'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the state
Many people were stirring amidst much debate.
A flurry of issues had caught us by storm
Including an incident at Bryant's dorm.

Some football team players had gone to a frat
Causing problems and trouble and bad stuff like that.
There were injuries hurting eyes, fingers, and backs
When pledges found themselves the targets of sacks.

This wanton violence seems to have no good reason
But often occurs near the holiday season.
Last year a similar mishap took place
Football fought frats to URI's disgrace.

Although speaking of football events from last year
We were trying to entice the Patriots here.
Now the Patriots saga has come to an end
Since Connecticut showed itself willing to spend.

The legislature, after little time talking
Put a few hundred million in Kraft's Christmas stocking.
A stadium, and more, was all part of this scheme;
Folks will do anything for an NFL team.

So we didn't end up with the Pats in RI,
Although Cianci did give it his best try.
However, we should give credit where it's due
Cianci got some of his other plans through.

At this time last year, he'd just started to think
That Providence needed an ice skating rink.
And now you can go to the plaza and skate;
The downtown renaissance has worked really great.

The mall is in progress, and we may soon see
A sign out front for the Cheesecake Factory.
Meanwhile, while we celebrate new ways to dine,
Bristol County installed their new water pipeline.

People in East Bay weren't getting clean drinking water
And still don't feel that things now run as they oughtta.
But all these predicaments pale when compared
To the national issues which have Clinton scared.

We're now bombing Iraq, for failing to comply
With the weapons guidelines we have tried to apply
And it's true that nuclear weapons pose a big threat
But some people think that we shouldn't have bombed yet.

There's a heavy suspicion that Bill bombed the base
Just to draw attention from the Lewinsky case.
Impeachment proceedings in the house await
And we know morally that Clinton's not great.

But shouldn't we focus on foreign affairs
Instead of those which involve girls with big hair?
When even Russia asks for Monica's aid
We know that some national goof has been made.

So let us concentrate on important events
And hope that Santa brings us all common sense.