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THE FINAL SCORES

301A Judo a Chop Chop Chop
299Lick My Love Pump
295 Costa Rican Volcanoes
283Occam's Toothbrush
271Phasers on Stun
261Turtle Wax
241Joel
191A Large, Vibrating Egg
172The Manhattan Skyliners
162Tu w/ no

(NOTE: The above totals are taken from a hastily handwritten scoresheet that was transcribed in the heat of post-8 AM fatigue. Something tells us that there was never a team simply named "Joel." The team "Tu w/ no" is definitely shortchanged here. Tuna with No Bones? Tungsten with Novocaine? Tupperware with no Lids? Your guess is as unhelpful as ours.)