| 1 | 316 | The Funk of 40,000 Years |
| 2 | 311 | We Had a Pregnant Geologist, But We're Afraid She Had to Leave in a Hurry |
| 3 | 274 | I Love You, Miss Kitty Fantastico |
| 4 | 255 | Pac-Man Ate a Cherry, But It Was Only Worth 100 Points |
| 5 | 230 | More Fun Than a Barrel of Ebola Monkeys |
| 6 | 146 | Captain Bitchtits And his Dancing BooBoolas |
| 7 | 137 | The Manhattan Skyliners |
| 8 | 92 | We Keep Getting Older, But the Girls on Campus Stay the Same Age |
| 9 | 69 | I Lust After the Oiled, Nubile Body of the Iron Chef Italian |
| 10 | 57 | A World with Nothing But Shrimp |
| 11 | 55 | We Have Reached the Limits of What Rectal Probing Can Teach Us |
| 12 | 47 | Adam Bloom is the Sexiest Man You Ever Met. Please Make Out with Adam Bloom, He is Sexy, Sexy, Sexy. |
| 13 | 41 | The NW Connecticut Undertaker Fan Club, San Antonio Division |
| 14 | 17 | David and His Droogs |
| 15 | 16 | I Am Evil Homer |
| 16 | 9 | Marry Me, David Duchovny |
| 17 | 8 | My Cat's Breath Smells Like Cat Food |
| 18 | 7 | I Want to Touch the Llama |
| 19 | 4 | If You Get Touched By a Chamber Monster Alive or Dead You Lose a Winkie |
| 19 | 4 | Naturally Intelligent Gonna Get That Ass |
| 21 | 3 | The World Is Nothing But Trivia |
| 21 | 3 | Chairman Kaga Needs Food Badly |
| 23 | 2 | Team Squishy Cow |
| 23 | 2 | I Give Better Head Than Madonna |
| 23 | 2 | 'This Is Not Related to the Question' is a Crappy Subrealm |
| 23 | 2 | Ganzer Is Hung Like A Pygmy |
| 23 | 2 | Cut Down on the On-Air Chatter |
| 23 | 2 | The Cult of Tom |
| 23 | 2 | Creole King |
| 23 | 2 | These Hints Suck |
| 23 | 2 | Harem Conglomerate of Chuck's Love Slaves |
| 23 | 2 | Aylott is a Big Wussy Boy Who Needs to Learn How to Drive |
| 23 | 2 | I Hate Grapes (etc.) |
| 23 | 2 | Recycle the Score Sheets |
| 23 | 2 | Not Only Does the Funk Not Care About My Feelings, But They're Also Hurting the Environment |
| 23 | 2 | Scott and Howard Deserve to Get Their Goldfish Drown |
| 23 | 2 | We Accomplish Nothing By Living in Fear of Chuck Woolery |
| 38 | 1 | Dr. Fishopolis, You Need a Shave |
| 38 | 1 | Looks Like We Need Another Timmy |
| 38 | 1 | The Kilogram is Actually a Platinum Iridium Alloy |
| 38 | 1 | Score Inflation at Williams Has Reached Trivia |
| 38 | 1 | I Will Never Have Another Jelly Belly As Long As I Live. |
(NOTE: The scores have been ever-so-slightly adjusted from those announced over the radio. Since the team "We Have Reached the Limits of What Rectal Probing Can Teach Us" was Maggie Heamon and Joe Francis in California, it seems likely that the 2 points credited to "Maggie and Joe in California" are rightly theirs. Similarly, the 2 points listed for "I Love You" have been allocated to the third-place "I Love You, Miss Kitty Fantastico." Neither change affects the standings.)
The night's big winners, The Funk of 40,000 Years claimed their fourth Williams Trivia crown, winning by 5 points after finishing 2nd by the same margin the semester before. They'd previously won in 1995 as Elvis Needs Boats, in 1996 as Gentle Tongue-Tongue..., and in 1998 as Diplomatic Immunity.
Taking 2nd place was a revamped version of the Python team who won five contests between 1983 (!) and 1990. They began the night as "We Have a Pregnant Geologist and We're Not Afraid to Use Her," but adjusted their name after the P.G. in question went to sleep.
Miss Kitty Fantastico (3rd) was yet another alum team; in this case, several of the Ballroom vets who'd won 5 or 6 times over the previous decade or so, most recently in '96. (Meanwhile, a two-man subset of Kitty Fantastico handed in enough bonuses and made enough phone calls to ALSO grab the 8th place slot, as the rather forlorn "We Keep Getting Older, But the Girls on Campus Stay the Same Age.")
Coming in 4th was Pac-Man, an honest-to-goodness freshman team. Rarely do frosh teams debut this high in the standings and not go on to claim a contest victory before too long. So, look for the Pac-Group to host the 71st or 72nd contest.
Taking 7th place were the ever-durable Manhattan Skyliners, with team leader James Cohen driving 2,000 miles from Colorado for the occasion. This contest marked the Skyliners' FOURTH decade of Williams Trivia.
Make Way for Ducklings was the first team to make a heavy-duty effort to involve the internet, with bonuses and minute-by-minute score updates posted on the web. Naturally, WCFM's feed was available also. This rudimentary but thorough system enabled a few teams, notably Rectal Probing (as mentioned, from California) and the 13th-place Undertaker Fan Club (Evil Empire vet Paul McGreal, from Texas) to leave their long-distance marks.
The Tasmanian Tree-Biters of the North did not take part in this contest.
The 12th-place "Adam Bloom is the Sexiest Man You Ever Met. Please Make Out with Adam Bloom, He is Sexy, Sexy, Sexy." was a one-person team. Not surprisingly, that one person was Adam Bloom. He would have scored even higher had he NOT taken a mid-contest nap; he was sleepy, sleepy, sleepy.