MTriVia

(NOTE: Each page had in its upper lefthand corner a special "MTriVia" logo, much like MTV's own. They featured (in order) a map of Tonga, the Llap-Goch Man peeking in, Tonga again, 4 Llap-Goch Men, Tonga again, Llap-Gochy on the other side of the logo, friggin' Tonga again, a scary close-up of the Llap-Goch Man, and (surprise!) Tonga. The cover sheet featured a much larger logo filled with bits of fifteen Llap-Goch Men.)

HELLO! You have just entered the Phasers on Stun: The Next Generation MTriVia SUPER BONUS! Please note that any attempt by your team to identify either the first video ever aired on MTV, or the original five VJs, will result in immediate forfeiture of the contest. One warning should suffice.

SECTION UNO: SOMEONE TOLD ME IT'S ALL HAPPENING AT THE ZOO

MTV obviously enjoys the animal kingdom; otherwise, why broadcast from Florida's spring break? Therefore (?), give us the primary animal in each of the following videos--- and NO, "human" doesn't count.

"Rock the Casbah"-- the Clash
An armadillo.
"Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)"-- Eurythmics
A cow.
"Epic"-- Faith No More
A fish.
"Patience"-- Guns N Roses
A snake.
"One"-- U2 (original version)
Several buffalo.
"Express Yourself"-- Madonna
A cat.
"Leave Me Alone"-- Michael Jackson
Several dogs. (NOTE: The "Leave Me Alone" video also includes lizards, monkeys, snakes, and whatever species Michael belongs to. But mostly dogs. Still, I guess we screwed up.)
"Black or White"-- Michael Jackson (the shocking, unedited censored part, that is!)
A black panther.

SECTION TWO: CAN'T GET THERE FROM HERE

Second verse, same as the first. Except for these videos, we want the primary mode of transportation featured in each.

"Karma Chameleon"-- Culture Club
A New Orleans-style riverboat.
"Father Figure"-- George Michael
A NYC taxicab.
"Time After Time"-- Cyndi Lauper
A train.
"Human Touch"-- Bruce Springsteen
A SF cable car.
"Silent Lucidity"-- Queensryche
A flying bed.
"Deeper Shade of Soul"-- Urban Dance Squad
Skateboards.
"Take On Me"-- a-ha
Cartoon motorcycles.
"Rio"-- Duran Duran
A catamaran clipper ship.

SECTION TROIS: THE ULTRA SECTION

Yes, like the dreaded Ultra Bonus, the groups of videos here all have one particular thing in common, either stylistically or in content. For example, if we gave you the set of "Owner of a Lonely Heart" (Yes), "Back on the Chain Gang" (Pretenders), and "Under Pressure" (David Bowie & Queen), you would naturally observe that all three videos feature the image of crowds of Londoners walking to work in the morning. Sadly, we can't promise that all of them will be quite that obvious.

"Harlem Shuffle"-- Rolling Stones
"Running Down A Dream"-- Tom Petty
"Opposites Attract"-- Paula Abdul
All three videos are wholly or largely animated.
"Jack and Diane"-- John Cougar
"Live and Let Die"-- Guns N Roses
"Handle with Care"-- Travelling Wilburys
All three videos feature baby photos of the performers.
"Safety Dance"-- Men Without Hats
"Shock the Monkey"-- Peter Gabriel
"Get the Funk Out"-- Red Hot Chili Peppers
also: any video by the Geto Boys
All the videos feature midgets.
"Walk of Life"-- Dire Straits
"Jump"-- Pointer Sisters
"Centerfield"-- John Fogerty
All three videos include pro sports clips.
"Someday"-- Mariah Carey
"Centerfold"-- J. Geils Band
"The Longest Time"-- Billy Joel
All three videos are set inside schools.
"The Living Years"-- Mike & the Mechanics
"Pray"-- MC Hammer
"I Want To Know What Love Is"-- Foreigner
All three videos feature gospel choirs.
"China Girl"-- David Bowie
"Justify My Love"-- Madonna
"Black or White"-- Michael Jackson
All three videos were banned or censored. (The first two for sexual content, the Jackson video because of the terrible, awful violence that erupts at the end, when Michael-- dear God, no!-- breaks car windows.)
"Wicked Game"-- Chris Isaak
"One"-- U2
"Got My Mind Set On You"-- George Harrison
All three (or seven, actually) videos exist in multiple versions. (NOTE: "Wicked Game" originally had a dull performance video; a beachside one with a topless babe was quickly created when the song took off. "Got My Mind" had a version set in London pinball arcades, and another with George Harrison in a den where all the furniture is alive. The U2 song had three versions-- an "arty" one with still photos of buffalo, one with a bunch of Berlin images, and one with the U2 gang in drag.)

SECTION FOUR: THE SINCEREST FORM OF FLATTERY

While some videomakers try to push the envelope, others are content to Xerox the envelope. In other words, some videos resort to bare-faced, unashamed ripof-- ahem, HOMAGES to earlier works. Please identify the (cough) "inspiration" for the following videos.

"Material Girl"-- Madonna
Marilyn Monroe singing "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend" (from "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes").
"Running Down a Dream"-- Tom Petty
Winsor McCay's "Little Nemo" comic strip.
"Rush Rush"-- Paula Abdul
The drag race from "Rebel Without a Cause."
"Where The Streets Have No Name"-- U2
The rooftop concert from the Beatles' "Let It Be" movie.
"Express Yourself"-- Madonna
The silent Fritz Lang film "Metropolis."
"Need You Tonight/Mediate"-- INXS (the "Mediate" part)
The 1960s film clip for Bob Dylan's "Subterranean Homesick Blues."
"Wild Thing"-- Tone Loc
Robert Palmer's "Addicted To Love" video.
"Cold Hearted Snake"-- Paula Abdul
The "Air Rotica" dance scene from the movie "All That Jazz."

SECTION FIVE: ALL THE WORLD'S A STAGE

The folowing videos all feature unique performances, either in the demeanor of the artist, or the circumstances in which he/she/it finds him/her/itself performing. Obviously, we'd like an explanation.

"Small World"-- Huey Lewis & News
The entire video is shot in EXTREME close-up.
"If This Is It"-- Huey Lewis & News
The News are buried up to their necks in sand.
"Drive"-- The Cars
The Cars are completely inert throughout the video.
"Touch of Grey"-- Grateful Dead
The band are (until the last chorus or so) skeletons.
"It's Only Rock and Roll (But I Like It)"-- Rolling Stones
The band performs amid neck-high suds and bubbles. (Or in Charlie Watts' case, about a foot above neck-high.)

SECTION FIVE: MOVE IT OR LOSE IT

From the Big Apple to the Funky Chicken to the Bedrock Twist, popular music has been designed to make America move in specific manners. How specific, you ask? Ah, you've anticipated us! The four videos below each contain unusual and unique hand and arm movements; we'd like you to replicate those motions as precisely as your art skills can accomplish. Please draw the Llap-Goch Man performing the required moves (twisted details are ALWAYS appreciated).

SECTION SIX: AND THE REST

Every schoolchild knows what the first video in MTV history was (don't say it!). Can you tell us what was on BEFORE that? That is, the very first image ever broadcast on the network of image?
A rocket ship blasting off (leading to the moonman bouncing around and erecting the MTV flag).
In Aerosmith's "Dude (Looks Like a Lady)," what surprise does the bride provide?
She's a guy! (Really now, could that question BE any easier? What ELSE would it be in a song called "Dude (Looks Like a Lady)"?)
What happens to the bed in Metallica's "Enter Sandman"?
It gets run over by a truck. (Of course, what ELSE would happen to a bed?)
In Guns N Roses "Don't Cry," Axl Rose enters a room, only to find another Axl laying on a table. A third Axl then enters. At this point, what does the first Axl do?
Gives a little hand gesture and walks through a mirror. (Of course, what ELSE would he... ah, forget it.)
The first and last image in Guns N Roses' "Don;t Cry" is the same. What is it?
A baby's eyeball.
At the end of Billy Joel's "Tell Her About It," Rodney Dangerfield tells BJ that his network debut wasn't bad. Rodney then prepares to go onstage himself, to REALLY knock 'em dead. What act bumps Rodney back into the wings?
Renaldo, the Dancing Bear. ("Dancing bear" was enough... hell, "bear" was enough.)
Bon Jovi shot their "Bad Medicine" video via a peculiar gimmick. What?
They gave cheapo video cameras to their fans, and made the video out of the footage they shot. (Allegedly.)
What does George Michael's shirt read, in Wham!'s "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go"?
"CHOOSE LIFE."
What does Tone Loc eventually do with the Funky Cold Medina in (duh!) "Funky Cold Medina"?
He pours it down the sewer.
When the modelling world comes a-calling in Madonna's "Borderline," her boy toy can't handle it. However, her career is not meant to be. What modelling mishap sends her back to a happier life in the barrio?
She spraypaints the photographer's expensive car.
At the end of Bruce Springsteen's "Glory Days," the Boss is pitching an imaginary game of baseball. A kid-- Bruce Jr., we guess-- shows up and asks him, "How'd you do?" Well, how DID he do?
"Nettles got me in the ninth."
Who played the curator at the Rock & Roll Museum, in Run-DMC's "King of Rock"?
Larry "Bud" Melman (or Calvert DeForrest, if you will).
In "Shiny Happy People," R.E.M. dance and cavort in an attempt to jack up their album sales-- er, show other facets of the band's personality. Anyway, as they shimmy, the scenery behind them rolls continuously. What provides the power for this moving backdrop?
An old man on a stationary bicycle.
MTV historians like to claim that the music video has been around for decades, but don't kid yourself. Watching the Beatles ride around on horses while "Strawberry Fields" plays in the back isn't what we call high concept. What was the first true smash hit video, a vehicle which can be said to have performed all the functions of the video as we know it WHILE being thoroughly successful (that means not sitting on David Bowie's shelf in 1972). Hint: It predates MTV by five years. Hint Two: It ran on MTV umpteen zillion times anyway.
"Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen.
Wrestling superstars appeared in THREE Cyndi Lauper videos-- name the three, and name the only person to appear in more than one of 'em.
Captain Lou Albano (in "Girls Just Want to Have Fun," "Time After Time," "She Bop," and "Goonies R Good Enough"). Yeah, we know, that's four videos. Don't bust our balls, okay? The video for "Goonies R Good Enough" claimed it was "to be continued," and we're STILL waiting. But do WE complain?
What two words does George Michael write on his gal's back, in "I Want Your Sex"?
"EXPLORE MONOGAMY."
In "Billie Jean," Michael Jackson had the rather disconcerting habit of illuminating anything he nears, or touches. In the course of the video, his very Michaelness lights up eight objects-- name three.
Sidewalk squares; a sleeping bum; also a quarter and his begging cup; a trashcan; a lightpost; an alley stairwell; the letters "HOTEL" on a neon sign; a canopy bed.
Two of the most-shown videos ever on MTV were First Floor's "Baby Baby" (from Magyar Records' "Turn Left" LP), and the Ian Pearson Band's "Sally" (off Rush Records' "Hot Dogs" album). Okay, we know. You've NEVER heard or seen either of these alleged hits. Ah, but you have, you have. In what context did both of these videos rule MTV's rotation?
They're the two fake videos within Dire Straits' "Money For Nothing."
In the Police's "Wrapped Around Your Finger," what objects does Sting dance through, then knock down?
Tall candlesticks with lit candles.
David Byrne's face is projected via spotlight twice in the Talking Heads' "Burning Down the House." Onto where?
On the side of a house; on the median line of a highway.
What makes the fat guy laugh in R.E.M.'s "Losing My Religion"?
When they pull the wig off the frail old guy.
After a series of outside-the-norm videos, "Losing My Religion" marked the first time Michael Stipe & R.E.M. did something you've seen in a thousand videos. What?
Lip-synch the words.
In "Cradle of Love," Billy Idol shoves his way into a painting, then displaces the original occupant-- who?
Marilyn Monroe (in the Andy Warhol style).
Between her first two albums, Paula Abdul became a big, big star. We mean BIG. They managed to disguise her flab in "Vibeology" by having her dance in an oversized jacket. How was Paula's gut camouflage handled in "Promise of a New Day"?
By artificially stretching the image vertically, making everything abnormally thin.
In Aretha Franklin's "Freeway of Love," what is the license plate of her car (if you don't know, take a guess).
"RESPECT." (Told ya you should've guessed.)
At the beginning of "Been Caught Stealing," what are Jane's Addiction doing?
Riding on 25-cent horsie machines outside a supermarket.
In Aerosmith's "Love in an Elevator," the comely elevator operator is going through her elevator spiel (you know, "second floor, lady's lingerie, bathroom fixtures, notions and appliances for the home, watch your step please") when she sees lead singer Steven Tyler getting in. What question does she ask Steve?
"Oh, Mr. Tyler! Going...DOWN?" (This was pretty darn witty for MTV in 1989.)
In Don Henley's "Boys of Summer," what object is broken by the man behind the desk?
A pencil.
In "You Could Be Mine," Guns N Roses are stalked by Arnold Schwarzenegger as the Terminator. The adoring crowd is too much for Arnold, but he manages to catch up with them at the back exit. As he scans them with his Terminator Vision, what determination is made when he arrives at his "primary target," Axl Rose?
"WASTE OF AMMO."
In "Nobody Told Me," what does John Lennon do with the chess piece?
He eats it.
In Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game," what does the babe-on-the-beach throw into the camera lens?
Her bikini top.
At the beginning of Adam Ant's "Goody Two-Shoes," Mr. Ant finds himself in the same predicament suffered by Prince at the beginning of HIS "Diamonds and Pearls" video--- what?
Both are being chased down a hallway and through a door by reporters.
Living Color's "Cult of Personality" features footage of five famous or infamous men of history. Name two.
Benito Mussolini, Joseph Stalin, Franklin Roosevelt, John Kennedy, Martin Luther King.
Billy Joel spends his time in the "We Didn't Start The Fire" video in front of five burning photographs, some quite famous. Describe two.
The Edsel; the lynching of a black man; a Vietnamese prisoner being summarily shot in the head; Lee Harvey Oswald being shot by Jack Ruby; Oliver North testifying.
Back in 1981, Rick James accused MTV of racism because the network wouln't play his "Super Freak" video, thus impeding the sales. Whether or not Rick's charges were valid (P.S. they were), why is this incredibly ironic in light of a later video that played on MTV 12 times a day, for months?
The "Super Freak" riff was later sampled whole by MC Hammer for his "U Can't Touch This" video, which MTV played to death, once they had embraced black rappers as the flavor they wanted. It was no more or less catchy than "Super Freak."
In the Yes video "Owner of a Lonely Heart," our beleaguered protagonist finds himself trapped on a rooftop, surrounded by materializing bad guys. He lunges, runs, and jumps off the roof--- escaping successfully by a very unlikely tactic. What enables him to survive the jump?
He transforms into an eagle. (Hey, why didn't Karl Wallenda think of that?)
In Michael Jackson's "Bad," a poster is seen on the wall emblazoned, "WANTED FOR SACRILEGE." Whose photo appears on the mug shots beneath?
The video's director, Martin Scorsese (who had recently put out his "Last Temptation of Christ" film).
At the end of Genesis' "Land of Confusion," Ronald Reagan has a problem with buttons. Which button does he want to push, and which one does he actually push by mistake?
While trying to push "NURSE," he mistakenly pushes "NUKE," with the expected result.
Of the nine videos to win MTV's Video of the Year Award, eight are still shown periodically. Why did the ninth-- Neil Young's "This Note's For You"-- win in 1989?
Young's video mocked rock stars and networks who "sold out" to advertising dollars, including Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson. This cut a little too close to MTV's bottom-line policy, and they refused to play the video. When the news of MTV's refusal got out, it made MTV's alleged "rebellious attitude" look really corporate and disingenuous. And so they gave it "Video of the Year" to prove they were still cool. (They still don't play it more than once every year or two, though.)
in Naughty By Nature's "O.P.P." video, we see a "DOWN WIT O.P.P." sticker affixed to a mailbox. Where else is a sticker placed?
On a woman's derriere.
In the Cars' "You Might Think," Ric Ocasek appears in various transformations. We counted twelve-- you name four.
As a coathanger, as a periscope in a bathtub; in a bathroom mirror; inside the woman's mouth (with a jackhammer); as lipstick; inside a prom photo; as King Kong; as an alarm clock; as a housefly; driving a car through the woman's bed; sitting on a sink; and riding a canoe in the sink.
What popular pastime links the videos "I Can't Dance" (Genesis), "Bad to the Bone" (George Thoroughgood), "Beat It" (Michael Jackson), and "Sweet Emotion" (Aerosmith)?
Pool (as in billiards).
Extreme's "More Than Words" is a two-man song, which left the rest of the band on the sidelines. How did the other guys in Extreme spend their time in the video?
Sitting around, holding up cigarette lighters in a concert-like salute.
In Billy Joel's "Pressure," what unusual difficulty does Billy encounter with a shag rug?
He sinks into it, like quicksand.
Okay, MTV is just a chauvinistic smorgasbord of anti-feminist spew, designed to keep young boys in a constant state of semi-tumescence as the T-and-A meat parade ensures that they will never comprehend or appreciate the equality of all womyn. Hey, we've GOT eyes. However, even after accepting the above as gospel, why were the complaints about Tom Petty's "Don't Come Around Here No More" utterly stupid? (To refresh your memory, some women claimed that the video reinforced violent imagery against women, notably in the next-to-last scene. Assuming that the LAST scene is Tom burping.)
The video is a takeoff of Alice in Wonderland; in the last scene, Alice is turned into a cake, and Tom Petty & friends use a knife to cut pieces of cake out of her, and eat them. (O disenfranchisement, where is thy sting?)
In R.E.M.'s "It's the End of the World as We Know It (Etc)," the kid in the shack is surrounded by various items, not including "debris." Twenty of these items are identifiable-- name five.
World globe; football; suitcase; Nerf ball; toy airplane; REM poster; tambourine; old photos; comic book; skateboard; rubber snake; rose; roller skates; toy IRS Records logo man; Michellin Man toy; trashcan; baton; baseball bat; baseball glove; beat-up old couch.
What video, we are assured by its star, "in no way endorses a belief in the occult"? (Hint: It's not by Wilson Phillips.)
Michael Jackson's "Thriller."
Which comedians appear in the following videos:
1. "You Can Call Me Al," by Paul Simon
  Chevy Chase (admittedly we were being loose with the definition of "comedian.")
2. "Bad Medicine," by Bon Jovi
  Sam Kinison.
3. "Don't Worry Be Happy," by Bobby McFerrin
  Robin Williams OR Nathan Lane. (Note: Yes, we know it was Bill Irwin, not Nathan Lane)
According to his ironclad contract with MTV, what four-word phrase MUST be spoken when referring to Michael Jackson, by way of identifying him?
"The King of Pop." (MTV tries to distance themselves from this agreement with typical winking attitude, but still work it in.)
Other than generics (i.e. "The Flintstone Channel"), name any six of the specialty channels from the MTV game show "Remote Control."
There are WAY more than six; however, here's some of them: Sing Along With Colin; Brady Physics; Brady Metaphysics; Remote Control Playhouse; Andy's Diary; Stud Boy; Trivia Delinquent; the Fairie Pixie; Quinn's Bruddah; Leave Out the Beaver; Dead or Canadian?; Hollywood Square; Casey's Big Poll; Private Dicks; Six Feet Under; Home Shopping Channel; Celebrity Cellblock; PHD-TV; Ranger Bob; Babes and Assassins; Bad TV; No Witness News; Celebrity Flesh; the Bon Jovi Network; Think Real Fast; Inside Tina Yothers; and so many, many more.
Name the game show that failed to replace "Remote Control" in our hearts, or (more importantly) the ratings.
"Turn It Up!"
Complete the conversation: "Hey, man, is that 'Freedom Rock'?" "Yeah, man!"
"Well, turn it UP, man!" (No relation to the above game show; it's the two burnouts from the TV ad for the "Freedom Rock" record collection that ran seemingly forever.)