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Final Scores

300 Make Way for Ducklings, Motherfucker

295 Reduces a Mouse to a Souplike Homogenate in 0.3 Seconds

255 The Lighter Side of the Marquis de Sade

164 Into the Hamper with Cousin Jed

154 Wu-Tang Forever!

118 Free if You Call from Work

79 Team Squishy Cow

58 Rule Six 2K

53 Team Sputnik

27 Captivated by the Leathery, Mongoose-Like Beauty of Celine Dion

25 Dollars in Waistline

17 Drink Coke, Do Math

15 Scott Canty is a Mewling, Watery-Eyed Mama's Boy

14 David Duchovny's Lawyers Remind You That You Must Stay 500 Feet Away at All Times

13 Bob and Christia Still Think That Scott Canty Is A Mewling, Watery-Eyed Mama's Boy

13 Jon Young is a Big Fat Bitch

13 I Am Evil Homer

11 Pokemon Did a Bad, Bad Thing

10 The Author of the Midwest Bonus, Currently Vacationing in the South of France

10 His Name is Chris Foxwell, He Doesn't Get Out Much

9 On the Bus With Alan and Orrin, Waiting

9 Nothing Says "Thank You" Like... (deleted)

9 Sage F

8 Don Mattingly Will Never, Ever Be in the Hall of Fame: Get Over It!

8 Tasmanian Tree-Biters of the North

6 I Want to Have Alan Keyes' Love Child

6 I Hate Grapes, All Kinds of Grapes, I Hate Green Grapes, I Hate Purple Grapes, I Hate Grapes with Seeds, I Hate Grapes Without Seeds, I Hate Them Peeled and Unpeeled, I Hate Them Individually, in Bunches and in Small Groups of Twos and Threes, I Fucking Hate Grapes!

5 Joey Jojo Junior Shabadu

4 Sandy Needs a Friggin' Job

4 Chairman Kaga, I Want to Be Your Yellow Bell Pepper

4 An Entire Chorus Line Kicking Barbra Streisand's Ass

3 Nothing Says Love Like Hiring a Hit Man

3 Do Coke, Do Rich

3 The Price is Wrong, Bitch!

2 Marry Me, David Duchovny

2 (Blank) as a Doornail

2 Chicago Wants Permission to Hit Rich

2 Monkeys Flying Out of Thomas Pynchon's Ass

2 What a Delightful Butler, He's So Violent

2 I Want to Bear Your Love Child, Chairman Kaga

2 I Want to Touch the Llama

2 Jeff McMahon is a Traitor

2 Jeff Bolas Isn't a Traitor, But He's Too Swarthy to Fully Trust

2 Black Man Was the First Sensitive Man, Way Before Alan Alda

2 Damn Marv Albert and His Oily Hide

1 Didn't Celine Dion Do the "Top Gun" Theme Song?

1 Red Hot Wolf Nipple Chips

300	Make Way for Ducklings, Motherfucker
295	Reduces a Mouse to a Souplike Homogenate in 0.3 Seconds
255	The Lighter Side of the Marquis de Sade
164	Into the Hamper with Cousin Jed
154	Wu-Tang Forever!
118	Free if You Call from Work
79	Team Squishy Cow
58	Rule Six 2K
53	Team Sputnik
27	Captivated by the Leathery, Mongoose-Like Beauty of Celine Dion
25	Dollars in Waistline
17	Drink Coke, Do Math
15	Scott Canty is a Mewling, Watery-Eyed Mama's Boy
14	David Duchovny's Lawyers Remind You That You Must Stay 500 Feet Away at All Times
13	Bob and Christia Still Think That Scott Canty Is A Mewling, Watery-Eyed Mama's Boy
13	Jon Young is a Big Fat Bitch
13	I Am Evil Homer
11	Pokemon Did a Bad, Bad Thing
10	The Author of the Midwest Bonus, Currently Vacationing in the South of France
10	His Name is Chris Foxwell, He Doesn't Get Out Much
9	On the Bus With Alan and Orrin, Waiting
9	Nothing Says "Thank You" Like... (deleted)
9	Sage F
8	Don Mattingly Will Never, Ever Be in the Hall of Fame: Get Over It!
8	Tasmanian Tree-Biters of the North
6	I Want to Have Alan Keyes' Love Child
6	I Hate Grapes, All Kinds of Grapes, I Hate Green Grapes, I Hate Purple Grapes, I Hate Grapes with Seeds, I Hate Grapes Without Seeds, I Hate Them Peeled and Unpeeled, I Hate Them Individually, in Bunches and in Small Groups of Twos and Threes, I Fucking Hate Grapes!
5	Joey Jojo Junior Shabadu
4	Sandy Needs a Friggin' Job
4	Chairman Kaga, I Want to Be Your Yellow Bell Pepper
4	An Entire Chorus Line Kicking Barbra Streisand's Ass
3	Nothing Says Love Like Hiring a Hit Man
3	Do Coke, Do Rich
3	The Price is Wrong, Bitch!
2	Marry Me, David Duchovny
2	(Blank) as a Doornail
2	Chicago Wants Permission to Hit Rich
2	Monkeys Flying Out of Thomas Pynchon's Ass
2	What a Delightful Butler, He's So Violent
2	I Want to Bear Your Love Child, Chairman Kaga
2	I Want to Touch the Llama
2	Jeff McMahon is a Traitor
2	Jeff Bolas Isn't a Traitor, But He's Too Swarthy to Fully Trust
2	Black Man Was the First Sensitive Man, Way Before Alan Alda
2	Damn Marv Albert and His Oily Hide
1	Didn't Celine Dion Do the "Top Gun" Theme Song?
1	Red Hot Wolf Nipple Chips