|
Witness
|
Federal Indictment
|
|---|
| Senator Rachel Barenblat | Perjury |
| Representative Christia Mulvey | Obstruction of Justice |
| President Pro-Temps Jeff Bolas | Abuse of Power Rangers |
| Minister of Tea Tonia Lopez | Malicious Destruction of Federal Property |
| Minority Whip Josh Lawton | Infant Mastication |
| Majorly Whipped Justin Houk | The Sinking of the Lusitania |
| Chief Justice Jasper Rosenberg | Removal of Mattress Tags |
| Secretary of Suede Derek! Hays | Jiving While Intoxicated |
| Secretary of the Month Kim Cleland | Enjoying That ‘70s Show |
| Secretary of Your Interior, Baby! Brian Wecht | Priestiality |
| Funkmaster-General Rich Flynn | Immanentizing the Eschaton |
| Miami Vice President Deanna Zibello | Pandering |
| Nancy Moeur of the Hill People | Philandering |
| The Honorable Betsy Rosenblatt | Philately |
| Special Agent Sandy Ryan | Bad, Bad Juju |
| The Former Mrs. Michael Sullivan | Non-Comic Bludgeoning of a Midget |
| Ombudsman Ethan Zuckerman | Impersonating a Venture Capitalist |
| The Infernal Johnnn Melesky | Harboring a Known Member of GWAR |
| Exchequer Laura Del Borgo | Indecent Booty Shaking |
| Ambassador to Pants Shannon Farley | Consumption of Salsa From New York City |
| Town Crier Amy Johns | Furby Neglect |
| Third Yeoman Jared Levine | Making That Immense Sucking Sound |
| Keeper of the Cheese Aaron Moshiashwili | Teaching Brian the Word "Felch" |
| PTA Baking Committee Chairman Hank Zill | Insertion of the Ram in the Ramalamadingdong |
| The Mad Monk Nathan Day | Transporting Boney M Across State Borders |
| Bob Galloway, Dart Board of the Sith | Wig Trafficking |