Contest Main Page

The Mysterious 1994 Answer Key

December 11, 1994: Trivia players arriving at the WCFM radio station to pick up bonuses at midnight collected The Steeplechase Super Bonus, the Children's Lit Montage Hour Bonus..... and this, a document whose precise purpose has never been properly ascertained.

All I can say is that when we found out too late that every team had taken a copy of this answer key, well, it was just a doggone good thing we'd sohappened to have prepared a full 100-question/song backup contest. (Good advice for anybody out there, by the way.)

PRIMITIVE SKILLS TRIVIA CONTEST---SECRET ANSWER KEY FOR OUR EYES ONLY---DO NOT DISTRIBUTE!!

  1. "How Dare They Challenge Us With Their Primitive Skills?"
  2. Police Academies 1, 2, 4, 5, and 6,but NOT 3.
  3. Because of the sores.
  4. Welcome Back, Kotter, Chico And The Man and Shoah.
  5. A 5-inch section of the abdomen.
  6. Each of the novels was written exclusively in chalk.
  7. Tubs of viscous goo.
  8. William "The Refrigerator" Perry.
  9. August 20, 1897, at 6:20 in the evening.
  10. Eleven herbs and spices.
  11. Hair in a can.
  12. Hair in a can.
  13. Hair in a can.
  14. Hair in a can.
  15. Hair in a can.
  16. The scar tissue makes it impossible to weigh.
  17. "Nanu, nanu."
  18. In the attic.
  19. Trick Question: acceptance speeches cannot be heard in outer space.
  20. Ace Frehley--14; Paul Stanley--31; Gene Simmons--5; Peter Criss--102.
  21. It carries its young in its anus.
  22. Where In The World is Carmen Sandiego?
  23. The 2 "Dakota" states are "North" Dakota and "South" Dakota.
  24. All of them featured Scott Baio in drag.
  25. Baba Booie!
  26. He was originally Elmer Fuddoskowoskolefkowitz the 3rd.
  27. You cannot donate teeth.
  28. Xenon, curium and tin.
  29. A) Because of his lactose intolerance;
    B) Because of his abrupt spasmotic thrusting;
    C) And just because!
  30. It was the only chapter of the Bible ever printed on fiberglass.
  31. "Property of Tom" "Property of Roseanne"
  32. The devastating camel clutch.
  33. Cop Rock.
  34. A "Berliener" is a jelly doughnut.
  35. To symbolize the love of birds.
  36. Because "OKOY" spelled backwards is "Yoko."
  37. He got the nickname because he used to be a coach.
  38. The lowly ocelot.
  39. The Tin Woodsman didn't have testicles.
  40. Spud Webb.
  41. Nobody invented oxygen; it was always just there.
  42. "Renuzit doozit!"
  43. With his feet encased in cement, he was forced to paint.
  44. A) The New York Metropolitans
    B) The New York Knickerbockers
    C) The New York Yankee-ee-ees
  45. It was the only novel ever written without using the letter "E."
  46. The goddamn "Gadsby" question has now been asked in SEVEN contests!
  47. He is not an actual frog,just a green sock puppet.
  48. Professor Plum.
  49. His eyepatch actually hid a second nose.
  50. The young kid who lived briefly with the Bradys was named Orville; he was accidentally beheaded by falling scenery.
  51. Whoville.
  52. Because there's so many of the bugs to capture.
  53. They're all types of yarmulkes.
  54. Aunt Harriet was added so that viewers wouldn't get the mistaken impression that Bruce Wayne's young ward was actually sucking his thick, manly penis--the foreskin parting as the shaft strained upwards, ever upwards, eager to be gripped firmly within Burt Ward's succulent lips for the ultimate in man-boy action, before the sudden release, oh-h-h, sweet, sweet release--at the request of ABC-TV executive (TEAMS MUST ANSWER EXACTLY FOR CREDIT)
  55. Chief O'Hara was added so he could help Commissioner Gordon.
  56. The Keebler Elves.
  57. It's the precise epicenter of Marseilles.
  58. CDs replaced the LP because record companies can charge so much more money for them.
  59. Cow tipping is legal in Montana.
  60. The skin comes off in chunks.
  61. Peanut.
  62. Stedman does not love Oprah.
  63. The name is a misnomer, because the Giants are actually no larger than the other players in the league.
  64. Die Really, Really Hard This Time
  65. Wheat.
  66. A) Because they didn't give out Oscars until 1929.
    B) Because the Monroe Doctrine was not a film.
  67. Zsa Zsa, Eva, and Shecky.
  68. Gaylord and Perry Houses were actually named after spitball pitcher Gaylord Perry.
  69. Love--American Style
  70. Plasma, plasma, and more plasma!
  71. Golf.
  72. Minute Mouse.
  73. "I'm not ready for this, Merv!"
  74. The original ending featured Ilsa staying with Rick,the Cafe being sold, and the Nazis winning World War II.
  75. Cabin Boy.
  76. The cat's pajamas.
  77. John Wayne--Marion Morrison
    Ringo Starr--Richard Starkey
    Jesus Christ--Andrew Yownley
    Judy Garland--Frances Gumm
    Tom Cruise--Heeblewenziko d'Foogy
  78. "Kills bugs dead."
  79. The dish was named after the singer, Meatloaf.
  80. Itchy And Scratchy.
  81. Blue.
  82. The major difference between Roddy Piper and God is that God never got to be Intercontinental Champ.
  83. He got the name because he was more super than other men.
  84. "M
  85. Peel, we're needed."
  86. A tattoo in the shape of Art Garfunkel.
  87. First you shave the gerbil; then you roll it in the cocaine.
  88. The Search For Spock; The Voyage Home; Generations; Uhuru's Quest; This Time It's Personal; Set Your Phasers On Love.
  89. Krunk.
  90. Satan's whiskers.
  91. 1,000--1 to hold the lightbulb, and 999 to turn the house.
  92. Beavis just wouldn't do that.
  93. Star Trek fan--"Trekkie"
    Grateful Dead fan--"Deadhead"
    Garrison Keillor fan--"Utterly worthless moronic loser"
  94. Phenoxybenzyl, dimethyl, cyclohexene, dicarboximide, salt.
  95. "Sing Along With Colin"
  96. Pac-Man;
  97. Pac-Man; Baby Pac-Man; Uncle Pac-Man; Pac-Man Junior; Generalissimo Pac-Man; Shaq-Man; It's Pac, Man.
  98. If you took the bones out, it wouldn't be crunchy, would it?
  99. Charles Manson, Brooke Shields, Daisy Fuentes, Morley Safer.
  100. Hadrian'sWall.
  101. It's the most successful film with the word "Jurassic" in the title.
  102. Not only can't we name every man to play James Bond, we don't give a flaming rat's ass, and we spit on those who do know.
  103. Curious George; Curious George Goes To The Hospital; Curious George Flies A Kite; Curious George Experiences Self-Doubt; Curious George Goes To Rwanda; Curious George Gets A Table Dance.
  104. "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go."
  105. Oh yeah, before we forget....Tonga!
  106. Hair in a can.