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THE AUDIO SUPER

All cassette narration backed by "Mission Impossible" music:

"Good evening, Trivheads. This tape will NOT self-destruct in five seconds. At least we hope it won't. You'll be rewinding this a LOT. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to identify the following collection of snippets. Please give the Central Agency -- that's us -- the song title and artist for each teeny clip. You have four hours to complete your mission."

SECTION ONE: THE NAME GAME

40 famous names taken from 40 songs. Well, 39 famous names, actually. Explanation to follow.

  1. "The Name Game...." -- The Name Game -- Shirley Ellis
  2. "Timothy Leary" -- Legend of a Mind -- The Moody Blues
  3. "Marlon Brando" -- China Girl -- David Bowie
  4. "Zsa Zsa Gabor" -- Donna The Prima Donna -- Dion
  5. "Joe DiMaggio" -- Mrs. Robinson -- Simon and Garfunkel

  6. "Neil Young" -- Sweet Home Alabama -- Lynyrd Skynyrd
  7. "Johnny Ray" -- Come On Eileen -- Dexy's Midnight Runners
  8. "Edgar Allen Poe" -- I Am The Walrus -- The Beatles
  9. "Mama Cass" -- Creeque Alley -- The Mamas and the Papas
  10. "Bo Diddley, Bo Diddley" -- Bo Diddley -- Bo Diddley (sadly obvious in
  11. retrospect, no?)

  12. "Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, Galileo" -- Bohemian Rhapsody -- Queen
  13. "Spike Jones" -- Up On Cripple Creek -- The Band
  14. "Harold Robbins" -- Pulling Mussels From The Shell -- Squeeze
  15. "Lon Chaney, Junior" -- Werewolves of London -- Warren Zevon
  16. "Martin Luther" -- Let 'Em In -- Paul McCartney and Wings
  17. "Leonard Bernstein" -- It's The End of the World As We Know It... -- R.E.M.

  18. "Jimmy Dean, James Dean" -- Rock On -- David Essex
  19. "James Dean" -- American Pie -- Don McLean
  20. "James Dean" -- Take A Walk On The Wild Side" -- Lou Reed
  21. "James Dean" -- We Didn't Start the Fire -- Billy Joel
  22. "James Dean" -- Jack and Diane -- John Cougar

  23. "Yul Brynner" -- One Night in Bangkok -- Murray Head
  24. "George McGovern" -- Uneasy Rider -- The Charlie Daniels Band
  25. "Steve Reeves" -- Sweet Transvestite -- Tim Curry ("Rocky Horror")
  26. "Doris Day" -- Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go -- Wham!
  27. "Vincent Price"* -- Life's Been Good -- Joe Walsh

  28. "John Wayne" -- Fight The Power -- Public Enemy
  29. "Jesus Christ" -- Sympathy For The Devil -- The Rolling Stones
  30. "Peter Lorre" -- The Year Of The Cat -- Al Stewart
  31. "Charlie Chan" -- Searchin' -- The Coasters
  32. "Rudolph Valentino" -- Celluloid Heroes -- The Kinks

  33. "Buck Owens" -- Looking Out My Back Door -- Creedence Clearwater Revival
  34. "Paliacci" -- Tears of a Clown -- Smokey Robinson and the Miracles
  35. "Frankenstein" -- Another Saturday Night -- Sam Cooke
  36. "Richard Pryor" -- The Load-Out -- Jackson Browne
  37. "Ho Chi Minh" -- Here Come De Judge -- Pigmeat Markham

  38. "Carly Simon" -- Life Is a Rock (But the Radio Rolled Me) -- Reunion
  39. "Rose Marie" -- Smile A Little Smile For Me -- The Flying Machine
  40. "Lou Rawls, y'all" -- Sweet Soul Music -- Arthur Conley
  41. "The Naaammmmee Gaaammmmmeee...." -- The Name Game -- Shirley Ellis (reprise)

    *Note: The 26th clip chosen purportedly named the longtime actor best known for his work in the field of horror, "Vincent Price." It is in fact the tailend of the phrase, "Forget the price." The only explanation for the confusion is that Des is a big fat deaf dope.

SECTION TWO: "BABY"

"Section Two. Your trivial quest continues..... baby."

65 songs. The number of "baby"s per clip is given, as well as any unusual inflections or extracurricular words.

  1. "Helll-llo, baaaa-by" -- Chantilly Lace -- The Big Bopper
  2. 1 -- Baby, Now That I've Found You -- The Foundations
  3. 1 -- Be My Baby -- The Ronettes
  4. 2 -- Ooh Baby Baby -- The Miracles
  5. 2 -- Every Breath You Take -- The Police

  6. "Baby, baby, sweet baby" -- Since You've Been Gone -- Aretha Franklin
  7. 1 -- Come On Down To My Boat -- Every Mother's Son
  8. 3 --All Right Now -- Free
  9. 2 --Baby I'm A-Want You -- Bread
  10. 1 -- Don't You Want Me -- The Human League

  11. 1 -- They Don't Know -- Tracy Ullman
  12. 3 --You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling -- The Righteous Brothers
  13. "ohhhhhhhhhhh, baby, baby" -- Tainted Love/Where Did Our Love Go -- Soft Cell
  14. 1 -- Brilliant Disguise -- Bruce Springsteen
  15. 1 -- Let's Go -- The Cars

  16. 1 -- Be-Bop-A-Lula -- Gene Vincent
  17. "oo-wee, oo-wee baby, oo-wee, oo-wee baby, oo-wee, oo-wee baby" -- Sea Cruise -- Frankie Ford
  18. "baby, please, baby" -- Give Me Just A Little More Time -- The Chairmen of the Board
  19. "ooh-ooh, baby" -- I Feel The Earth Move -- Carole King
  20. 12 -- I Got The Feelin' -- James Brown

  21. 1 -- Baby Blue -- Badfinger
  22. "B-b-b-baby" -- You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet" -- Bachman-Turner Overdrive
  23. 1 -- I Feel Fine -- The Beatles
  24. "Ooh baby baby, ba-ba-baby, ooh baby baby, ba-ba-ba-baby" -- Push It -- Salt N Pepa
  25. 1 -- Uptight -- Stevie Wonder

  26. "ohhhh, baby" -- Louie Louie -- The Kingsmen
  27. 2 -- Where Did My Love Go -- Diana Ross and the Supremes
  28. 16 -- My Pledge of Love -- The Joe Jefferies Group
  29. 2 -- Say Say Say -- Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson
  30. 1 -- Kiss You All Over -- Exile

  31. 1 -- Maybe Baby -- Buddy Holly and the Crickets
  32. 2 -- Baby, I'm For Real -- The Originals
  33. 1 -- Twist and Shout -- The Isley Brothers
  34. 1 -- Baby Hold On -- Eddie Money
  35. 1 -- Shadow Dancing -- Andy Gibb

  36. 1 -- Somebody To Love -- Jefferson Airplane
  37. "awww-whawww, baby" -- Can't Get Enough of Your Love Babe -- Barry White
  38. 2 -- Good Lovin -- The Rascals
  39. 1 -- Piece of My Heart -- Janis Joplin
  40. 4 -- Rock 'N Me -- The Steve Miller Band

  41. 1 -- Faith -- George Michael
  42. "ooh, baby" -- Baby I Love Your Way -- Peter Frampton
  43. "oh, baby, baby" -- Say Has Anybody Seen My Sweet Gypsy Rose -- Tony Orlando and Dawn
  44. "higher, baby -- get higher, baby -- get higher, baby!" -- White Lines (Don't Don't Do It) -- Grandmaster Flash and Melle Mel
  45. 1 -- The Twist -- Chubby Checker

  46. 1 -- Whole Lotta Shakin' Going On -- Jerry Lee Lewis
  47. 1 -- "1-2-3" -- Len Barry
  48. 2 -- Paradise By The Dashboard Light -- Meatloaf
  49. 1 -- The Long Run -- The Eagles
  50. 2 -- Sock It To Me Baby -- Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels

  51. 1 -- You Baby -- The Turtles
  52. 2 -- Whole Lotta Love -- Led Zeppelin
  53. 1 -- There Goes My Baby -- The Drifters
  54. 1 -- 98.6 -- Keith
  55. 1 -- The Loco-Motion -- Grand Funk Railroad

  56. 1 -- In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida -- Iron Butterfly
  57. 3 -- Don't Do Me Like That -- Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
  58. "baby, thank you, baby, aw, baby, oh baby, oooohhh-awwwww" -- I Thank You -- Sam and Dave
  59. 1 -- Gimme Some Lovin' -- The Spencer Davis Group
  60. 6 -- I Could Never Love Another (After Loving You) -- The Temptations

  61. 1 -- That's Life -- Frank Sinatra
  62. "get on, baby -- yeaahhhh, baby, woo-hoo-hoooo, baby" -- Long Tall Sally -- Little Richard
  63. "bye-bye baby, don't go away, bye-bye baby, hey" -- Hey Girl -- Freddie Scott
  64. "goooodbye baby, baby, bye-bye, gooooodbye baby, baby, bye-bye" -- Goodbye Baby -- Jack Scott
  65. "ah, bye-bye baby, baby goodbye, bye baby, baby bye-bye, ahhh, bye-bye baby, don't make me cry, bye baby, baby bye-bye, aah, oh, whaaa, bye baby, baby bye-bye, ah-whaaa, baby bye, bye baby, baby bye" -- Bye Bye Baby (Baby Goodbye) -- The Four Seasons

    Final Totals: 149 Babys, 65 songs, 3:22 length
    Babys Per Second: 0.7376237
    Song With Most Babys: "My Pledge of Love" (16)
    Most Thoroughly Awesome Baby By General Acclamation: "Can't Get Enough Of Your Love Babe"

PART THREE: I LOVE YOU

"Your next and final task -- to catalogue the love our team has for every Trivial Mission Squad out there. May your rewind button be sturdy, and your ears acute, trivia warriors. The score you save may be your own."

65 songs, just like the "Baby" section. But just one "I love you" per song, except where noted. The segue from Simon and Garfunkel into Screaming Jay Hawkins is sheer, unadulterated magic.

  1. I Love You -- People (3)
  2. I Love You -- The Volumes
  3. Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye -- Steam
  4. I Do -- Marvelows
  5. Michelle -- The Beatles (3)

  6. Hello, I Love You -- The Doors
  7. I'm Telling You Now -- Freddie and the Dreamers (2)
  8. I've Been Loving You Too Long -- Otis Redding (4 --counting one "Good God Almighty, I love you")
  9. I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch) -- The Four Tops
  10. To Love Somebody -- The Bee Gees

  11. Flash -- Queen
  12. Because -- The Dave Clark 5
  13. More Today Than Yesterday -- The Spiral Starecase
  14. Sunny -- Bobby Hebb
  15. For Emily, Wherever I May Find Her -- Simon and Garfunkel

  16. I Put A Spell On You -- Screaming Jay Hawkins (3)
  17. Babe -- Styx
  18. Susie Q -- Creedence Clearwater Revival
  19. True Colors -- Cyndi Lauper
  20. Just The Way You Are -- Billy Joel

  21. Peggy Sue -- Buddy Holly and the Crickets
  22. Nights in White Satin -- The Moody Blues (2)
  23. Oh! Carol -- Neil Sedaka
  24. Around The Way Girl -- LL Cool J
  25. Can't Take My Eyes Off You -- Frankie Valli

  26. I Feel For You -- Chaka Khan
  27. Build Me Up Buttercup -- The Foundations
  28. Personality -- Lloyd Price
  29. Hot Legs -- Rod Stewart ("I love ya, honey!")
  30. La-La Means I Love You -- The Delfonics

  31. Go All The Way -- The Raspberries
  32. I'll Have To Say I Love You In a Song -- Jim Croce
  33. Midnight Confessions -- The Grass Roots
  34. Why -- Frankie Avalon
  35. My Boy Lollipop -- Millie Small (3)

  36. This Old Heart Of Mine Is Weak For You -- The Isley Brothers
  37. Lazy Day -- Spanky and Our Gang
  38. Elenore -- The Turtles
  39. Tell Her No -- The Zombies
  40. Dammit Janet -- Bostwick and Sarandon/ "Rocky Horror"

  41. Call On Me -- Chicago
  42. Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood -- The Animals
  43. Betcha By Golly Wow -- The Stylistics
  44. Peg -- Steely Dan
  45. Yummy Yummy Yummy -- The Ohio Express

  46. I'm a Happy Man -- The Jive Five
  47. Joanna -- Kool and the Gang
  48. Everybody Loves a Clown -- Gary Lewis and the Playboys
  49. All I Have To Do Is Dream -- The Everly Brothers
  50. Silly Love Songs -- Paul McCartney and Wings (2)

  51. Something Stupid -- Frank and Nancy Sinatra
  52. Oh What a Night -- The Dells
  53. Wild Thing -- The Troggs
  54. Philadelphia Freedom -- Elton John
  55. Do I Love You? -- The Ronettes (2)

  56. Show and Tell -- Al Wilson
  57. 16 Reasons -- Connie Stevens
  58. The More I See You -- Chris Montez
  59. You're So Fine -- The Falcons (2)
  60. Angel Baby -- Rosie and the Originals

  61. I Want You, I Need You, I Love You -- Elvis Presley
  62. 16 Candles -- The Crests
  63. He Don't Love You (aka He Will Break Your Heart) -- Jerry Butler
  64. Walking In The Rain With The One I Love -- Love Unlimited (2)
  65. Vehicle -- The Ides of March

"All the clues are now yours..... deduce away. And remember, although this tape will not self-destruct, your team's score will, if you don't complete your mission by 7:45 AM."