While at college, I wrote a humor column for the campus paper, entitled "My world is almost normal..." Apologies are in order to my professors, since I spent much more time writing these articles than I did writing their papers.

• "We're All Going To Die, So Lighten Up" - My farewell column.
  
  
• "A Midsummer Night's Computer Nightmare" - Lo, thou canst view my struggles with mine audio project in yon Shakespearean parody!
  
  
• "Procrastinate Tomorrow" - Only the power of cookies can save us.
  
  
• "Save the Earth, Kill the Cows" - George W. Bush isn't the only slab of beef destroying our environment...
  
  
• "You, Your Health, and...uh... You" - The human body has lots of arteries. We can't possibly need all of them.
  
  
• "Athletes Aren't Stupid, But That One Is" - The dumb jock stereotype rears its head once again. Sure, I know some dumb jocks, but I also know some damned smart ones.
  
  
• "Honesty: The Best Policy?" - This column made someone I like very much very mad at me. Perhaps more proof that sometimes it's better to lie low.
  
  
• "Good Intentions" - Constantly paving the road to Hell. Whose dumb ashphalt is this?
  
  
• "The Pray's The Thing" - Ever wonder why God won't answer your prayers? He's got good reasons...
  
  
• "Emergency Valentine's Day Kit!" - Sure, the pressure's off now, but when this was published, it may very well have saved some relationships.
  
  
• "Studying Winter in Winter Study" - If you didn't go to Williams, this column probably won't amuse you. Sorry.
  
  
• "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service" - The agony of de feet.
  
  
• "Final Revenge" - You're suffering through final exams again? Perhaps it's time to start sharing the fun with your professors...
  
  
• "Staying in Touch is Relative" - It's easy to ignore your family while at college. And then easy for them to ignore you when you want a favor.
  
  
• "The Lesser of Five Evils" - In the 2000 elections, the only candidates worth voting for were write-ins.
  
  
• "We'd rather pay NOT to go to class" - Why is it that after spending $30,000 a year for the privilege of being at an elite college, everyone would rather stay in their elite beds than go listen to their elite professors?
  
  
• "Pomp and Circumstance" - Ah, the beginning of senior year. When the joy of graduation seemed inevitable, and the problems of graduating seemed evitable.
  
  
• "Course Selection Advice for First-Year Students" - This article is thankfully less boring than the title.
  
  
• "It's the Finals Countdown" - After a while, all those exams start to look the same...
  
  
• "Ed McMahon's Housing Lottery" - This column ended up not appearing, because I had written a big letter to the editor the same week, and apparently fame is strictly limited to 15-minute chunks.
  
  
• "Stupidity and Our Government" - When I was selected for jury duty, I thought our government had reached a pinnacle of stupidity. Boy, was I wrong.
  
  
• "Seeking Summer Jobs: Too Much Like Dating" - The process is practically identical, and in my case, so is the resulting failure.
  
  
• "It's Metric Time!" - Kilograms? Centimeters? Child's play. Let's try really converting to the metric system.
  
  
• "There's No Business Like Snow Business" - The Eskimos have over 30 different words for snow. We NEED to close the gap.
  
  
• "On Surviving Valentine's Day" - Okay, it was one of my first columns, and maybe I was a little bitter about being alone even in the promised land of college.

      If you think I'm just making all of this up, you could try looking for a few of my Record articles on their website by going to advanced search and entering Seth Brown into the author search box. Of course, their archives aren't nearly as complete as mine.

• "Millenium As Chalupa" - Taco Bell's new tasty treat, like the millenium, wasn't as good as it looked.
  
  
• "Apathetic Elections" - Let's hear it for apathy! One, two,....eh, not worth it.
  
  
• "Why One Mad Cow Member (still) thinks Nelson Hioe Is Not Funny" - A satirical response to a Record article (printed the previous week) calling for the de-fundification of the Mad Cow.
  
  
• "When It Comes, Good Comedy Comes in Threes" - My review of a few stand-up comedians I saw at an on-campus comedy show. Someone wrote a letter to the editor complaining that she was offended by one of the jokes. I replied with my own letter, even though it meant that my column that week didn't see print.
  

• I also wrote some serious pieces.