Sandy/Fukui: Thirty years ago, a man's fantasy became reality in a forum never seen before: a giant all-night contest of esoterica, called Williams Trivia.
[Crunch of bell pepper]
Sandy/Fukui: The motivation for spending his fortune to create Williams Trivia was to keep Williams students, professors, alumni and assorted others up all night in the pursuit of Trivia which could be called a true artistic creation.
Ethan/Kaga: ALLEZ TRIVIA!
Sandy/Fukui: To realize his dream, he first secretly selected the top experts in various aspects of modern life: pop culture, Star Trek, Williamsiana, baseball scores. The students gathered into trivia teams, invincible agglomerations of Trivia skill.
The teams chose names for themselves: Shiny Happy Tupperware of Doom. Elvis Needs Boats. Stetson Six. A Bunch of Mindless Jerks Who Will Be First Up Against the Wall When the Revolution Comes. Gentle Tongue Tongue, He Weeps For He Has But One Tongue With Which To Taste An Entire World. Cthulu Matata. At 200 MPH, There Is No Diplomatic Immunity.
Twice a year, the challenging teams pit their skills against the Iron Trivia Team. Williams College is the arena where the Iron Trivia Team awaits the challenge of other teams from around the world. Each team has eight hours to tackle the night's contest, which consists of five parts: on-air questions, boni, super boni, action trivia and the dreaded ultra bonus.
Using all their senses, skills and creativity, each team must produce a night of trivia as it's never been done before. When a challenging team wins the trivia contest, they will get stuck writing the following semester's contest, and will win the people's ovation and fame for ever! What inspiration will tonight's contest bring, and how will the trivia teams fight back?
[Michael Nyman music]
Hank/Japanese Kaga: Wa-tak-shi-no-key-yo-ku-ga-tash-ka-na-ra-ba
Ethan/Kaga: If memory serves me right, tonight's challengers come from around the world. They have called in from as far as China, California, Texas and France. But most come from right here, on the bucolic Williams College campus.
Some, like the founder of Manhattan Skyliners, began apprenticing in Trivia at the age of fourteen. They are master trivia players, whose subtle skill must be respected.
Sandy/Fukui: We expect fascinating boni filled in by Des Devlin tonight. If we're really lucky, we'll get another action bonus from Adam Bloom.
Kate/Ditz: Will he drop his pants again?
Rachel/Hattori: No, that was Chuck Munyon.
Ethan/Kaga: While we honor the seasoned powers of the alumni, the challengers truly to be feared are the student teams. They are hungry for victory. The Iron Trivia Team itself is descended from several such teams.
Sandy/Fukui: Perhaps the most hungry for victory is the team once known as Pacman Ate a Cherry, who performed so powerfully in the early hours of their last battle.
Rachel/Hattori: Now they must be strong and experienced, but expect surprises.
Sandy/Fukui: Thank you, Dr. Hattori.
Rachel/Hattori: Always a pleasure.
Kate/Kishi: The team most recently known as Miss Kitty Fantastico was once strong in the force, but I'm not sure they're at the top of their game. And then there's always the possibility of an incredible freshman team. I just don't know what to expect.
Ethan/Kaga: It will be difficult to beat the Iron Trivia Team. They've had months to prepare their contest.
Kate/Challenging team: We're going to challenge the Iron Trivia Team. We've gathered all of our friends. We've got encyclopedias, reference books, a web connection and a stuffed pig. We've been working all year in preparation for the contest.
Hank/Ota: Do you think you can win?
Kate& Male/Challengers: Hai! We will win.
Ethan/Kaga: Tonight's theme ingredient is...
[cue theme ingredient music]
Ethan/Kaga: Funk.
Kate/Ditz: Oh! It's funk!
Rachel/Hattori: Funk is a difficult ingredient. It's very powerful and hard to control.
Sandy/Fukui: This gives the advantage to the Iron Trivia Team. They have so much funk!
Rachel/Hattori: Also, it has a very strong aroma.
Kate/Ditz: I think I like funk. But how would I know? I don't really have any funk at home.
Ethan/Kaga: Trivia only comes twice a year. Will you explain the rules, Hattori-san?
Rachel/Hattori: Of course. The bulk of the contest consists of on-air questions and songs. The Iron Trivia Team will read a question and then play a song that's somehow connected. Challenger teams have to call the radio station, and identify the answer and song for two points.
Kate/Ditz: That sounds difficult!
Rachel/Hattori: It's not as bad as it sounds, actually. The Iron Trivia Team will give hints over the phone.
Hank/Ota: Fukui-san!
Sandy/Fukui: Go ahead, Ota.
Hank/Ota: What about the hour boni?
Sandy/Fukui: Yes. Every hour, the Iron Trivia Team provides a collection of questions on a similar theme. These are usually written, but sometimes they're audio or video clips.
Kate/Ditz: Haven't I eaten hour bonuses before?
Rachel/Hattori: Once they were liquids, and once jellybeans, yes.
Sandy/Fukui: There are also superboni, which are like hour boni, but larger. They take four hours to complete, instead of one.
Rachel/Hattori: That's right. Also Action Trivia, announced every hour on the half hour. Challenger teams have to act out skits. And the final component of the contest is the ultra bonus, which involves trios of words read every hour. Challenger teams must guess the connection between the words.
Ditz: What happens if they guess more than once?
Hattori: That's allowed. They can guess as many times as they want, although they'll get more points if they figure it out early. And that's basically it.
Sandy/Fukui: Will there be funk to be found on the Williams College Campus tonight? The heat will be on!
Ethan/Kaga: ALLEZ TRIVIA!