James Bond

(play tape)

"First there was the dream. Now there is reality." (Drax)

First there was a team named Rule Six. Now there is the James Bond Hour Bonus. This is a great bonus.

"I never go back on a deal. It would be bad for my reputation." (Kristatos)

You have

"...all the time in the world." (Bond)

That is, you have an hour. Don't worry if you can't finish it all.

"I never carry weapons during business hours." (Pussy Galore)

Educate yourself.

"One is never too old to learn from a master." (Mr. Wint)

One note however: we do not recognize "Moonraker" as a Bond movie. It is undeserving of such a title. So, even if you are particularly clueless about a question, we suggest that you do not hazard a guess on "Moonraker."

One final word: hints won't be all that forthcoming, because....

"I'm somewhat of a recluse." (Stromberg)

By the way, the quotes mentioned just now by Rob Kent are indeed spoken by various Bond movie characters. Test your mettle with them, but DO NOT call in answers for them before launching into the bonus.

We would like you to list all the special equipment that you would find on the new Astin Martin DB5.
Bulletproof windscreen; revolving license plates; homing devices (1 large one and one magnetic one that fits in his shoe) with transmitters; smokescreen; oil slick; front machine guns; back bulletproof screen; ejector passenger seat; wheel center spikes. ("Thunderball")
One of the strengths of the Bond movies lies in the existence of many subsidiary characters. who appear in only one film, but leave their mark because of unusual nastiness, a remarkable sense of humor, or even just the token gorgeous body. Please identify the following:
Poor James always seems to get into sticky situations like the ones below. Of course, our hero escapes each and every time, but this ususally involves a little ingenuity and a hell of a lot of luck. Please explain exactly HOW Bond escapes, and name the movie each scene is from.
1. Bond is tied down on a table, spread-eagle (most uncomfortable). A laser beam is cutting the table in half, starting between his feet and continuing towards Bond's.... um..... more private, and need we say, somewhat more important area.
  The clever man TALKS his way out, claiming to know more than he really does. Goldfinger accepts the bluff, realizing the risk he would be taking, on the off-chance that Bond really had known something of importance about Operation Grand Slam. ("Goldfinger")
2. Our hero is on his knees in a train car, with his hands in the pockets of his jacket. He has no weapons upon his person, and his adversary has a gun pointed at him (horrors!). Quite unfortunately, this particular killer kills for the sheer enjoyment of it, and has taken a strong dislike to "old man" Bond.
  Bond appeals to a base instinct: greed. He offers Nash (Grant) 50 gold sovereigns that are in his briefcase. What Nash doesn't know is that as soon as he flips the locks of the briefcase, the damn thing will explode in his face. ("From Russia With Love")
3. Bond and his lovely female companion are tied together on a winch, suspended above shark-infested waters in an island sea cave. Blood is dripping from slashes on James' forearm, which does wonders in exciting the malevolent beasts below. Oh, no! The winch is about to descend!
  Luckily, Q has supplied Bond with a wonderful wristwatch, which can be turned into a powerful magnet. Bond uses this to attract a compressed-air bullet from a table. The watch then turns into a rotary saw, and Bond cuts the bonds (ha ha) that tie him. He swings onto shore and into a scuffle, the amusing result of which is that Mr. Big is unfortunate enough to swallow the bullet. Upon chewing, the villain zooms up to the ceiling, explodes, and ends up, well, everywhere. ("Live and Let Die")
4. Bond and his woman are tied together (again) at the end of a rope attached to a motorboat. The poor devils are about to be dragged through (again) shark-infested seas, with a liberal amount of razor-sharp and extremely nasty coral sprinkled on the sea floor, ready to cut them to shreds.
  Bond uses the coral to cut the ropes. He has time to do this by diving before the motorboat really picks up speed, though his back does get rather shredded. Remember the air tank left on the sea floor earlier in the film (at the archaelogical site)? It comes in very handy now. ("For Your Eyes Only")
5. Bond is struggling with a villainous sidekick in, of all places, a swimming pool. Again (this is becoming repetitive) there are sharks present. Actually, this time a metal sheet rolls over the surface of the pool, and the sharks enter through a hatch that connects their pool with the one James Bond is in.
  Bond uses another handy Q gadget to breathe with, drowns his opponent, and then waits until the sharks have swum through the hatch before using the same hatch to escape through. ("Thunderball")
Among his many talents, James Bond is a master of the pun. Please explain the following lines, and give which movie they are from.
1. "No sense in going off half-cocked."
  Bond has just initiated Solitaire into the wonderful world of sex. He is preparing to leave when this woman, novice though she may be, invites him back to bed. ("Live and Let Die")
2. "Just being disarming, darling."
  Bond and Tee Hee have just concluded their scuffle in a train car. Poor old Solitaire is shut up inside a folding bed. Tee Hee had a mechanical arm, but Bond uses nail clippers to cut the controlling wires, locking Tee Hee to the window frame. He then tosses the man out the window, leaving the arm behind. The above is Bond's explanation as he disposes of the arm. ("Live and Let Die")
3. "I'm Plenty."
  "I'm sure you are, dear."
  Plenty O'Toole introducing herself to 007 in a casino at the Whyte House. ("Diamonds are Forever")
4. "I was just out walking my pet rat, and I appear to have lost my way." (Well, this one isn't a pun, but it's funny anyway.)
  Some workmen have just unscrewed a manhole cover-like disk in the middle of the empty desert--- leading to the underground piping where Wint and Kidd had left 007 entombed. Out climbs Bond, in full tuxedo, to the workers' astonishment. ("Diamonds are Forever")
5. "I think he got the point."
  Bond is on the beach with Domino, when Vargas approaches with a gun. James whirls around just in time to impale him with a harpoon to the chest. ("Thunderball")
6. "Just keeping the British end up, sir."
  Bond and Anya are afloat in a waterproof orb/ kingsized bed. The floating sphere drifts to the center of the Russian-British aquatic headquarters. M and Anya's boss question what activities are taking place inside. ("The Spy Who Loved Me")
7. "I felt a sudden stiffness coming on."
  Bond (alias Sir Hilary Bray) is seated at a fancy dinner, when he feels a guest writing her room number on his leg with lipstick. This prompts the above excuse for departing the table and its company. ("On Her Majesty's Secret Service")
8. "He always did have an inflated opinion of himself."
  This line salutes the end of Mr. Big (Kananga) after he has consumed a compressed-air bullet and exploded. ("Live and Let Die")
9. "This never happened to the other guy."
  (Again, not a pun, but a memorable line nevertheless.)
  From "On Her Majesty's Secret Service," one-time actor George Lazenby rues that being bettered by a villain or a woman never happened to "the other guy," namely the departed Sean Connery.