I am an American. And as an American, I was raised on the English system of measurement, and taught that the metric system was some strange concoction that other countries used. Of course, looking at it now, the metric system seems more rational and our own system seems more strange. Metric measurements are all based on tens in order to make calculations easy, and the name of each increment is a prefix added to the base (viz. meter, milimeter, kilometer).

    The English system, on the other hand, was designed to confound the average Joe by use of a myriad of names and numbers. Inches, feet, quarts, gallons, 12, 3, 4, 5280, etc. Why do we continue to use this system? Tradition! It's what we grew up with, and we aren't about to change. But for a nation founded on revolution, why remain under the foot of an English king? Let these unwieldy numbers be replaced by a system of tens, and perhaps one day even our system of time (60, 60, 24, 7, 52) will be overtaken by a less messy metric equivalent.

    However, this is obviously going too far for now. America runs on pounds and miles per hour, and will probably continue to do so well into the next milennium. Seeing as this is the case, and a system of measurement founded on whim will remain dominant, allow me to suggest an addition. The current system of length measurement runs from inches to feet to yards to miles. Yet somehow the mile is not large enough for all the measurements we need to make. A new unit of length is needed to place at the end of this progression. I humbly present: The RhodeIsland.

    Let's face it, newscasters already use this unit of measurement all the time. Other states are described in terms of how many RhodeIslands large they are. Martian craters are reported to be 43 times the size of Rhode Island. We have practically accepted it into our national speech already, it remains only to make it official. Then when large ocean movements occur and meteorites fly through space, we will no longer be constrained to the insignificant mile. We shall give a more vivid picture of measurement with our own state. And even tired old aphorisms will become revitalized: "Do not judge another man until you have walked a RhodeIsland in his shoes." More insightful words have never been spoken.