So, stone is pretty sturdy. If you were a little piggy, and had to build a house out of straw or stone, you'd probably choose stone, unless your sole purpose in life was to serve as a plot device. My house, though mostly made non-stone materials, has a stone foundation. Unfortunately, the mortar in said stone foundation was apparently very old, and my basement was even a bit drafty, so I decided I needed a mason to fix it.

    Naturally, I looked in the online yellow pages under masonry, finding categories for both masons and masonry/foundation repair. I made a list of all local numbers, and began calling. The first mason place I reached said that they didn't do masonry, which surprised me a little. The second place I called said they ony did tiny walls for gardens, not real foundation masonry. So I called four of the masonry/foundation repair places, and the two that were in both said they didn't do the kind of masonry I needed. Finally, one fellow said that although he didn't do what I needed either, he had the number of two places who might. One was a number I'd already tried and got no answer, so I called the other.

    A fellow picked up on the end of the other line and I asked if I had reached someone who did masonry. He immediately said, "Who is this?" I said that I was Seth, but that wasn't good enough for him, because he soon asked again, "Who is this? How did you get this number?" I wondered if I had stumbled upon a secret mason* society. Actually, the fellow just has an unlisted number and only works on referrals, eschewing things like advertising or most other normal trappings of commerce.

    I made an appointment, and he came over to look at the house. This consisted largely of walking around the outside and literally ripping out mortar from the foundation currently installed. Bizarrely, this combined with his unlisted number gave me faith that he would do a good job. He listed some of his past projects, confided in me that his father would roll over in his grave if he saw some of the jobs that other people do, and repeatedly told me that I clearly had an analytical mind which would allow me to comprehend his billing process.

    After having now paid most of the bill, with about half of the work done, I can say that this is what I've comprehended: He filled most of the cracks in my basement with new mortar to keep them nice and sturdy, and I pay him ridiculously large amounts of money. There may be other things that have happened in the past few weeks, but this is what occupies my mind. Also, must complete the writing I promised my sister to have done by her Batmitzvah, and eventually, begin work on the soon-to-be-needed website.