We all have fallen victim to the modern major media,
It's information more disgusting, slimier, and sleazier.
The media of old upheld social responsibility,
But nowadays it seems those thoughts have simply reached futility.
It's true that many world events today can be quite horrible,
And somehow we still find that all these horrors are ignorable.
We do not like to hear about the serious issues that we face
Instead, we'd rather listen to the soundbites that are commonplace.

Instead, we'd rather listen to the soundbites that are commonplace.
Instead, we'd rather listen to the soundbites that are commonplace.
Instead, we'd rather listen to the soundbites that are commonplace.

We can declare a war and bomb a country that is far away
But news of Clinton's latest scandal still takes the front page that day
We'd rather hear of Interngate than real news much meatier
Because we're sickly fascinated by the modern media.

We'd rather hear of Interngate than real news much meatier
Because we're sickly fascinated by the modern media.

The key to modern media is getting out-of-context quotes
And utterances famous people wish had never left their throats.
Judicious use of cutting and ellipses in an interview
Can let a sly reporter make you say things you did not want to
And if those techniques won't suffice, there's so much further you can go
Just interview folks who do not exist, don't fret, they'll never know
Create a sympathetic character with a terminal disease
Or just pretend an unnamed source disclosed secrets from embassies.

Or just pretend an unnamed source disclosed secrets from embassies.
Or just pretend an unnamed source disclosed secrets from embassies.
Or just pretend an unnamed source disclosed secrets from embassies.

The few like Glass and Barnacle were caught, but many more remain
The writers and reporters of today we simply can't explain.
For truth is insufficient when a fiction can be seedier,
And that is why they fabricate to make the modern media.

For truth is insufficient when a fiction can be seedier,
And that is why they fabricate to make the modern media.

Yet still, on some occasions, journalism of the upright sort
Can find serious issues to fairly and accurately report.
Although the freedom of the press is something easy to abuse
There are those few who take quite earnestly their role to shape the news.
Woodward and Bernstein checked their sources much before they went to print
And others don't accuse of guilt a person who is innocent
Responsible reporting these days almost comes as a surprise
So for a great achievement we award them the Pulitzer Prize.

So for a great achievement we award them the Pulitzer Prize.
So for a great achievement we award them the Pulitzer Prize.
So for a great achievement we award them the Pulitzer Prize.

The gory allegories in news stories are the rage these days
But haste to seek more taste can sometimes grace the printed page displays
In demanding news of substance we must learn to be much greedier
Or otherwise we'll never change the modern major media.

In demanding news of substance we must learn to be much greedier
Or otherwise we'll never change the modern major media!