| DES: | I'm Des! |
| DOM: | I'm Dom! |
| DES: | From Trivia.com! |
| DOM: | And we were both alive when L.B.J. fought Vietnam! |
| DES: | We're old! |
| DOM: | We're frail! |
| DES: | It's quite the tragic tale! |
| DOM: | And we never, ever, never, ever thought that we'd prevail! |
| DOM: | I'm Dom! |
| DES: | I'm Des! |
| DOM: | Or Desi, like Arnaz! |
| DES: | But you may call us "les grande suckers," if you speak Francaise! |
| DOM: | We've played! |
| DES: | A while! |
| DOM: | We're very versatile! |
| DES: | You may not quite believe it, but our pants were once in style! |
| DES: | We've played! |
| DOM: | For years! |
| DES: | Outlasted all our peers! |
| DOM: | Through happenstance, this hobby has turned into our careers! |
| DOM: | And thus! |
| DES: | Last spring! |
| DOM: | Occurred a gruesome thing! |
| DES: | We started out in first place, which had a familiar ring! |
| DES: | We took! |
| DOM: | The lead! |
| DES: | A lead we did not heed! |
| DOM: | And much to our chagrin, it was a solid lead indeed! |
| DOM: | We weren't! |
| DES: | Afraid! |
| DOM: | We knew that we would fade! |
| DES: | But that just didn't happen, even though we begged and prayed! |
| DES: | The teams! |
| DOM: | They quit! |
| DES: | They went and left us "it"! |
| DOM: | And suddenly it dawned on us that we were in deep... and troublesome difficulties! |
| DOM: | We Stink! |
| DES: | It Stank! |
| DOM: | And we know who to thank! |
| DES: | I told you that we should have turned in our last Super blank! |
| DES: | It Stank! |
| DOM: | It Stunk! |
| DES: | It's all your fault, you skunk! |
| DOM: | We never would have won, except you said, "Hey, let's play drunk!" |
| DOM: | So that's! |
| DES: | Our plight! |
| DOM: | What happened wasn't right! |
| DES: | Such cruelty to your elders, it was really impolite! |
| DES: | To solve! |
| DOM: | This mess! |
| DES: | We sent an S.O.S.! |
| DOM: | And luckily a few good souls wrote back to answer yes! |
| DOM: | It's thanks! |
| DES: | To them! |
| DOM: | We're here at 12 a.m.! |
| DES: | They gave us extra bonuses, and every one a gem! |
| DES: | They all! |
| DOM: | Are saints! |
| DES: | And don't you say they ain't! |
| DOM: | We'll beat you till you're bloody if you register complaints! |
| DOM: | Well, that's! |
| DES: | Our song! |
| DOM: | It wasn't too prolonged! |
| DES: | And now it's time for Trivia, where nothing can go wrong! |
| DES: | You think! |
| DOM: | We're done? |
| DES: | We've actually BEGUN! |
| DOM: | Because the last line of this song blends into QUESTION ONE..... |