| 309 | Harry "Snapper" Organs |
| 306 | There Can Be No Dialogue with Fungus |
| 298 | Something Strange is Afoot at the Circle K |
| 275 | Phasers on Stun |
| 248 | Call the Rugsuckers |
| 187 | Mel Gibson, Dream Gynecologist |
| 181 | The Manhattan Skyliners |
| 175 | Giselle's Stud-Muffins (*top freshman team) |
| 168 | Satan's Puppies |
| 164 | Poor Bastard |
| 98 | Alex Rossi's Passed Out |
| 91 | The Jim Wright Book of the Month Club |
| 89 | He's Banging a Pogo Stick |
| 77 | It's Gonna Suck If It Rains Tomorrow |
| 77 | You Know, I Really Like Beer |
| 38 | Ho's Gotta Eat Too |
| 19 | A Science Geek Pulling an All-Nighter in Chem Building |
| 19 | Naked Tunisian Sock Merchant |
| 12 | Nachos |
| 11 | Sage E and Clash |
| 7, 8, 9, or10 | Ted Benson is Not Dead, He's Just Resting |
| 6 | White Sepulchre |
| 6 | Bleeding Rectal Orifice |
| 6 | Bill Wants to Play Too |
| 5 | Danger's Big Butt |
| 4 | The Stud Monkeys |
| 3 | Travelling Mulligans |
| 2 | Raging Sociopath |
| 2 | Dead Men Don't Buy Dog Food |
| 2 | Send More Cops |
| 2 | A Judo A Chop Chop |
| 1 | 1, 2, 3, I Think You're Right |
| 0 | Girls from Morland Street Also Think Bon Jovi is Hot |
Everybody's favorite team, Phasers on Stun, were their reliable selves, grabbing 4th place from the onset and never letting go. Similarly, Call the Rugsuckers ran a wire-to-wire 5th, exhibiting all the signs of a good team that was simply outgunned by superior numbers.
The third-place team, Something Strange is Afoot at the Circle K, started very strongly. Two hours into the contest, they were still in a near-tie for first place. But a weak 4 score on Comic Books (bonus #3) sorely hurt them. The points they lost there comprised more than a third of their ultimate deficit. From that point, Circle K spent the rest of the contest glacially losing one point an hour.... but were still a powerhouse for a third-place team. Their 298 total would have won many a contest.
Still, the focus was on the great faceoff between the two top teams, Harry "Snapper" Organs and There Can Be No Dialogue with Fungus. The closeness of their battle was perhaps mirrored by their communal origins.
Harry "Snapper" Organs was the 1989 incarnation of the "Python team" that had won three times in the previous five years. After spending the early '80s scattered amongst 3 or 4 different teams, the core members had joined forces in Spring 1984 as the behemoth Rule Six, thereby establishing their "Python" identity. A team that big couldn't last, though. By December, 1984, they'd lost a bunch of members, but added a few new ones. Playing out of Currier Ballroom with several reinforcements, this Python-heavy amalgam took the crown again, as Nasty Big Pointed Teeth.
After running the contest in May, the senior Python contingent had largely graduated. Spinning off as their own separate alumni squad, they continued to be one of the top teams. However, the undergrad contingent of Nasty Teeth remained intact, and continued playing in Currier Ballroom. And over the next five semesters, they would finish in second place three times, while winning once (in '86, as We Begin Bombing in Five Minutes). Known prosaically as "the Currier Ballroom team," they were There Can Be No Dialogue with Fungus this time.
After the Big Nasty Pointed Teeth conglomeration with Currier splintered in two, the newly unattached Pythons dipped to 3rd place in Winter 1985 (as mentioned, the undergrads took 2nd). But the Pythonfolk eked out a Spring 1986 victory as Giant Pygmies of Beckles, edging the Ballroom crew by a slender 1-point margin-- the tightest non-overtime contest ever.
Not very surprisingly, the Currier team (as We Begin Bombing) won the Pygmies contest. The Bombing win was the legendary "Tonga" 1/15th-of-1-point win, THE tightest contest ever. The team Currier/Bombing beat? All the Sugar, Twice the Caffeine... who would grow up quickly to become "The Evil Empire," and hosts of this Spring '89 contest (as Take the Cannolis). As we can see, Trivia is not so much a snake eating its own tail, as it is a writhing pit of Medusas, all gobbling down as many tails as possible.
This period of Trivia was notable for its strong, credible third-place and even #4 teams. Fifth-place teams with 270-ish scores were not unusual. Thus it was that new teams emerged at this point, claiming the next four titles. The most prominent of these was the aforementioned Evil Empire (who started the string by winning the 1987 We Begin Bombing contest, and were already on their second hosting stint this semester). While this new blood asserted its muscle, the Python and Currier Ballroom teams spent 1987-88 bouncing around in the 2-3-4 slots.
The situation of Teeth-Bombing-Organs member Des Devlin demonstrated how gnarled and intertwined the two teams DNA was.
"In December '84, an associate of the Pythons convinced me to play with Nasty Teeth. After we won, I contributed a bunch of stuff for the Teeth contest, including the Billy Joel audio. But I didn't really know anybody on the team, and what I did know was only from playing. An ongoing Trivia contest isn't exactly the best place to find soul-searching conversations and personal connections. But playing with the Python folks was fun. And after they left, Currier was still strong from 1985 to 1987. However, the process of assembling the We Begin Bombing contest struck me as less organic than Nasty Teeth's had been. It felt like a "leave your portfolio at the door and we'll get back to you" deal. Not that I was inner circle with Teeth either, but maybe Ted "Mr. Happy" Benson made things feel more inclusionary. Lots of my trivia was used in both contests. But the atmosphere just seemed stuffier the second time, I don't know. I'm a low-maintenance player who doesn't look for trouble or require ass-kissing... but Teeth was just more fun to me than Bombing; what can I tell you?
Concurrent with this, a few of the people I vaguely knew started drifting off the Currier team. By the time of Scarmbled Debutante (Spring 1988), there were maybe 3 players on the Ballroom team that I felt familiarty with. Even the guy who'd originally recruited me for Currier was gone. Here came that man Ted Benson again. At the Baxter awards, Ted asked me why I wasn't playing with them, and at the time, I didn't have a strong reason. So he said to find them next time, and hop on. I agreed.
However, when December '88 rolled around, I couldn't find Ted or anybody else. And so I headed back to Currier, placing a call to WCFM asking Ted to let me know where he was. When Ted's reply came through, the contest was already well underway, way too late to jump. (My teammates started yelling "Traitor!" at me.) They were mostly joking around, but Maggie and Joe were downcast that I would THINK about leaving, and so I didn't. At 4:00, I headed over to Python Central to say "hi," but you can't really hang around a competing team without feeling like a spy. Ted and I resolved that we would sort everything out next time.
Well, next time was Spring 1989, the Cannolis contest. And the Pythons did find me before midnight, and I switched sides. Little did I know that it would be an all-night battle between my previous team and my new team, or that the new team would win by 3 points. Since I know for a fact that I was worth more than 3 points to the Pythons, I never felt like I'd made more of a personal difference in a contest's outcome. But, I never felt guiltier about it, either. Because if I'd stayed, Fungus would have won. And, There Can Be No Dialogue with Fungus is a MUCH better name than Harry "Snapper" Organs.
I blame EVERYTHING on the Evil Empire. I was supposed to switch over to the Pythons in Winter 1988. If the Currier team had won that contest, I surely would have remained with them to help run. If Python had won, I couldn't have jumped onto a team that was hosting. But no, that dirty Evil Empire team was a juggernaut. They squashed Python by 65 points and us by 67, thereby leaving both of us in the mix, and forcing me to make a move. And the rest is phenomenally unimportant history."
As the Spring 1989 Trivia contest got underway, There Can Be No Dialogue with Fungus jumped into the early lead. Their 9 on the first Hour Bonus (J.R.R. Tolkien) beat Harry "Snapper" Organs' 7, and they also had a 3-1 gap in the first Action. Organs nudged Fungus 10-9 on the TV Themes audio, but were slapped 4-1 on the second Action. This left Organs 6 points behind, on-air questions excluded.
Actually, at this early stage, Circle K was Fungus' main opponent, not Harry Organs. But Organs would move into 2nd place before 3:00am.
The Fungus-Organs skirmish was back-and-forth all night, with neither team ever able to get more than a few points ahead of the other. In the third hour, Organs picked up another point on the Hour Bonus, and held Fungus to a 3-3 Action tie. Organs would chip away at Fungus, primarily on bonuses. They gained a point on Williamsiana, 2 points on the Funky audio, and a big 4 points on "Saturday Night Live." At the same time, Fungus outscored Organs on Actions, but only by 1.
By 6:00am, Organs held a six-point lead over Fungus, 222-216. The Harry Organs team was beating Fungus by a mere 2 points on the phones, but enjoyed a 10-point bonus boost over their nearest rivals. Fungus returned fire with a 6-point advantage over the first five Actions.
That 222-216 score was the last one announced until the end of the contest, won by 309-306. Obviously, Fungus picked up 3 points in the last 2 hours. But in a contest this consistently close, it's tough to pinpoint precisely what happened. Fungus picked up 4 points on the last two Actions.... but lost all four points right back on the 7th Hour Bonus, Old-Time Baseball (a critical 8-4 Organs edge). Neither team solved the Ultra Bonus, which could have made all the difference.
Alas, scores for the 8th Hour Bonus ("Moonlighting") and the second-half Super (Names) are lost to oblivion. The teams' performances on the last 29 on-air questions is also unknown, although 60 questions in, Organs and Fungus were deadlocked in a remarkable 108-108 tie. All that can be determined is that over the last 100 minutes of so of the Spring 1989 contest, There Can Be No Dialogue with Fungus outscored Harry "Snapper" Organs by 90-87 out of a possible 99.
This wasn't a "big bang" contest, where one team seizes control with great force. It was an incremental series of skirmishes. Harry Organs' 3-point margin can be fully accounted for within individual bonuses, such as the 8-4 lead over Fungus in Baseball, 9-5 in "Saturday Night Live," or 19-16 on the Syndicated TV Super. But Fungus got the 3 points back on the second Action, and outscored Organs by 2 on three of the other six topics.
The upshot is this: Organs beat Fungus on every single bonus except Tolkien. Fungus beat Organs on every single Action except Quayle and Jerry Lewis (both ties). Neither team got a point on the Ultra. The final totals for the 2nd Super and 8th Hour are unavailable, but 8 of the bonus scores and all 7 Action scores are known. Organs beat Fungus 80-66 on bonuses. Fungus topped Organs 25-15 on Actions. Together, 95-91 spells a 4-point edge for Organs. Question-answering performance was a wash. Harry Organs was 2 points better on the phones through 30 questions. The two teams were even through 60 questions. Through 75 questions, Fungus was back ahead, but only by 2. This is the absolute model for a closely-contested Trivia game.
Unfortunately for Fungus, their second-place finish meant that they had to compete against the host team the following semester. The Evil Empire was at their monstrous peak, and won again. However, this permitted the Currier Ballroom team to gain revenge over the Pythons, which they accomplished by beating them in their NEXT head-to-head opportunity, Spring 1990. And then the Pythons would turn around and win the contest hosted by the Currier gang. IT NEVER ENDS!!!
In Spring 1989, there were only two perfect-5 scores in Action Trivia, both achieved by Phasers on Stun. Oddly, they also skipped three of the seven Actions entirely.
Harry "Snapper" Organs was the top small team. Giselle's Stud-Muffins was the top freshman team. It's Gonna Suck If It Rains Tomorrow was (likely) the top one-person team.
FIRST SCORING UPDATE (thru 30 Q's, 2 Hours, 2 Actions)
76-- There Can Be No Dialogue with Fungus
75-- Something Strange is Afoot at the Circle K
72-- Harry "Snapper" Organs
SECOND SCORING UPDATE (thru 60 Q's, 4 Hours, 4 Actions)
155-- There Can Be No Dialogue with Fungus (44 + Action 4 + Q's)
150-- Harry "Snapper" Organs (39 + Action 4 + Q's)
149-- Something Strange is Afoot at the Circle K (38 + Action 4 + Q's)
THIRD (and final) SCORING UPDATE (thru 75 Q's, 1 Super, 6 Hours, 5 Actions)
TOP 15 ONLY
222-- Harry "Snapper" Organs
216-- There Can Be No Dialogue with Fungus
209-- Something Strange is Afoot at the Circle K
SUPER #1 SCORES (SYNDICATED TV):
1 pt.-- Science Geek Pulling an All-Nighter in Chem Building
4 pts.-- Giselle's Stud-Muffins
5 pts.-- It's Gonna Suck If It Rains Tomorrow; You Know, I Really Like Beer;
Poor Bastard
6 pts.-- Jim Wright Book of the Month Club; He's Banging a Pogo Stick; Alex
Rossi's Passed Out
7 pts.-- Mel Gibson, Dream Gynecologist; Manhattan Skyliners
9 pts.-- Satan's Puppies
12 pts.-- Phasers on Stun
14 pts.-- Call the Rugsuckers
16 pts.-- There Can Be No Dialogue with Fungus
17 pts.-- Something Strange Afoot at the Circle K
19 pts.-- Harry 'Snapper' Organs
SUPER #2 SCORES (NAMES): No scores announced.
HOUR #1 SCORES (TOLKIEN):
1 pt.-- Poor Bastard; Phasers on Stun
2 pts.-- A Judo a Chop Chop
3 pts.-- He's Banging a Pogo Stick
4 pts.-- A Science Geek Pulling an All-Nighter in Chem Building
5 pts.-- Giselle's Stud-Muffins
6 pts.-- Satan's Puppies
7 pts.-- Something Strange Afoot at the Circle K; Harry 'Snapper' Organs
9 pts.-- There Can Be No Dialogue with Fungus
HOUR #2 SCORES (TV THEME SONGS AUDIO):
2 pts.-- Jim Wright Book of the Month Club; He's Banging a Pogo Stick
3 pts.-- You Know, I Really Like Beer; It's Gonna Suck If It Rains Tomorrow
4 pts.-- Poor Bastard
5 pts.-- Alex Rossi's Passed Out; Mel Gibson, Dream Gynecologist; Call the
Rugsuckers; Giselle's Stud-Muffins
7 pts.-- Ho's Gotta Eat Too
8 pts.-- Satan's Puppies
9 pts.-- Something Afoot at the Circle K; There Can Be No Dialogue with
Fungus; Manhattan Skyliners
10 pts.-- Harry 'Snapper' Organs; Phasers on Stun
HOUR #3 SCORES (COMIC BOOKS):
1 pt.-- You Know, I Really Like Beer
3 pts.-- Poor Bastard; He's Banging a Pogo Stick
4 pts.-- Ho's Gotta Eat Too; Something Afoot at the Circle K
5 pts.-- Giselle's Stud-Muffins
6 pts.-- Phasers on Stun; It's Gonna Suck If It Rains Tomorrow
7 pts.-- Manhattan Skyliners; There Can Be No Dialogue with Fungus
8 pts.-- Harry 'Snapper' Organs
HOUR #4 SCORES (WILLIAMSIANA):
1 pt.-- Science Geek Pulling an All-Nighter in Chem; He's Banging a Pogo
Stick; Alex Rossi's Passed Out
2 pts.-- Mel Gibson, Dream Gynecologist
5 pts.-- Giselle's Stud-Muffins; Call the Rugsuckers
6 pts.-- You Know, I Really Like Beer; Poor Bastard; Satan's Puppies
7 pts.-- Phasers on Stun; Something Afoot at the Circle K
8 pts.-- There Can Be No Dialogue with Fungus
9 pts.-- Harry 'Snapper' Organs
HOUR #5 SCORES ("SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE"):
1 pt.-- Poor Bastard
2 pts.-- Giselle's Stud-Muffins; Mel Gibson, Dream Gynecologist; Satan's
Puppies; He's Banging a Pogo Stick
4 pts.-- unknown team (likely Beer, Geek, or Alex Rossi; possibly Skyliners)
5 pts.-- There Can Be No Dialogue with Fungus; Call the Rugsuckers
7 pts.-- Something Afoot at the Circle K
8 pts.-- Phasers on Stun
9 pts.-- Harry 'Snapper' Organs
HOUR #6 SCORES (FUNKY GROOVY "DIG IT" AUDIO):
2 pts.-- Poor Bastard; Satan's Puppies
3 pts.-- Call the Rugsuckers
6 pts.-- Mel Gibson, Dream Gynecologist
7 pts.-- Something Afoot at the Circle K
8 pts.-- There Can Be No Dialogue with Fungus
9 pts.-- Phasers on Stun
10 pts.-- Harry 'Snapper' Organs
HOUR #7 SCORES (OLD-TIME BASEBALL):
1 pt.-- Poor Bastard
2 pts.-- Mel Gibson, Dream Gynecologist
3 pts.-- Manhattan Skyliners
4 pts.-- Something Afoot at the Circle K; There Can Be No Dialogue with
Fungus; Satan's Puppies
5 pts.-- Call the Rugsuckers
6 pts.-- Giselle's Stud-Muffins
8 pts.-- Harry 'Snapper' Organs
10 pts.-- Phasers on Stun
HOUR #8 SCORES ("MOONLIGHTING"): No scores announced.
ACTION #1 SCORES (Do the Hustle):
1 pt.-- Alex Rossi's Passed Out; Phasers on Stun; Harry 'Snapper' Organs;
Ho's Gotta Eat Too; Satan's Puppies
2 pts.-- Call the Rugsuckers
3 pts.-- There Can Be No Dialogue with Fungus
4 pts.-- Something Strange Afoot at the Circle K
ACTION #2 SCORES (WCFM conservative talk show):
1 pt.-- Harry 'Snapper' Organs
2 pts.-- Giselle's Stud-Muffins; Poor Bastard
4 pts.-- There Can Be No Dialogue with Fungus; Something Afoot at the Circle
K; Call the Rugsuckers; He's Banging a Pogo Stick
ACTION #3 SCORES (Pres. Dan Quayle's first day):
1 pt.-- You Know, I Really Like Beer; Satan's Puppies
2 pts.-- Giselle's Stud-Muffins; Phasers on Stun
3 pts.-- Harry 'Snapper' Organs; There Can Be No Dialogue with Fungus;
Something Afoot at the Circle K; He's Banging a Pogo Stick; Call the
Rugsuckers
ACTION #4 SCORES (Hitler auditions):
1 pt.-- Phasers on Stun; Giselle's Stud-Muffins; Call the Rugsuckers
2 pts.-- Something Afoot at the Circle K
3 pts.-- Harry 'Snapper' Organs; He's Banging a Pogo Stick
4 pts.-- There Can Be No Dialogue with Fungus
ACTION #5 SCORES (Jerry Lewis telethon):
2 pts.-- Satan's Puppies; Call the Rugsuckers
3 pts.-- Something Afoot at the Circle K
4 pts.-- Harry 'Snapper' Organs; There Can Be No Dialogue with Fungus
5 pts.-- Phasers on Stun
(NOTE: Harry 'Snapper' Organs was outscored in this Action DESPITE their use of a LEGITIMATELY disabled person as their telethon's "poster child." It should be further noted-- if only for the interests of human decency-- that the moment the topic was announced, Harry Organs' disabled person jumped at the chance to volunteer. Well, okay... technically, he didn't jump.)
ACTION #6 SCORES (Blues Brothers recruitment):
1 pt.-- Harry 'Snapper' Organs
2 pts.-- Giselle's Stud-Muffins; Something Afoot at the Circle K
3 pts.-- There Can Be No Dialogue with Fungus
ACTION #7 SCORES (Star Trek mind control):
2 pts.-- Harry 'Snapper' Organs; Giselle's Stud-Muffins
3 pts.-- Something Afoot at the Circle K
4 pts.-- There Can Be No Dialogue with Fungus
5 pts.-- Phasers on Stun
ULTRA SCORES:
You Know, I Really Like Beer (14th place)-- solved at 4:00am (8 pts.)
Something Afoot at the Circle K (3rd place)-- solved at 4:50am (5 pts.)
Phasers on Stun (4th place)-- solved at 6:55am (3 pts.)