So, last week I was listening to a great little rap piece called Alphabet Aerobics by a group called Blackalicious. Tom had played it for me a while ago, but now that I have a new computer, I thought I'd get my own copy. After listening to it again, I was so impressed that I decided to go download some other stuff by them.Well, in addition to a few of their more traditional songs, I found a wonderful mp3 of them impromptu freestyling about eating on the road. It reminded me a lot of how I sound when I'm making up songs or rhymes while cooking dinner. In fact, I've always wanted to be a rapper, and my father has been telling me to apply for more jobs lately, so I went to their website and decided to apply to be a rapper:
Date: Fri, 14 Mar 2003 00:16:02 -0500 (EST)
From: Seth Brown
To: management@blackalicious.com
Subject: Application for Blackalicious
Dear Blackalicious,
After hearing your impressive Alphabet Aerobics, I downloaded some more of your mp3s illegally, and would be eager for the opportunity to join your group. In addition to my background in rhyming, I have a rapping hamster and a cup that says "The Hip Hop Generation" (by Bikari Kitwana). Lastly, I know how to keep my ego in check.
Thank you for your consideration.
Regards,
Seth Brown
[resume attached]The cup I had from a promotion at the bookstore, and the hamster was a gift from the friend who first told me about the Style Invitational, in honor of my winning the first time I entered. I was pleased to receive a response from Blackalicious the next day:
Date: Fri, 14 Mar 2003 10:41:58 -0800
From: Blackalicious Mgmt. (management@blackalicious.com)
To: Seth Brown
Subject: Re: Application for Blackalicious
Seth
Thank you for your interest please send a picture of the hamster for further consideration,
P.S
Can he spell that would be a major factor in this decision
Blackalicious
Luckily, Tom has a digital camera, so we took a glamour shot of the hamster. I decided that the rapping hamster needed a rap to maintain his street cred, so I wrote one while dubbing him "Ham-STAR". This in turn made me decide that the photo needed a logo, for which I once again was thankful to have Tom's skills at my disposal. I sent the final results to Blackalicious:
Date: Fri, 14 Mar 2003 20:47:59 -0500 (EST)
From: Seth Brown
To: Blackalicious Mgmt. (management@blackalicious.com)
Subject: Re: Application for Blackalicious
Parts/Attachments:
1 Shown 76 lines Text
2 52 KB Image
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Dear Blackalicious,
As per your request, I have enclosed a photo of Ham-STAR. He has asked that I share his most recent rap with you, and knows that you will appreciate it. This should also serve as proof that he can spell.
Regards,
Seth
**************
Ham-STAR in the house
Ham-STAR in the house
Yo, I'm keepin' it real
As I run with no wheel
And don't no other hamsters know the way I feel.
I used to run around my cage with the wood chips underneath,
And the big ones I would use just to sharpen my teeth,
Not that I needed to enhance my dental weaponry,
Because I played it cool and didn't have any enemies.
But I'd use my little choppers to attack the water bottle,
And my fur would get mottled
When the water came out,
So I'd run full throttle
For the opposite side of the cage,
Enraged at the water spout.
Now one day when I was picked up in a hand,
I could see the larger land,
From which I had been encaged and banned.
So I had to take a stand,
And I bit the hand that fed me,
Bit the hand that led me
Out of my cage. He bled, he
Gave a shout
But I had gotten out
And that is what my story is about.
Now of course,
I feel some remorse, yeah,
And biting hands is not a trend that I would endorse,
But freedom is a right that hamsters have to enforce,
So when you're stuck and out of luck you use your buck teeth.
And now I'm free and so you'll see me down on E street.
Now where I live there's no one giving me the sweet treats,
But it's still better than the fetters of encaged feet.
So when you're in the situation of enforced incarceration
And you see an opportunity to flee your fettered station
Then Ham-STAR's recommendation is to pack up and go,
And if you can't pack, jack, don't look back, just go, yo,
'Cause while the food and wheel might be nice, you just don't need 'em,
And shouldn't nothing come between a hamster and his freedom.
Ham-STAR out.
*********************
So, I haven't heard back from them yet, but I'm trying to stay hopeful. If they do write back again, I'll be sure to let you know (presuming you check my website occasionally).