"There are men and women who make the world better just by being the kinds of people they are. They teach the truth by living it." - President James A. Garfield, class of 1856
Professors' Quotes
"You don't see many torn babies lying around" - Prof. Austin on verbs, Linguistics 101
"The special cases are perhaps more interesting than the general solution" - Prof. Jones, Physics 202 - Waves and Optics
"Well, you guys are Williams students, so this class is going to be really hard." - Prof. Dwight Whitaker, at the beginning of his first class at Williams
"Thanks for the fun battle. You wield your hammers of war and axes of battle in a way that would make even Odin the warlord proud! I can say, without hyperbole, that you are by far the best class I have ever had here at Williams." - Prof Dwight Whitaker, after the last Quantum Mechanics class of the semester
"Any European army with even adequate leadership might be as effective as a Roman legion... although it might look like a rock concert and triumph of the will... with everyone waving the lighters... there's something compelling about people moving their major muscle groups in time." - Prof. Wood
"Historians like dates; dates make them feel comfortable." - Prof. Wood
"How could I have office hours with all these students? I couldn't watch as much television." - Prof. Wood
"I know I would have been a little worried if I'd been in the middle of Germany, in the middle of a forest, and I set it on fire. " - Prof. Wood, on Gladiator
"I'm not in any way attempting to identify Williams College Athletes with Prussians; don't get me wrong." - Prof. Wood, on the success of the Prussian Military and Williams College winning the Sears Cup
"Part of [Philip II's] Grand Strategy was to rely on miracles." - Prof. Wood
"They were probably drunk... it's like the rugby team. " - Prof. Wood, on hoplite warfare
"Twenty-five billion pounds of state debt: it makes our current leadership look absolutely cheap." - Prof. Wood, on Louis XIV
"I think Einstein would have liked a Pooh balloon on his birthday" - Prof. Wooters, Physics 142
Students' Quotes
"Drunk! A fellow in college, and in our class drunk! Why, I did not know that anyone in college ever was drunk." - A Freshman at Williams, circa 1850
"I had to quit cross-country. It was interfering with weed season." - Alexander M. Greene '03, MIA
"Damn minorities, acting like they belong..." - Juan Carlos Ramos '04
"Don't ask me what that is... I didn't know Mexicans made steak." - Juan Carlos Ramos '04, on the concept of a "Mexican Steak Sandwich"
"The racks... it's all about the racks." - Juan Carlos Ramos, on why he likes Jewish girls.
"What a beautiful night. If I were half the Williams student i ought to be, I would get out my skimpiest pair of shorts, slip on my flip flops, and study under the stars with a healthy basket of granola bars - all in the company of my FAVORITE W.O.C. / WUFO friends! come, join me! Oh wait, never mind... that was a big IF..." - Juan Carlos Ramos, aka "AngrY"
[Loweeel]: Math (Linear Algebra) was fucking easy.
Carlos: Oh, the exam? Yeah, I jizzed all over it."She'd look a lot better with cum on her face" - Carlos (Juan Carlos Ramos, then '03, now '04)
"I am a dreadfully foolish girl" - Emily C. Clinch '04
"Broomball is a non-contact (except accidental) IM sport sort of like hockey, except no one gets hurt, no skates are involved, and everyone has more fun." - S. Charles Doret '02, blatantly lying about the "nobody gets hurt" part
"Physics Broomball! Even more fun than Fourier Transforms!" - S. Charles Doret, not saying much
"Justin, don't spill your seed on the floor!" - Matthew Grunwald '03
"I can't see how it makes a difference if I sleep in my room or in bsc105" - Meredith W. Jacob, '03
"I'm a redneck... you mean 'gonna' ain't a word?" - Parrish
"What the fuck is wrong with that kid?" - Peter Deutch on Rory Kramer
"Reading 'Div, Grad, Curl and All That' - Let me tell you, it is NOT all that." - Diane C. Bennett '03, on the supplemental text for E&M
"Everybody gets a birthday on their blowjob!" - Phil (Phillip Michael Dimon '03)
"Let's go, soldiers!" - Drunken Confederate General Phil M. Dimon
"You shut the fuck up… Jersey Boy! Get the fuck out of here… we don't need no… no… no… JERSEY BOY!" - Phil
"I'm so Greek I refuse to even practice the turk (a wrestling move)" - "Fat Tony" (Antonios Bletsis '04)
"...[A]ll these artsy-fartsy, pseudo-intellectual, save-the-world types think they would be doing the country good by forcing us all to pay for what they think would help out those in need, the environment, etc. Hypocrites. There are better ways to take care of society's problems, and they don't involve the intervention of the big guys in charge, nor taking pennies (or $100 bills) out of the pockets of hard-working individuals. Some people just don't think much farther beyond their emotional inklings, and it disgusts me." - Laura A McMillian '02
"Dude, I'm a Negro. Negros need moisturizer." - Jukes (Kenneth U Ojukwu '01)
"I'm the Rip! I'm the FUCKING RIP!!!" - The Rip (Christopher B. Ripley '01)
"Finals are a good excuse to eat crap, sleep odd hours, wear the same thing for a week, find out the true degree to which your friends are slackers, and remind yourself how small your brain really is. " - Liz Campos '03
"Dood, you need to get really drunk. Nothing bad is going to happen, so you have nothing to worry about. I have no problem with you waking up in a gutter somewhere, or in some random girl's bed. You're not going to be able to drink so much that it would kill you - I mean, I'd miss you if you were gone. Well, I wouldn't miss you calling me Chucklez, but I'd still miss you." - Chucklez
"[Loweeel], pouring out a beer is a moral sin." - Chucklez (Charles W. Danhof '03)
"I see you... you have red hair!" - very very very drunk Chucklez
"If you wish to be happy for an hour, get intoxicated. If you wish to be happy for three days, get married. If you wish to be happy for eight days, kill your pig and eat it. If you wish to be happy forever, beat Amherst." - Renzi Lamb
"Estrogen only gets in the way of linear thinking." - Laura A. McMillian '02
"I just wanted to thank you for the brutal honesty of our relationship. It's refreshing. I know you understand." - Jennifer Lyn Roizen '03
"Who's getting that lab desk, us or you?" - Eric Schofeld '03
"I'll fight you for it!" - [Loweeel]
"That's not fair! Your sport IS fighting!" - Eric"This thing is so blown out of proportion that at this point, I am amazed some of you can function on a daily basis without adult diapers since you obviously void your bowels in shock with an ease that is beyond anyone else I personally know - regardless of their race/religion/perversity." - Eric Smith '99
"Tell me now, male-version-of-a-wench!" - Davy (Davis V. Stevenson '04)
"I like girls who smoke... I mean, it just means that they're not too picky about what they put in their mouths" - Shtooo (Stuart M. Warshawer '03)
"I gotta pee. I need a bush, a Busch, and a bush." - Justin "The Wus" Dittrich '03 on a Saturday night.
"Girls love me... I mean, I'm not bad looking and I hardly wear underwear." - Augustine "Gus" Whyte '03
"He's not a player he... just... is not a player!" - Zach
"I rely on reason, therefore no irrational numbers are real" - Zach
"Or you should just be like, "Why don't you fucking blow me and help me lose weight that way?"" - Zach
"Our lives are a nightmare of being bludgeoned [to death] with said instrument (Purcell) by Weber" - Zach
"Well, I need to go to bed now. Maybe I'll sleep off what little sobriety Ihave left and wake up even drunker." - Galen Thorp '04
"What, is he like faggot shopping or something?" - "Stupid Whore", on Mauricio's manwhorishness
"It's finals week, but my raging alcoholism has fully taken over my life. IF I get back, I'm still screwed." - Ziti
"Joe, you wish you were a bee... CUP!"- Ziti, to "Mighty" Joe.
"We'll talk over email, my ass is hurting." - Ziti
Ziti: I really like Marx, actually
Loweeel: Of course you do, you're a Democrat