Realm: Winning Big
Subrealm: But Not Big Enough
Question: Ladies and gentlemen, our team has what can only be described as a small problem. It's a problem that can't be solved by transferring millions of dollars of Nigerian funds to our personal bank accounts. Nor can our particular pain be eased by low-cost Ambien, hot teen sluts, inkjet cartridges, amazing foreclosure opportunities, or the removal of our unwanted hair (and we have a LOT of unwanted hair). No, our trouble is that, well, we could be a little.... bigger. Would additional size make a difference in our life? Hell yes! Do we long to see the ecstatic look on her face, when she first lays eyes upon what we have to offer? We sure do! Alas, the only weapon we're packing is eight thick, veiny hours of throbbing trivia. Please, please help us! Pick up your phone, and tell the underendowed operator.... in five words, mind you.... how we can add "up to" 6 inches overnight!
Answer: Click Here to Get Huge.
Song: "Spam" by Monty Python
Realm: Getting Huge
Subrealm: Aiming to Satisfy
Question: Oh, baby! What's going to get 9 inches longer in 2004?
Answer: The NCAA basketball 3-point shot.
Song: "Beat Surrender" by the Jam
Realm: A Century of Hugeness
Subrealm: Ladies of the Year 2100, Brace Yourselves
Question: In 1900, the American average for men was 6.5. Today, it's 10.5. What?
Answer: Shoe size.
Song: "Big Ten Inch Record" by Bullmoose Jackson
Subrealm: Huh, Huh, Huh.... I Said "Dandong"
Question: Until recently, what surprising item could be rented at the zoo in Dandong, China?
Answer: Rifles. They allowed guests to shoot at unprotected animal species on-site.
Song: "Bang Your Head" by Quiet Riot
Realm: Sports Achievements
Subrealm: Throwing Gas
Question: The all-time baseball record for the fewest number of pitches needed to strike out the side was set in 1946. Who set this record? How many pitches did it take?
Answer: Bugs Bunny; he struck out 3 batters on 1 pitch.
Song: "Swing, Swing" by the All American Rejects
Realm: More Media LIES
Subrealm: You Brokaw, You Bought It
Question: What misinformation was provided by The NBC Nightly News every single night until 1984?
Answer: Their globe spun in the wrong direction.
Song: "Around the World" by Daft Punk
Realm: Life During Wartime
Subrealm: Who Hears This Question?
Question: Scholars believe that several highly racist and inflammatory anti-Japanese editorial cartoons he did in 1942 were partially responsible for Roosevelt's decision to create Japanese interment camps. Who was this famous Nippophobe?
Answer: Dr. Seuss.
Song: "Let Us Out" by the Sneetches
Realm: Abnormal Mounds
Subrealm: It's Only Abnormal If You're Doing It Right
Question: "Abnormal Foreplay," and "Zounds! What Mounds!" What are they?
Answer: Alphabetically, they're the 1st and last names to play Williams Trivia.
Song: "Be Near Me" by ABC
Realm: Utah Trivia
Subrealm: Quick, Wake Up a Mormon
Question: The town nearest the center of Utah is Levan. How did Levan, Utah get its name?
Answer: "Navel" spelled backwards.
Song: "The Hardest Button to Button" by the White Stripes
Realm: It's Late, It's Cold, No One's Looking
Subrealm: Time for a Little Sock-Dologizing
Question: "You sock-dologizing old mantrap!" (Pause for big laugh.) What happened next?
Answer: Abraham Lincoln was assassinated. (Those were the last words Abe ever heard.)
Song: "Faint" by Linkin Park
Realm: Williams Trivia Trivia, Vol. 2
Subrealm: Non-Dologized Socks
Question: In 1972, one of the Free Tumblers' questions was about Richard Nixon's guest appearance on "Laugh-In." Those teams that knew Tricky Dick had said "Sock it to me?" earned 1 point in the contest. 27 years later, how much was that same question worth?
Answer: One million dollars. (It was the first top-money question to be correctly answered on "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.")
Song: "Final Answer" by the Calling
Realm: The Final Countdown
Subrealm: A Time to Embrace, a Time to Refrain from Embracing
Question: As many websites will tell you, we're down to 155 days. For what?
Answer: For the Olsen Twins to become legal.
Song: "Let Me In" by the Sensations
Realm: More Dead Entertainers
Subrealm: He Has a Quiet Charisma
Question: What TV show title still bears the original host's name, even though he died less than 3 months after it debuted?
Answer: "Ripley's Believe It Or Not."
Song: "Theme to the Greatest American Hero" by Joey Scarbury
Realm: Alkali Trivia
Subrealm: OH, YEAH!
Question: Uncombined alkali, carbonates and various mineral matter make up 0.56% of what product?
Answer: Ivory Soap.
Song: "No Scrubs" by TLC
Question: What song, by what band, comprises the only Top 40 double-palindrome in U.S. music chart history?
Answer: "S.O.S." by ABBA.
Song: "Bob" by Weird Al Yankovic
Realm: Sports for Rich Douchebags
Subrealm: Besides Corporate Raiding
Question: What unique player restriction is in effect in both polo and jai alai?
Answer: Left-handers are barred from competition.
Song: "All Right Now" by Free
Realm: Communication in the Animal Kingdom
Subrealm: When You Care Enough to Send the Very Best
Question: According to a recent study, how do herring communicate with each other underwater?
Answer: Flatulence. Scientists call the fishies' system "FRTS"-- Fast Repetitive Tick Sounds.)
Song: "Tiny Bubbles" by Don Ho
Subrealm: Leave Off the Last S for Saviours
Question: The Kentucky Mountain Bible College had some trouble with its assigned telephone set-up. What was the problem?
Answer: All their numbers contained the prefix "666-".
Song: "Hot Line" by the Sylvers
Realm: Sheep, Cats, and Contagious Disease
Subrealm: Three Great Tastes That Taste Great Together
Question: What do "Mary Had a Little Lamb," a man sneezing, and Felix the Cat have in common?
Answer: They were the subjects of, respectively, the first audio recording, the first filmed image, and the first televised image.
Song: "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" by Roberta Flack
Realm: Williams Trivia Trivia, Vol. 3
Subrealm: Getting Really Huge
Question: What team scored the most points in a single Williams Trivia contest? And what was perhaps the single greatest contributing factor behind their record total?
Answer: Phasers on Stun, with 292,000 points. The Spring 1983 contest featured "videogame scoring," in which a single question was worth 1,000 points (and so on).
Song: "Saddest Song" by the Ataris
Realm: Bob Hope
Subrealm: Thanks for the Eulogy
Question: What was ironic about the New York Times' July 2003 obituary for Bob Hope?
Answer: Hope outlived the obituary's writer. (Vincent Canby had died almost 3 years earlier.)
Song: "Man Out of Time" by Elvis Costello
Subrealm: Changeable Gambling
Question: What card game will have rules that will change on Tuesdays?
Song: "Love Trek" (*no artist required)
AND NOW IT'S TIME TO GET YOUR EARS ON THEIR TOES. THE LAST CONTEST CONDUCTED A LITTLE EXPERIMENT, WITH HOURLY "LONG SONGS." NOW IT'S TIME FOR AN OPPOSITE AND EQUAL REACTION. TRIVIA EQUILIBRIUM MUST BE RESTORED! WE THINK WE CAN KNOCK OFF THE NEXT EIGHT QUESTIONS IN ABOUT 26 MINUTES. THAT'S BECAUSE THEIR AVERAGE LENGTH IS ABOUT TWO MINUTES AND A FEW SECONDS. SO THINK FAST, DIAL FAST, ANSWER FAST.
Realm: Fun in a Box
Subrealm: It's a Game of Numbers
Question: In board games, what are 16, 48, 49, 56, 62, 64, 87, 93, 95, and 98? What are 1, 4, 9, 21, 28, 36, 51, 71, and 80?
Answer: Chutes, and Ladders.
Song: "Slippin' and Slidin'" by Little Richard
Realm: Your Friendly Local Airport
Subrealm: And Things That Eventually Happen There
Question: What event finally took place last June 26th, at Albany International Airport?
Answer: The last of the winter snow melted. (They piled much of the local snow at the airport).
Song: "The Elements" by Tom Lehrer
Realm: Shame and Public Humiliation
Subrealm: No, We're Not Announcing an Action Trivia
Question: The greatest public shame of the year 2003 befell California's Todd Richard Lewis. What was his lowly circumstance?
Answer: Of the 130 official candidates in the recall election, he finished dead last. (Todd got 0.00002% of the vote... with a 2% margin of error, of course.)
Song: "Goddamn Job" by the Replacements
Realm: Building an International Community
Subrealm: One Wiseassed Skeptic at a Time
Question: What is the official collective term for the readers of Cecil Adams' column "The Straight Dope"?
Answer: "The Teeming Millions."
Song: "Dope Nose" by Weezer
Realm: Get Huge
Subrealm: And We Do Mean Huge
Question: What is the largest construction project ever built on Earth?
Answer: The Great Barrier Reef (we never said it was built by humans).
Song: "Spanish Main" by the Coral
Realm: Um, Sports?
Subrealm: Hey, There Are Related Injuries
Question: On Sunday, November 9th of last year, the major networks were showing NFL football and the final round of the PGA Tour championship. What championship event did ESPN broadcast?
Song: "Alligators All Around" by Carole King
Realm: Film Roles
Subrealm: Smart and Smarterer
Question: According to Mensa, who is the smartest movie character ever? Who's second?
Answer: Will Hunting; John Nash.
Song: "I Dig Your Mind" by the Nervous Breakdowns
Realm: The Sport of the Gods
Subrealm: Roddy Piper is God
Question: We've got Hell in a Cell cage matches, Triple Threat matches, and Last Man Standing matches. But the FMW promotion in Japan makes Vince McMahon look like a shy romantic poet. What classic style of Greco-Roman wrestling match did Hayabusa lose to Mr. Gannosuke?
Answer: An "Exploding Anus Death Match." (Fireworks were inserted into the loser.)
Song: "You Can't Sit Down" by the Dovells
Realm: Time for a Quick Scoring Update
Subrealm: You're Not Eligible
Question: Rivera was in 5th place. Luckey was in 4th. Ranft was in 3rd place. Who was in 2nd, and 1st?
Answer: Randall, and Sullivan. (These are the standings from the scaring competition from "Monsters Inc.")
Song: "Furry Happy Monsters" by REM
Realm: Teeny Tiny Actors
Question: Last August, Al Pacino achieved a double feat on the Internet Movie Database website. What imdb.com two-fer did Not-So-Big Al manage?
Answer: Pacino co-starred in both the #1 film on the Top 250 Movies list, and the #1 film on the Bottom 100 list (The Godfather, Gigli).
Song: "I Hate Myself for Loving You" by Joan Jett
Realm: Head-to-Head Comparisons
Subrealm: Even More Shocking Than "The Godfather" vs. "Gigli"
Question: Pamela Anderson beats Marie Curie by more than 8-to-1. Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation is a lowly 23,300, while fisting far surpasses 11 million. And "being kind to others" is only about two-thirds as popular as "spank me hard." How so?
Answer: Respective google hits.
Song: "The Internet is for Porn" from Avenue Q
Realm: Trivia for the Child Inside Us All
Subrealm: Unless You're Pete Townshend
Question: They're favored by both obese and anorexic children. They're also well-liked by both aggressive and passive tots, and even children carrying the varicella zoster virus. What?
Answer: Armour hot dogs.
Song: "Tube Snake Boogie" by ZZ Top
Realm: Teutonic Tributaries
Subrealm: Surf Heil!
Question: What is the most well-known painting depicting Germany's Rhine River?
Answer: "Washington Crossing the Delaware."
Song: "Many Rivers to Cross" by Jimmy Cliff
Subrealm: The End
Question: Two great writers both died on the same day: April 23, 1616. Who?
Answer: Cervantes and William Shakespeare.
Song: "Vehicle" by the Ides of March
Realm: Dead Authors
Subrealm: The Epilogue
Question: Contrary to what you might have been told by certain uninformed dummies, Cervantes and William Shakespeare did NOT die on the same day. Why not?
Answer: Spain was using the Gregorian calendar, England was on the Julian. They actually died about 2 weeks apart.
Song: "World Shut Your Mouth" by Julian Cope
Realm: X's and O's
Subrealm: And Two X's Over His Eyes
Question: Hall of Fame NFL coach George Allen is known for developing the "nickel defense," as well as creating offseason training camps. However, another popular football tradition didn't work out as well for him. What happened in Allen's final game, when he was coaching Long Beach State?
Answer: His players dumped a keg of Gatorade over his head. He contracted pneumonia, and died weeks later.
Song: "Pour Some Sugar on Me" by Def Leppard
Realm: Science on the March
Subrealm: Where Do We Get a Job Pimping Out Crustaceans?
Question: Researchers in England discovered that lobsters reproduced more rapidly when WHAT was piped into the aquarium?
Answer: Barry White songs.
Song: "Spread" by Outkast
Realm: Williams Trivia Trivia, Vol. 4
Subrealm: Onlookers Were Stunned
Question: Most players agreed it was worth waiting out the blizzard for the 1993 contest run by Phasers on Stun: The Next Generation, which featured the first sample food bonus, the fake Action, and the original Lit Slits bonus, among other treats. However, the group of people running the game inside WCFM was missing something. Something that every other team in contest history has had. What?
Answer: Any Williams College students or alumni. (Although the Phasers team included several Ephs while winning in May 1992, all of them had vanished by hosting time.)
Song: "You" by George Harrison
Note: Correction: The Eph-less broadcast was actually three contests later, and the team was 1994's How Dare They Challenge Us With Their Primitive Skills? They were a direct descendant of the Phasers:TNG team, which had shed some of its Williams talent in 1992-93, but not all of it.
Realm: Oh, Canada
Subrealm: We Stand On Line For Thee
Question: If you were attending the CFL championship game, also known as the Grey Cup, and you wanted the very best seats available, on what yard line would you want to sit?
Answer: The 55.
Song: "I'll Meet You Halfway" by Partridge Family
Realm: I'm a Slave 4 U Subrealm: You Coulda Bought Janeane Garofalo for $2200
Question: The co-star of what film sold in an auction for $18,400?
Answer: "Cast Away" (it was Wilson the volleyball).
Song: "Baby Workout" by Jackie Wilson
Realm: Mass Transit
Subrealm: Keeping the Middle East Safe
Question: Officials in southern Israel have begun fitting what with phosphorescent light strips, in an attempt to reduce night time accidents?
Song: "The Humpty Dance" by Digital Underground
Realm: Wrestling Champions
Subrealm: If You Blink, Sneeze, or Get Hit with a Steel Chair, You Could Miss It
Question: Which two wrestlers had the shortest reigns as WWF champion? And how long did the shortest reign last?
Answer: Andre the Giant; Yokozuna. Yokozuna's title reign lasted just 40 seconds. (Andre lasted a far more impressive 2 minutes and 8 seconds.)
Song: "Be a Man" by Randy Savage
Realm: U.S. Politics
Subrealm: The Family That Vetos Together
Question: Name the only U.S. Senator whose mother and father were both U.S. Senators?
Answer: Huey Long.
Song: "The Senator's Daughter" by Fountains of Wayne
Realm: Radioactive Spider Bites
Subrealm: The Kind That Don't Give You Leukemia
Question: What unusual extra did Spider-Man display on the last page of his first appearance, in Amazing Fantasy #15?
Song: "Rock Show" by blink-182
Realm: "One Big Happy" Just Missed the Cut
Subrealm: "Sluggy Freelance" is Only 1,000 Away
Question: Which seven comic strips appear in more than 1,000 newspapers?
Answer: 1. Garfield 2. Peanuts Classic 3. For Better or For Worse 4. Dilbert 5. Blondie 6. Hagar the Horrible 7. Beetle Bailey
Song: "Sunday Papers" by Joe Jackson
Realm: Live Long and Prosper
Subrealm: And Crank Out the Crap
Question: What is the unique literary accomplishment of the Star Trek novelization "The Brave and the Bold"?
Answer: It includes characters from all 5 "Star Trek" TV series.
Song: "Stay Together" by N.E.R.D.
Realm: Can There Be a Trivia Contest Without Harmon Killebrew?
Subrealm: We Say "NO!"
Question: Harmon Killebrew is the Jerry West of baseball.... or conversely, Jerry West is the Harmon Killebrew of the NBA. How so?
Answer: They're the models for the silhouettes in their sports' respective logos.
Song: "Shapes of Things" by the Yardbirds
Realm: Boxing Day
Subrealm: Trivia.... Seeee-cretsss
Question: Who sent out a million-plus boxes in a single day, labelled "Deeper secrets. Darker powers. Stronger magic."? What was inside?
Answer: Amazon.com; copies of "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire."
Song: "Muggles" by Louis Armstrong
(NOTE: The correct answer is actually "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix."? "...Goblet of Fire" was the previous 4th book.)
Realm: Lovely Love for Lovers
Subrealm: On Your Knees!
Question: In 1997, Bill Gottlieb of New York City found a one-of-a-kind way to propose to his girlfriend, Emily-- one not likely to be repeated anytime soon. How did he propose?
Answer: Through the New York Times crossword puzzle. (He convinced Will Shortz to create a crossword that his puzzle-loving girlfriend would solve. Answers included both of their names, "A Modest Proposal" [Swift essay] and "Will You Marry Me?" [Paula Abdul song])
Song: "Jump" by Kris Kross
Realm: Miscellaneous Miscellany
Subrealm: For Miscellaners
Question: Americans fill approximately 54 acres of these every day. What?
Answer: Crossword puzzle spaces.
Song: "Will You Marry Me?" by Paula Abdul
Realm: Size Matters
Subrealm: Click Piglet to Get Huge
Question: What imaginary unit of measurement is used by Winnie-the-Pooh?
Answer: The smackerel.
Song: "Smack My Bitch Up" by Prodigy
Realm: Rich People
Subrealm: Who Couldn't Take It With Them
Question: We all know people like Gates and Spielberg make boatloads of money each year. It's not that hard, they're still alive. BUCKLE UP, THIS IS A THREE POINT PLAY! We have the list of the 10 dead people who overcame that small inconvenience to earn the most money last year. For one point, name any 5 of the top 10. For two points, name 7.
Answer: Elvis Presley ($40 mil); Charles Schulz ($32 mil); J.R.R. Tolkien ($22 mil); John Lennon; George Harrison; Theodor "Dr. Seuss" Geisel; Dale Earnhardt; Tupac Shakur; Bob Marley; Marilyn Monroe.
Song: "Touch of Grey" by the Grateful Dead
Realm: Get Me Rewrite!
Subrealm: We Can Fix It in Editing
Question: This film was originally banned in Germany because of its Nazi content. German audiences finally got to see it decades later, but in a slightly re-edited version. Among the tiny, insignificant changes, the second male character's role was switched to a physicist who had created "delta rays," and was trying to escape a mysterious police force. What was this vastly-improved movie?
Song: "At Da Club" by 50 Cent
Realm: Your Fuzzy Animal Friends
Subrealm: Will Feast on Your Stinking Carcass
Question: In the United States, what animal is responsible for the most human deaths per year? Worldwide, what animal is the biggest killer?
Answer: USA: Deer (from car collisions); Worldwide: Mosquito (from malaria, West Nile, and other viruses).
Song: "Mr. Dieingly Sad" by the Critters
Realm: Putting Women on a Pedestal
Subrealm: Where They Won't Get Their Squishy Parts All Messed Up
Question: Doctors expressed concern in 1899 that a certain frenetic activity would "destroy the feminine organs of matrimonial necessity." What?
Song: "Pop That Coochie" by 2 Live Crew
Realm: The Law of the West
Subrealm: Does Not Apply to Siegfried & Roy
Question: The state of Nevada beat out every other state by doing this first. Doing what first?
Answer: Outlawing gambling.
Song: "Let It Ride" by Bachman-Turner Overdrive
Realm: Narcotic History
Subrealm: Is This Part of the War on Drugs?
Question: The first drug law in U.S. history obligated all Virginians to do what? And for a second point, tell us what this song has to do with the previous one. That's right, bizzitch-- YOU'RE LOOKIN' AT A THREE-POINT PLAY!
Answer: Grow marijuana.
Song: "She's So High" by Tal Bachman; 3-POINT PLAY-- Tal Bachman is the son of Randy Bachman, lead singer for Bachman-Turner Overdrive.
Realm: Her Majesty's Royal Navy
Subrealm: We're Bligh-Curious
Question: What was the last stop for the HMS Bounty, just before the famous Mutiny?
Song: "Sister Christian" by Night Ranger
Realm: More Oceanography
Subrealm: How Low Can You Go?
Question: We won't insult you by asking you to name the deepest part of Earth's oceans. However, we WILL insult you by asking you to name the SECOND-deepest part.
Answer: The Tonga Trench.
Song: "Down in a Hole" by Alice in Chains
Subrealm: Eensy-Weensy Miscellany
Question: What important point did John Napier come up with?
Answer: The decimal point.
Song: "98.6" by Keith
Realm: Bulbous Cheesy Asses
Subrealm: Will Be Phoned In As a Fake 2-Point Team Later Tonight
Question: If you like to watch obese men grinding their sweaty asscrack into people's faces, sure, you can give "The West Wing" a try. But you can't go wrong with pro wrestling's Rikishi. However, Rikishi's older brother also wrestled in the WWF for a few years. What was his character name?
Answer: The Tonga Kid.
Song: "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother" by the Hollies
Subrealm: Do the Math
Question: What would you most likely be doing, if you were looking at an icosahedron in motion?
Answer: Shaking a Magic 8-Ball.
Song: "Ball of Confusion" by the Temptations
Realm: The Family That Sings Together
Subrealm: Gets a Question in Some Dumb Trivia Game Together
Question: The Bee Gees had 3, the Jackson Five had 5. But what Top 40 group had the most siblings? And why do we care so much?
Answer: The Jets (8); they're the only Top 40 group from Tonga.
Song: "Can't You Stop It Now?" by the Mixed Emotions
Realm: The Lure Of Political Power
Subrealm: Don't Fall For Their Lines
Question: This holy object hangs over the chamber of the House of Representatives in that state's capital. It always faces towards the direction of whichever party holds the House majority. Currently, it faces towards the Democrats. What object is this and in which state would you find it?
Answer: The Sacred Cod of Massachusetts.
Song: "Sell Out" by Reel Big Fish
Realm: Vacation Spots
Subrealm: For the Adventurous
Question: If you wanted to visit the pyramids of Malpighi, where would you go?
Answer: Your kidneys.
Song: "Stones" by Neil Diamond
Realm: Blind Actors
Subrealm: The "Gigli" Script Looked Better at the Time
Question: What was atypical about the opening credits for last year's "Daredevil"?
Answer: They were in both English and Braille.
Song: "Fingertips" by Stevie Wonder
Realm: The Olympics
Subrealm: Athletes On a 112,000-Step Program
Question: Are today's Olympians really worse? There is some suspicion that Thomas Hicks, gold medal winner of the 1904 marathon, may have used performance-enhancing drugs. What was the biggest piece of evidence that would suggest this?
Answer: He paused in the middle of the race to take them.
Song: "Muscles" by Diana Ross
Realm: Puppet Trivia
Subrealm: Just Answer the Question, Jerky
Question: Between prank calls on Comedy Central's "Crank Yankers," the camera pans through the town of Yankerville, revealing weird signs and activities. One billboard advertises the All-Virgin Brothel. What is this fine establishment's slogan?
Answer: "You Buy It, You Break It."
Song: "Just a Gigolo" by Dick Hyman
Realm: More Media LIES
Subrealm: At Least the Swaziland Action News Globe Moves in the Right Direction
Question: In March, 2003, Swaziland reporter Phesheya Dube filed regular reports from Baghdad during the Iraqi war. The only trouble was, he wasn't actually in Baghdad. Where was he?
Answer: Hiding in a closet, at the Swaziland radio station.
Song: "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" by the Darkness
Realm: Heavy Metal Madmen, Icelandic Yodelers, and Closeted Punk Rockers
Subrealm: The Radio Format from Hell
Question: Most musical acts don't have any. But the following performers have at least one apiece: Motley Crue, Green Jelly, Agnetha from ABBA, Motorhead, Bjork, Husker Du, and Blue Oyster Cult. They all have what?
Song: "I Love You Period" by Dan Baird
Realm: Yellow Skin, Blue Hair
Subrealm: Do Not Adjust Your Set
Question: Which five recurring Simpsons characters have blue hair?
Answer: Marge, Milhouse, Chief Wiggum, Sherri & Terri (the nasty twins).
Song: "Blueside" by Rooney
Subrealm: S-U-B-R-E-L-M.... D'oh!
Question: When Lisa Simpson is in the spelling bee, all of Springfield is rooting hard for the judgmental yellow genius. As she walks down the street, she's peppered with words from various Springfield folks testing her. What one word does Lisa miss, and how?
Answer: "AC/DC." According to Otto, she forgets the lightning bolt.
Song: "Blew It" by the Shazam
Realm: Sports History
Subrealm: Sports History That Just Won't Quit
Question: What 3 athletes from the four major U.S. sports played professionally in the 1970's, and are still active players today?
Answer: Rickey Henderson & Jesse Orosco (MLB); Mark Messier (NHL).
Song: "Hey Grandpa" by Dramarama
Subrealm: They Got the Kiss-Off
Question: The person who played the title character of one of the highest-grossing films in movie history didn't even receive a screen credit. Name either the character, or the unsung actor.
Answer: Snow White (AKA Adriana Caselotti).
Song: "This Charming Man" by the Smiths
Realm: Hit Movies
Subrealm: Hit Movies Featuring Characters Named "Ichabod"
Question: The film "Sleepy Hollow" contains 18 of these. 18 what?
Song: "Head Games" by Foreigner
Realm: The Academy Awards
Subrealm: And The Oscar Goes To.... UPS
Question: Two major 2003 Oscar nominees did not show up at the ceremony. Who were the absentees, and why weren't they there?
Answer: Roman Polanski-- couldn't show up to collect his Best Director Oscar, because he's still a U.S. fugitive. Donald Kaufman-- couldn't have picked up a Best Original Screenplay Oscar, because he does not exist.
Song: "Ignition" by R. Kelly
Realm: American Industry, and American Stupidity
Subrealm: A Perfect Match
Question: What common product was accidentally invented almost a hundred years ago, when people mistakenly started using the packaging?
Answer: The teabag.
Song: "Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba" by the Mr. T Experience
Realm: This Contest Has Been Editorially Sanitized for Your Protection
Subrealm: So Blow Me
Question: So as not to conceivably offend any human anywhere in the world, many newspapers feed their copy through automatic political correctness language programs, which change questionable words into the inclusive, tolerant kind. Of course, sometimes this safeguard can still go wrong. The September 5, 1994 final edition of Chicago's Northwest Herald newspaper printed a headline referring to what famous airplane?
Answer: The Enola Homosexual. (The precise Page 3 headline was "Atomic Bombers Criticize Enola Homosexual Exhibit.")
Song: "I Guess I'm Just a Little Too Sensitive" by Ivy
Realm: Suspensions of Disbelief
Subrealm: If Only They Had One Across the Rhine, Washington Could've Used It
Question: Where was the world's most famous 10-and-a-half-feet wide bridge with no guard rails?
Song: "Kill the Poor" by the Dead Kennedys
Subrealm: (whistle "Sweet Georgia Brown" music)
Question: The Harlem Globetrotters debuted in 1927. What did they do for the first time in 1968?
Answer: Played a game in Harlem.
Song: "I've Been Everywhere, Man" by Johnny Cash
Realm: Great American Novels
Subrealm: And Unsightly Blemishes
Question: What is Huckleberry Finn's foolproof cure for warts?
Answer: Swinging a dead cat in a graveyard at midnight.
Song: "Smelly Cat" by Phoebe & the Pretenders
Realm: For Math Majors Only
Subrealm: Someone Wake Up Tom Garrity
Question: What mathematical theorem do Russell and Whitehead establish on page 362 of "Principia Mathematica (Vol. I)"?
Answer: "1 + 1 = 2."
Song: "Two Divided By Love" by the Grass Roots
Realm: Sports During Wartime
Subrealm: Home Field Advantage
Question: In 1942, the Army-Navy game was played as scheduled at the Naval Academy. However, because of wartime travel restrictions, 3,200 Navy Midshipmen were ordered to do what?
Answer: Cheer for Army.
Song: "My Own Worst Enemy" by Lit
Realm: The Desk Set
Subrealm: Kuh-chunk, Kuh-chunk, Kuh-chunk
Question: In 2002, the Swingline stapler company debuted the "Rio Red" model. What prompted this release?
Answer: Demand from fans of the movie "Office Space". (In recent years, Swingline had not offered a red stapler model.)
Song: "Grits Ain't Groceries" by Little Milton
Realm: TV Actresses
Subrealm: With Protruding Adam's Apples
Question: What TV series featured a series of six female impersonators during its 17-year run?
Song: "The Bitch is Back" by Elton John
Realm: Movie Dialogue
Subrealm: This is a THREE-POINT PLAY. Name any 3 of the movies for 1 point, or any five for 2.
Question: (Please deliver with the proper inflections): WILMA! ELAINE! STELLA! DOROTHY! ADRIAN! CH-CH-CHICK! KEVIN!
Answer: The Flintstones; The Graduate; A Streetcar Named Desire; The Wizard of Oz; Rocky; Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein; Home Alone.
Song: "Rebel Yell" by Billy Idol
Realm: Break a Leg
Subrealm: They'll Never Feel It
Question: Who made his Broadway debut this summer in "Little Shop of Horrors," despite the small disadvantage of being dead?
Answer: Robert Stack. (His recorded voice narrates the show.)
Song: "Unsolved Mysteries" by Twista
Realm: It's Like a 4-Minute Ultra Bonus!
Subrealm: And It's Worth One-Tenth the Points!
Question: What do the following things have in common: Space Jelly; rubber pants our size; the need for two tongues; a small cucumber; a hippopotamus in a beach thong; why they invented tube socks; burlap that chafes; a monkey who can use dental floss; and Abe Vigoda's pants?
Answer: They're all things Pinky is pondering.
Song: "Complicated" by Poi Dog Pondering
Realm: Behind Closed Doors
Subrealm: Pants are Not Required
Question: What steamy moment of teenage lust occurred in the Room of Requirement?
Answer: Harry Potter's first kiss.
Song: "Hocus Pocus" by Focus
Realm: Fishing For the Lazy
Subrealm: They're Hooked
Question: What substance has mysteriously been found in the fish residing in Lake Lewisville, in Texas?
Song: "Happy Happy Joy Joy" by Stinky Wizzleteats (*accept "Ren & Stimpy")
Subrealm: Last in the Alphabet, And In Your Hearts
Question: In the space of one week in November of 2002, two different Zitos bedevilled many Berkshires sports fans. How?
Answer: Barry Zito beat Pedro Martinez for the Cy Young Award; J.P. Zito caught 3 touchdown passes as Amherst cost Williams its perfect season.
Song: "Everything About You" by Ugly Kid Joe
Realm: Movie Commonalities
Subrealm: Well, They All Have an "R" in the Title
Question: What do the films "The Color Purple," "To Kill a Mockingbird," and "Monsters, Inc." all have in common?
Answer: Characters named "Boo."
Song: "Peekaboo" by Siouxsie and the Banshees
Realm: We're The Music Industry: We Care
Subrealm: Download This!
Question: What was the biggest-selling album to be allowed to go out of print?
Answer: Milli Vanilli's debut.
Song: "Funkytown" by Lipps Inc.
Realm: The March of Science
Subrealm: British Researchers Who Couldn't Land the GOOD Job, Watching Lobsters Get It On Q. Just recently, in 2003, researchers at a University in Greater Manchester, England, finally debunked a popular fallacy being distributed in email. Now that the world knows the truth, just what is it that they proved? A. A duck's quack DOES echo.
Song: "Get Down Tonight" by KC & the Sunshine Band
Realm: Famous Painters
Subrealm: That You Never Heard Of
Question: In an interview, Chuck Jones said that Warner Brothers background painter Paul Julian provided something else to the cartoons besides his artistic talents. What?
Answer: The voice of the Road Runner ("Beep! Beep!").
Song: "Wasting My Time" by the Acme Rock Group
Realm: Homoerotic Spandex Fantasies for Career Virgins
Subrealm: Superhero Comic Books
Question: In comic books, what was a "Fastball Special"?
Answer: When Colossus would pick up Wolverine, and throw him at the bad guys.
Song: "Roll to Me" by Del Amitri
(NOTE: Question #98 was the last to be asked on-air by Click Here to Get Huge.)
Realm: All-Time Great Americans
Subrealm: So Where's His A&E Biography?
Question: He was born in 1950, but lost his pipes in 1987. He gained new popularity in the 90's through featured roles in two hit movies, and was appointed the "Official Travel Ambassador" of Rhode Island in 2000. Who is he?
Answer: Mr. Potato Head.
Song: "The Night Has a Thousand Eyes" by Bobby Vee
Realm: The Postseason
Subrealm: We're Ad-e-quate! We're Ad-e-quate!
Question: Which 3 franchises in the 4 major sports have made the playoffs for the most consecutive years and counting?
Answer: St Louis Blues-- 24; Portland Trail Blazers-- 21; Utah Jazz-- 20. (NOTE: None have won a title during their streaks.)
Song: "So You Win Again" by Hot Chocolate
Realm: Little Magazines
Subrealm: Little Magazine Stuff
Question: The lowest one in the United States belongs to Reader's Digest. What?
Answer: Zip code (00401).
Song: "Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah" by James Baskett (accept "Song of the South")
Realm: Yo Ho Ho
Question: Who survived a Pirate attack in 2003, and received a "Certificate of Bravery" for their perseverance?
Answer: Guido the Italian Sausage. (Guido is one of the 4 meatstuffs who race at every Milwaukee Brewers game, and who got whacked with the baseball bat. The award was given by the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council.)
Song: "The Worst That Could Happen" by the Brooklyn Bridge
Realm: The Obligatory Steve Homer Horse Racing Question
Subrealm: At Least It's Not a Quartet
Question: Last April 20th, something happened in the 7th race at Santa Anita Park for the first time in racing history. The focal point was Stratus. In what position did Stratus finish the race?
Answer: 2nd, and 7th. (There was a second horse in the race also named Stratus. They were both foreign-bred, which circumvented the American Jockey Club rules regarding duplicate names.)
Song: "It Takes Two" by Rob Base & DJ EZ Rock
Realm: Who Ya Gonna Call?
Subrealm: Us! (If You Want Your Points.)
Question: From the classic documentary "Ghostbusters," what five ESP cards were the two students trying to identify?
Answer: Star; circle; square; plus sign (cross); wavy lines.
Song: "I'm Looking Through You" by the Beatles
Realm: Keep It Brief
Subrealm: Too Many Notes
Question: What Top 10 hit had the fewest characters for the song title and the name of the artist, combined?
Answer: "One" by U2 (5 characters).
Song: "I Don't Want Nobody to Get Me Nothing (Open Up the Door, I'll Get It Myself)" by James Brown
Realm: The History of Human Tragedy
Subrealm: Aaron F'N Boone
Question: The first player to have his number retired by the Boston Red Sox was Ted Williams. Next came Joe Cronin. Then Bobby Doerr, and finally Carl Yastrzemski. What inadvertent problem did this cause?
Answer: When posted on the right field stadium facade, their numbers-- 9, 4, 1, and 8-- formed the exact date of the Sox' most recent World Series win. (The numbers have since been rearranged into numerical order.)
Song: "Rockabye Your Baby with a Dixie Melody" by Al Jolson (NOTE: This was the #1 hit on Sept. 4, 1918)
Realm: Love on Film (Non-Paris Hilton Category)
Subrealm: I Promise to Love, Honor, and Carry the 6
Question: What TV series featured a wedding that equalled 185?
Answer: "Get Smart."
Song: "99 Red Balloons" by Nena
Realm: The Needle and the Damage Done
Subrealm: Ooh, the Pretty Pretty Lights
Question: If you stare at the lighted needle atop the Capitol Records building in L.A. long enough, what will you see?
Answer: The word "Hollywood", blinked out in Morse Code.
Song: "Western Union" by the Five Americans
Realm: Ride the Baltimore and Ohio
Subrealm: Let's Roll
Question: A fan of model trains, he designed a train switch for the handicapped so his son, who has cerebral palsy, could operate the trains on his own. He patented the switch; one thing led to another, and eventually he became part owner of the Lionel Train Company in 1995. Who is he?
Answer: Neil Young.
Song: "Marrakesh Express" by Crosby, Stills & Nash
Realm: Where Are They Now?
Subrealm: Inside a Maggot's Colon, I Guess
Question: This erstwhile child actor later found employment as a hunting guide and bartender, boozing and carousing incessantly before meeting an early end at 32 by being shot to death over a $50 gambling debt. Please give us either the name or most well-known role of this ill-fated wild child.
Answer: Carl Switzer, Alfalfa.
Song: "People Got to Be Free" by the Young Rascals
Realm: Well, I Woke Up This Morning, and I Built Myself an Historic Structure
Subrealm: Yes, I Woke Up This Morning, and I Built Myself an Historic Structure
Question: What blues singer shares his name with a famous landmark?
Answer: Taj Mahal.
Song: "Indians" by Anthrax
Realm: Give Me That Old Time Religion
Subrealm: Fire And Brimstone
Question: At the base of Jebel Musa, a Jordanian mountain, is a monastery. There, a fire extinguisher is kept next to the monks most prized possession. What is it?
Answer: What is thought to be the "burning bush".
Song: "In the Bush" by Musique
Realm: Left Wing Radical Feminazis
Subrealm: Mistakes Were Made
Question: Hillary Clinton once threw her support behind this Presidential candidate, perhaps attracted by his liberal views on abortions and gay rights, or maybe by his ceaseless criticism of the Christian right. Which candidate?
Answer: Barry Goldwater.
Song: "Arizona" by Mark Lindsay
Subrealm: Dead Aborigines
Question: This past year, the aborigine who played the lead in "The Gods Must Be Crazy" died. All we want you to do is tell us his name. Is that so much to ask?
Answer: His name was spelled N!xau. It is pronounced: [cluck of the tongue]HOW (Must have correct pronunciation!)
Song: "Click Click Boom" by Saliva
Realm: Otherwise Unremarkable Countries
Subrealm: But It Ain't Tonga
Question: What is the only country in which the name of an inhabitant thereof is a palindrome?
Answer: Nauru. (A citizen is a Nauruan.)
Song: "S.O.S." by ABBA