It has been said that the brain is the body's biggest and best sex organ. Fortunately, it does a lot more than that. Unfortunately, neither of the above statements are true for some people in the general public. Regardless, what follows is something like a tour of some of the tracks my brain follows on occassion. Pardon the mess, it's stream of consciousness, after all.

My Keirsey temperament type is INFJ, though I actually fall very near INTJ, as well.

Self definition is fun.

I tend not to get too homesick for good ol' Jackson Hole, though some days it hits me and I miss it a lot. The first few months away were, naturally, when I felt that the most, and I wrote this poem my first semester at Williams, and which, amazingly enough, I still like.

Life being what it is, I do a lot of wondering about what my future will look like. I don't visualize specific images very often, largely because I'm still figuring out what I want. When I was younger, though, I had a pretty clear idea. I'm having fun trying different things out these days, and I hope that will always be the case.

My philosophies on how to move through the world and the question of "what is real" sometimes conflict. A lot. To a degree similar to that Rebecca West indicates in this piece. Generally, I try to live as best I can, without disregarding others, and without paralyzing myself with hesitations. I try to learn and not regret, to risk, but not foolishly. Happiness is a worthy guiding principle. I'm frequently independent-minded in my relationships.

To attempt to put it succinctly, I think life is terminal, but that it doesn't need transcendental or devine or immortal qualities to make it worth living, doing good in the world, and being a good citizen of the earth. I like what I like, and I try to strike a balance between making myself happy without centering all I do on selfish pleasures. My vision of the world is as a net of strands and spaces, of which I am part.

As part of that, I try to make the people in my life a priority. Knowing what they do for me, and how rich my life is due to their influence, I hope I may do the same for them. Simultaneously, I aim to strike a balance, so that my life remains my own, and my identity does not blur into that of others. Again, strands of together time shaped by the spaces of time with myself describe the goal. Love is a big part of that, but don't ask me to define love! And then there's the whole question of marriage -- messy, messy :)

In a sense, I see people as the meaning of life. Roberto Juarroz captures a part of that, and I've had some thoughts on it, too. It's all about learning.

Sometimes, I'm very internal.

I try to think of myself as beautiful, not to be conceited, but to be happy, because beauty is subjective, and we all should be allowed to see ourselves as beautiful, attractive and worthy.

And why not?

I really enjoy bumper stickery slogans

Read between the lines some more.

© 1999 Rosa Carson