In a capitalistic economy,
We all strive for financial autonomy.
  Everyone does their best
  To carefully invest
And end up as rich as they want to be.

It seems simple enough at first glance,
But there are many things that enhance
  All the problems one faces,
  And in many cases
It ends up as a matter of chance.

The stock market looks fun to try,
The trick is to buy low and sell high.
  But we get many scares
  When the bulls turn to bears
And we wave our investments bye-bye.

The experts just chat on their phones,
Speaking of NASDAQ, NYSE, and Dow Jones.
  Is the advice they sell
  Strategies that work well
Or do they just roll knuckle bones?

One wonders just what qualifies
All these money gurus to advise.
  They'd be rich and retired
  If the plans that they sired
Made cash, but the truth's otherwise.

So the market continues to fluctuate,
And nobody knows what will eventuate.
  We'll take money and bet it
  On a system of credit
Hoping that the whole thing doesn't detonate.

Even if the market leaves you reeling,
The alternatives aren't too appealing.
  Since the interest rates sank,
  Saving cash in a bank
Ends up leaving your money congealing.

It is hard to keep up with inflation
In such a low payout situation.
  You begin losing dough
  When the rates are so low
Just by savings bank participation.

Then what is the correct thing to do
If you want your balance to accrue?
  Stocks are risky endeavors
  Yet the banks are too clever
To pay you for your funds when they're through.

So take some advice from this poem
If you don't want your money to roam.
  Avoid all of the banks,
  Tell the brokers no thanks,
Keep your cash in your mattress at home.