| 287 | Pokemon Labolatory |
| 268 | Obi-Wan Cannoli (et al) |
| 251 | Holy Crap! It's The Children of the Corn! |
| 243 | Bear Hangers |
| 237 | Neve Campbell Promised Me Naughty Girl-Girl Action |
| 216 | Tastes Like Turtles |
| 149 | The Manhattan Skyliners |
| 128 | Adam Bloom Needs a Girlfriend, Please Go Out with Adam Bloom, He Is Lonely, Lonely, Lonely |
| 84 | Team Discovery Zone |
| 70 | The Phantom Hype (from Northampton MA) |
| 38 | Bob Ross: Show Us Your Puppies |
| 19 | This Question Can Suck My Butt |
| 19 | You've Got Some Serious-Ass Tender Pulpy Problems |
| 18 | Northwest Connecticut Undertaker Fan Club, San Antonio Division |
| 16 | Hot Derek-On-Derek Action |
| 13 | Bring Me the Feet of Kim Cleland |
| 11 | Marry Me, David Duchovny |
18-43. (NOTE: Due to grotesque computer spasms, I've Got Ives in My Pants did not specifically tabulate or assign any scores under 10 points. For the same reason, it is likely that a few other names (that barely existed anyway) were cast into a bottomless limbo. Surviving single-digit teams follow.)
Adam Schreiber is the One Force Behind All the Rest of Creation
Alice's Cubicle
Boom-Boom the Beverage Wench
Candy
A Canvas Sack Full of Marmosets and a Hacksaw
Capybara
Chock Full O' Outrage
Crow's Nest Boys Hit Too Hard
Diff'rent Drug-Induced Strokes (6 pts.)
Frenchmen Go "Sproing!"
Gray Slide
I Am Evil Homer
I Don't Know What It Is, But It's Tangy
I May Be Stuck in Physics Grad School in San Diego, But I've Got You By the
Balls, Rich Flynn (*from California)
The Lonely Stage Manager Says "Hi" to Des, Rich and Paul (*from New York)
Macho Business Donkey Wrestler (*from Texas)
Monkey Monkey Monkey Monkey Monkey Monkey!
People Who Drove Dom Grillo Here
I Want to Ease Into Mike Veloso's Bosoms
Jeff McMahon is a Traitor
Prospect Is No Longer Spread-Eagled
Scott Canty is Dead, But His Gourd Lives On
Tasmanian Tree-Biters of the North
That Yoda Has Funky Hair
This is a Really Dumb Team Name
Where Are the Tasmanian Tree-Biters?
You Know About the Problems That I've Been Having Being Tender and Pulpy
(Ives in Pants' scorers had their will to live sorely tested this night. Just like Ives had done to them the previous semester ("I've Got Ives/Debussy (For Her Pleasure)/Baby Got Bach/etc."), 2nd-place Obi-Wan Cannoli changed its name hourly. After spending midnight to 1 AM as "Obi-Wan Cannoli," they became "Princess Leia Cake," "Flan Solo," "Tart Vader," "Yoda Pop," "Java the Hutt," "Boba Fetuccine," and "Wedge of Cheese Antilles." Crash, computer, crash!)