Okay, it's just vaguely within the realm of plausibility that some of you psychotics might actually want to run a Munchkins campaign. However, it's far more likely that you're just bored as hell and decided to read this section for kicks. Playing to the larger audience, then, don't expect too much serious advice out of this chapter.

The most important thing to do with any campaign, as everyone knows, is to tie it to Joseph Campbell's monomyth. If you don't know what the monomyth is, don't worry, the author doesn't either, but has found that all you need to do is mention it, and everyone around you will nod and look wise.

The next thing to do is establish an overarching theme, plot, or conflict to your campaign. However, "theme" sounds a bit pretentious for a game about 2" tall TV-obsessed sociopaths, and "plot" sounds far too much like you'd actually have to do some planning, so we'll focus on "conflict." As you'll recall from 8th grade, there are five basic conflicts: Munchkin vs. Man, Munchkin vs. Nature, and three other ones.

Munchkin vs. Nature obviously means that your campaign should be a deeply spiritual journey for the PC's against the most fundamental law of Munchkin nature -- their obstinant belief in the divine nature of the Great Glowy Box. As a Munchkin leaves the golden mid-morning of endless, violent preadolesence, their adulthood will be marked by pathos, rejection, and anger before finally coming to self-realization and the understanding that the GGB is merely a crutch for the Munchkin. Properly done, a campaign of Munchkin versus Nature can transcend the limitations of a transparantly idiotic humour-based RPG and become an allegory for human existance. In short, it becomes Art.

Munchkin vs. Man is where your PC's struggle fruitlessly to kill the humans who have the odds stacked entirely in their favour (what with being bigger, smarter, and generally all-'round more competent). A major chapter of this campaign style is closed with each PC you kill, and its ending is, happily, both natural and easy to spot.

The author hasn't the faintest idea what kind of campaign those readers who aren't coming at Munchkins from a World of Darkness background would like. But he suspects it has something to do with an experience table. So here you go:

Raising a stat costs a number of Munchkin Points (MP's) dependent on the rank to which you are raising, as follows:

Stats can not be raised above Great.

We suggest giving out 1 MP to the best player of each session.

Doing the math, it should become immediately apparent that you'll manage to raise a stat only some decades after everyone in the group is completely past whatever amusement value the game once provided. Those of you who are complaining are missing the bloody point: IT'S A GAME ABOUT TWO INCH TALL MUNCHKINS, DAMMIT! THERE IS NO CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!