Cookies are good. I think this an a priori truth, so I won't bother presenting evidence for my claim. Instead, I'll just say that it's because cookies are good that I wanted some. (perhaps another such truth, but worth noting) And I used to bake things, so I decided to bake some.

    Now, most of you know that I cook by the "bucket of food" theory of cooking, wherein ingredients are blindly tossed in at random with the hopes that Culinarius, God of Food, will bless the conglomeration and create a tasty result. However, last time I made breadstuffs, it was a yeastless bread that tasted like a thick doughy matzoh with less flavor.

    This time, I decided to use a recipe. Much as it went against my nature, I realized that I wanted cookies and I didn't want any mistakes, so I would do things by the book. The book was "The Joy of Cooking", so I opened up to the page 709 and looked at the recipe for peanut butter cookies.

    Now, it doesn't change the recipe at all to double the portions, but I wanted some cookies for tonight, some to bring to work, and some for game group, so I decided to mix a double batch. This meant starting with two sticks (1 cup) of butter instead of one (1/2 cup). This was measured flawlessly and with great ease.

    The next ingredient was 2 cups of sugar, but I suddenly realized that we were very low on sugar and had maybe half a cup at best. I dumped all the sugar into a measuring cup, and then looked around for something else sweet. The best I could come up with was sweetened coconut shreds, so I filled the rest of the measuring cup with them until it totalled 2 cups. I added the 2 eggs as required.

    Now it was time to add 2 cups of peanut butter. I really didn't want to fill the measuring cup with peanut butter so I thought I'd just measure outside the cup. I had an unopened jar that purported to be 32 teaspoons (or tablespoons, I forget which), and given the English system, it seemed a reasonable guess that such was equivalent to 2 cups. We threw that whole jar in, along with the bit remaining in the open jar (probably another few tablespoons).

    Then it was time for auxilliary ingredients. 1 teaspoon vanilla- I didn't want to dirty a teaspoon, so I used a capfull. It didn't seem like much, so I added another capfull. Then I added a half cap of almond extract for good measure. I took the recipe's advice and added a teaspoon of baking soda (or powder, they seem the same). The teaspoon of salt I deemed unnecessary due to the peanut butter. It still seemed too stiff though, so I added another egg.

    Finally, the flour. We had a bowl of oats sitting on our counter with just a bit left, so I tossed that in. Then I carefully measured out somewhere between 2 and 3 cups (hard to read those things) of flour and added it in. Using my trusty stirring technique ("Tom, please help stir this!"), the cookies were readied for baking.

    I lamented the fact that despite my good intentions, I had strayed far from the recipe. Still, I knew enough to use the ancient peanut butter cookie technique of the criss-cross fork-top pattern. I put them in the oven at 375 and waited 15 minutes. They weren't near done, so I waited another 15 minutes. 30 minutes. I switched racks to see if that would help. 45 minutes. The cookies were still doughy, and it suddenly occurred to me that my hand should not be comfortable if it was in the oven. Sure enough, our oven was broken.

    Anyway, long story shorter, we switched to the auxilliary oven and ended up with some very crumbly peanut butter coconut cookies, a fine snack for one in the morning. Notice how I completely resisted the urge to make a "that's the way the cookie crumbles" joke? That's willpower.