"People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." - Anonymous
"I won't have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent." - Anonymous"Wrestling: It's what men do during boys' basketball season" - Abercrombie & Fitch advertising campaign, Winter 1999
"I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself there." - Fred Allen
"It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims." - Aristotle
"The question isn't 'who is going to let me?' it's 'who is going to stop me?'" - Ayn Rand, The Fountainhead
"If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now." - Zaphod Beeblebrox"You are a top-notch human being" - Tyler Berry
"Let's be fair... EVERYONE wants Mr. Toad's Wild Ride" - Brodie Bruce, Mallrats
"I've got plenty of common sense. I just choose to ignore it." - Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes)
"DooD, why do you always do what's hardest? Were you just born stubborn?" - Chucklez
"You know what I like about you, [Loweeel]? You don't agree with me" - Anna Coburn
"The pain might be making him gasp for breath, but the pain didn't matter. He just felt glad to be alive, and facing another day. His familiar complaints, his cavils and his uncertainties seemed suddenly irrelevant. In their place, he discovered that he had some source of boundless energy - an almost aggressive vitality that he could not recall ever experiencing before. He felt it flowing through his body, a kind of heat. The world around him seemed more vivid, more sensuous than he could remember before." - Michael Crichton's Timeline
"No, I'm not fucking Jesus, I'm fucking Jesus!" - Elliot DeSanto
"As a redhead myself, I know full well that it has its share of disadvantages. I have to be extremely careful about the amount of time I spend in the sun, even with sunblock. Second degree sunburns can be life-threatening. Redheads are far more vulnerable to melanoma. On the other hand, I know that a couple of my girlfriends were attracted to me because of my red hair even though I'm not otherwise particularly handsome or ugly." - Steven Den Beste
"I went to camp just like, a mile from here. We had to pray. But it was Jewish camp so it was like, ok. It was the only time in my life I ever really dated Jewish girls. Like that time between the ages of 12 and 15 -- my parents were thrilled. And it all went wrong. You know what happened? Catholic girls. They don't get good until around 16 and then they turn crazy. They were pretty much a pain up until then. Real stiff... not after that." - Adam Duritz, lead singer of Counting Crows
"Trebuchet? As in olde-timey catapult? Are you going to send flaming dead horse carcasses into the middle of downtown Williamstown?" - Beth Farnstrom
AdriGash: Wow that's a first - I'm right and you're wrong
AdriGash: How does that feel?
Loweeel: Eh, even Jesus died once"Why do I have a new-found respect for [Loweeel]? Yesterday, [Loweeel] sent out a campus-wide email saying PCU would be shown on campus after the minority coalition flipped out in response to an article in the satire magazine saying that college council would be adding a "black guy" position. Having the nuts to do something like that forces me to respect him." - Dan Gittes
"One should forgive one's enemies, but not before they are hanged." - Heinrich Heine
"You're not weak. You are one of the few people alive who can actually connect with people, and who actually cares about them when you do." - Joanna Heipel
"You can represent me if I ever get in legal trouble, and I will ensure that you and your eventual hot Israeli wife will have perfect, redheaded kids." - Joanna Heipel
"You said it man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus!" - Jesus, The Big Lebowski
"MUAHAHAHAHA! My joy will penatrate your jaded soul!" - Jasmine St.John
"Yeah right... you are my one and only sexy redhead" - Lauren Jacobs
"Just looking at the bitch's ugly puss is enough to make me sick" - Dad, on Hilary Clinton
"[Loweeel] spent the summer in Boston doing his laundry at my house. In his spare time he interned at a high-tech firm and wrote some code, or programmed something, or sharpened pencils while earning beer, er, Diet Coke money." - Uncle Jeff
"Let's get serious, [Loweeel]. My fashion sense was handed down directly by Rudy [Loweeel's grandfather]... and you can't do any better than that." - Uncle Lance
"God, I love hyperbole... what would I do without it? Well, for one, I wouldn't be able to make myself sound like a jackass nearly as much..." - Loweeel
"Homework no 'love me long time' but it sure 'sucky-sucky'" - Loweeel
"I am not, nor have I ever been, most guys, most wrestlers, or most anything" - Loweeel
"I reached third on an error. On the same play, there was also a baserunning error, and a fielder's choice, to get plastered." - Loweeel, on the great game of 5.18.99
"I used to think that fresh air would do me good. But then I realized that there were rabid squirrels throwing nuts at me from the trees. Goddamn rodents." - Loweeel
"There's a fine line between genius and madness, and he was straddling the border" - Loweeel
"Yeah, but it's easy to read MY mind. Food, sex, sports... it's Maxim, basically." - Loweeel
"I'm an Asshole, and I'm proud of it..." - Denis Leary, Asshole
"I'd love to be the one to disappoint you when I don't fall down" - Limp Bizkit, Rearranged
"Good is not good enough when better is expected" - Lou Lamoriello, President and GM of the New Jersey Devils
"Success didn't spoil me; I've always been insufferable." - Fran Lebowitz
"Drinking like a juggernaut..." - Bill McGrath
"And I try to outgrow... just going through the motions" - Jimmy Newquist, Forget
"No, my life would be a game without you... I'd never be the same if you were gone..." - Jimmy Newquist, Like It or Not
"The wind has forced me to advance to where I'm standing... as I turned around it erased my tracks..." - Newquist, 61
"Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself." - Friedrich Nietzsche
"I've reached an all time low...I have to pee and I'm too lazy to walk to the bathroom..." - Aveen Nouri
"This will be a lucky week, indeed, since no one enjoys a good concussion more than you." - The Onion, Leo Horoscope, 4/25/01
"You will lose one of your oldest friends in the world when you fly into a violent rage over the sight of an incorrectly used apostrophe." - The Onion, Capricorn Horoscope, 10/24/01
"You will be told that "your appeal to reason and personal responsibility is a light that will never go out" by weirdos who've mistaken you for Ayn Rand." - The Onion, Capricorn Horoscope, 2/14/02
"Nothing in America is more American or more expressive of the American spirit than that of the little American dog, the Boston Terrier. He is so gay, so bright, so stylish! He has been in favor for more than half a century, yet the boston terrier, like America itself will always be as new as a fresh-minted silver dollar. And while a silver dollar may loose its shine - and usually does, the boston terrier has proved again and again that he loses none of his glisten, his start, is so full of genuine delights and surprises that the world is far, far better for many thousands of people because of his presence in homes throughout this land and many other lands." - Vincent G. Perry, introduction to The Boston Terrier (2nd Edition), 1941
"I mean, you have the smashing good looks, the amazing brain power, the red hair...what more could you ask for?" - Pussyplat
"You should be John Galt, and I should be Dagny, and we should meet in railway stations and have sex... but we're not. Oh well." - Pussyplat
Harris: the giant chinaman has 26 points, he's sick
Loweeel: he's obviously compensating for something
Byrone: 7 feet tall, 7 millimeters long?"I do believe there are 48 hours in a day..." - Carolyn Simnett (showing off her haircolor)
"I hate this! I have everything, except for you." - Carolyn Simnett
"I think you should see [La Femme Nikita]. You'd really like it, despite the fact that they're all French." - Carolyn Simnett
"I'm irrationally stubborn... I admit that I make no sense!" - Carolyn Simnett
"Go back to Massachusetts, pinko!" - Homer Simpson
"So you couldn't wait till we get together on thursday [to hand out the "Trebuchet Design Bible"]? Did you want to be cool by putting them in our boxes? Well, I, for one, am thoroughly impressed. [Loweeel], you rock my world." - Galen "Danger" Thorp
"If getting drunk at eleven in the fucking afternoon and eating a huge piece of meat is wrong, than I don't want to be right." - Tycho
"We had Republican sex on the first date, but didn't have Democrat sex until last night... Oh, what are they? Republican sex is what Ken Starr would call sex but Clinton denied was sex. Democrat sex is what Clinton thought constituted 'sexual relations'" - Jeanette Vanderbosch
"[Loweeel]? [Loweeel]'s so responsible he's practically a sophomore" - Coach Whalen, my freshman year
"You don't lead, because you don't expect people to follow you, but you don't follow." - Erica Wovsaniker
"I need you to hear, I need you to see
That I have had all I can take
And exploding seems like a definite possibility to me.
So pardon me while I burst... into flames.
I've had enough of the world
And its peoples mindless games.
So pardon me while I burn... and rise above the flame.
Pardon me, pardon me... i'll never be the same." - Incubus, Pardon Me"Say Loweeel be yo' mo'fuck'n' daddy!!!" - Loweeel Jackson
"Yo Loweeel, you my pops!" - Omar Nolan
"Coach, wha's wrong wif mah undawear, coach?" - Omar Nolan"You pretend it doesn't bother you... but you just want to explode..." - Metallica, Turn The Page
Krissityn: blah blah blah
Krissityn: I am Loweeel
Krissityn: I am the king of the motherfucking world