| Score | Team | |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | 270.5 | Minnesota Pigpen |
| 2 | 269.0 | Ace Deuce |
| 3 | 237.5 | They Stole Our President; Now We've Got to Steal Our Books Back (Northwestern Edition) |
| 4 | 192.0 | We're Not Bluffing. We're Not Bluffing. I'm Bluffing. |
| 5 | 191.5 | The Large Hard-on Collider and the Tiny Black Holes |
| 6 | 171.5 | The Aristocrats |
| 7 | 161.0 | You Ask a Glass of Water |
| 8 | 155.0 | BOMO |
| 9 | 142.5 | Culex Pipiens |
| 10 | 140.0 | The Singing Hitlers |
| 11 | 122.0 | Team Squishy Cow |
| 12 | 115.0 | Star Trek Reboot, Yeah! |
| 13 | 108.5 | Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus |
| 14 | 106.5 | A-C-Phlegm... |
| 15 | 100.0 | Zap to the Extreme! |
| 16 | 79.5 | Viva La Cameron |
| 17 | 68.5 | Dogs and Cats Living Together |
| 18 | 63.0 | Hersuith |
| 19 | 57.5 | 4 Pounds of Slimy Cephalopod Down Your Pants |
| 20 | 54.5 | The Lobster's in the Pot. Devour! Devour! |
| 21 | 26.0 | Blaine is a Pain, and That is the Truth |
| 22 | 8.5 | Bite My Shiny Metal Ass! |
| 23 | 7.5 | Combo Za |
| 24 | 3.0 | Homeless Accredidation |
| 25 | 0.0 | First Dom DeLuise, Then Dom DiMaggio - Please, God, Save Dom Grillo! |
Though the full impact of the minute-by-minute scoring drama was obscured by website funkiness, Minnesota Pigpen's 1.5-point victory ended up being the tightest Williams Trivia contest since the overtime game of 1996 won by We Make Holes In Teeth! thirteen years earlier. It was the fifth-closest win on record:
| Winter 1986 | We Begin Bombing in Five Minutes wins by 1/15th of 1 point, in overtime. |
| Spring 1996 | We Make Holes in Teeth! wins by 1 point, in overtime. |
| Spring 1972 | Bayonettes wins by 2 points, in overtime. |
| Spring 1986 | The Giant Pygmies of Beckles wins by 1 point. |
| Spring 2009 | Minnesota Pigpen wins by 1.5 points. |
(*The Winter 1991 contest was also credited as a 1-point win, but both the margin and the winner had been changed by request.)
Long-distance champion Minnesota Pigpen also became the first all-non-Williams team ever to win Williams Trivia. They're normally associated with the annual KVSC radio trivia contest that's been played from St. Cloud, Minnesota since 1980. (However, they'll only be the second all-non-Williams team to run Trivia. In December, 1994, the hosting team How Dare They Challenge Us With Their Primitive Skills? had no Williams students or alumni on its roster. However, they had had a few authentic Ephs while winning in May 1994.)
As befits the final score, the top two teams were neck and neck down the stretch. A strong set of late bonuses inched the Pigpen just ahead of the top on-campus team, Ace Deuce. The runners-up played out of Mission and Armstrong, and were the only full live-and-in-person Williamstown team. In recent years, the contest has become largely an online event, and Spring 2009 continued that trend. Third-place Northwestern was a group of contest veterans playing out of Pittsburgh. We're Not Bluffing was the latest installment of the Los Angeles team headed by Betsy Rosenblatt. Large Hard-On Collider hailed from Illinois, You Ask a Glass of Water played in Michigan, and the three-person BOMO revival came from two New York locations.
Culez Pipens claimed five ports of call on two continents, including a small Williamstown presence. The Aristocrats came from Parts Unknown. 10th-place Singing Hitlers was also the 17th-place Dogs and Cats Living Together. They'd inadvertantly won Williams Trivia the previous year as the 2-player Stink, Stank, Stunk! and didn't want to take the slightest risk of repeating. (No worries in 2009; adding the Hitlers' score to Dogs and Cats' would only have lifted them into 4th.)
Hitlers/Dogs came from New York City, as did another regular 2-player entry, Team Squishy Cow. Virginia's Star Trek Reboot (aka Jared Levine) was the highest-placing one-man team this time, finishing 12th. Finishing just behind were a pair of teams from California: Mega Shark and A-C-Phlegm. The two-player Zap to the Extreme! got their 100th point in the final moments of the contest, thus becoming the 15th team to reach double digits this semester. Other one-player squads were situated in Cincinnati, Belchertown, MA, Pittsfield, and Northern Virginia. The last team listed (with 0 points) was duly submitted for registration but never made the website.