A recent archaeological discovery has confirmed what has long been suspected -- Purim was originally part of another holiday. As you may know, the full name of Yom Kippur is Yom Kippurim-- thus pointing to a similarity between the two holidays. Well, similarity is just the beginning. A tablet has recently been found which proves that these two holidays were originally one larger holiday, created not in celebration of victory, but to help achieve it. The story that has been unearthed is as follows:
The holiday began during the reign of the tyrant King Achashverosh. The Jews needed a way to fight back against the oppression, but were completely devoid of weapons. What's more, any attempt to arm the populace would have aroused the suspicion of the authorities. So the Jews, being clever, decided to work with the materials at hand. They baked three-pointed throwing stars which could be used to fight for their freedom, and disguised them as pastry by putting fillings of prune and poppy seed in the middle.
When the king demanded that everyone bow down to him, Mordecai refused. He sang a quick prayer to God under his breath, and then threw a pointy pastry at Haman's head. This was the birth of the Hummin'-Tossin'. Seeing the efficacy of this weapon, Mordecai hoped to arm the populace with Hummin'-Tossin'. However, the people had developed an appetite for the pastries. In order to prevent them from eating the ammunition, Mordecai declared that there would be a day of fasting. Thus equipped, Mordecai's people managed to defeat Haman's forces.
Today, of course, Yom Kippurim has split into two distinct holidays-- Yom Kippur and Purim. The discovery of this Yom Kippurim account will dispel the spurious theories previously held about the origin of Hamentaschen. If cookies were ever going to be made to mock someone's ears or hat, we'd already have W-afers and Osamallows.
Meanwhile, Rabbinical councils are still discussing whether to continue fasting on Yom Kippur.