"I hope Boston wins the next game, because then whatever happens, Boston might burn to the ground." - EmD, on the 2004 ALCS
"I mean, when you strip something until it is devoid of any sort of intellectual meaning and then proceed to redress it with some feel-good, hippy-dippy bullshit, you're going to end up with just another front for retarded leftism - and hey, your big friend in the clouds is happy with you for it! It's non-denominational, no-strings-attached Christianity without Jesus." - EmD, on Reform Judaism
"I would commute to shitty, ghetto-ass newark to clerk for [Alito,] a Scalia-prototype. And I could tell all the kids who call me 'honky' that I would throw their asses in jail for being in contempt of my awesomeness." - EmD
"If an Irish person becmes a huge alcoholic, does that really require supernatural powers?" - EmD, on "The Kennedy Curse"
"Jack Bauer is the coolest person ever! He should take on the Iraqi insurgency." - EmD
"My mom is telling me to go out with ugly girls for practice." - EmD
"Scalia is so awesome and the fact that I will never be able to come close to achieving his brilliance depresses me." - EmD
"The poor are lazy, and deserve their misery, and Cambridge is the case in point. In cambridge, they love their poor; so what do they get? Fifty crack addicts begging for a quarter so they could go to the 7-11 to buy a forty in nickels -- which I've seen three times. I have to deflect the poor with my highly refined "disinterested white boy" look so I can get from the T stop into the yard." - EmD
"Torts makes me want to suicide" - EmD
"Tylenol with codeine is like snapple with 151" - EmD
"Unconscionability is such a bullshit excuse" - EmD
"When I look at liberal Jews, sometimes I think 'Why couldn't Hitler have killed off YOUR ancestors?'" - EmD, who is going to burn in the fires of Gehenna
"When you figure out where to buy Subliminal tickets, let me know, because I am all over that like a Jew on a penny." - EmD, a Modern Orthodox Jew.
"[Working in] the judiciary is for poor people" - EmD
Loweeel: Killing Chomsky would be tikkun olam, right?
EmD: oh god yes -- I would say it's probably a mitzvahEmD: also, why is every woman on [24] a crazy fucking cunt whore bitch?
Loweeel : because it's accurate?