| Number | Quote | Song | Artist |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | After the turn of the century | Snoopy vs. the Red Baron | The Royal Guardsmen |
| 2 | it started with | Game of Love | Santana |
| 3 | the Supreme Court. | Smut | Tom Lehrer |
| 4 | Five of them were foolish and | Deck of Cards | Wink Martindale |
| 5 | handed him | The Gambler | Kenny Rogers |
| 6 | the greatest gift of all... | We Are the World | USA for Africa |
| 7 | the White House. | I'm Just a Bill | Schoolhouse Rock |
| 8 | That's the way the whole thing started. Silly, but it's true. | Bus Stop | The Hollies |
| 9 | For a while it was nice | Juicebox | The Strokes |
| 10 | and so peaceful until | It's Oh So Quiet | Bjork |
| 11 | Rice, Rice, baby | Rice Rice Baby | Weird Al Yankovich |
| 12 | forgot to mention one little thing. | Santa Baby | Eartha Kitt |
| 13 | An evil mind | Secret Agent Man | Johnny Rivers |
| 14 | He wore a big old turban wrapped around his head | Ahab the Arab | Ray Stevens |
| 15 | Comin' to GETCHA! | Foxey Lady | The Jimi Hendrix Experience |
| 16 | She was supposed to | Golddigger | Kanye West |
| 17 | giving you a warning | Moonlight Feels Right | Starbuck |
| 18 | I heard she threw the letter away. | Billy Don't Be a Hero | Paper Lace |
| 19 | And as I sat there | Is That All There Is? | Peggy Lee |
| 20 | in the classroom, cool and slow | Charlie Brown | The Coasters |
| 21 | while the walls come tumbling down | Everybody Wants to Rule the World | Tears for Fears |
| 22 | I'm sad because My Goat | I'm Sad the Goat Just Died Today | The Frogs |
| 23 | ended much too soon. | Oh What a Night | The Four Seasons |
| 24 | Only God knows where the story ends | No More Drama | Mary J. Blige |
| 25 | You took advantage of | I Can See for Miles | The Who |
| 26 | The terror of | Little Old Lady from Pasadena | Jan & Dean |
| 27 | the situation. | Layla | Derek & Dominoes |
| 28 | Just one thing. | Monster Mash | Bobby 'Boris' Pickett |
| 29 | Did you forget about | You Oughta Know | Alanis Morissette |
| 30 | the one responsible? | Farewell Andromeda | John Denver |
| 31 | What was that promise that you made? | Touch Me | The Doors |
| 32 | Wanted dead or alive | Wanted Dead or Alive | Bon Jovi |
| 33 | I said "whaaaat?" | Undercover Angel | Alan O'Day |
| 34 | I don't blame him 'cause he run and hid | A Boy Named Sue | Johnny Cash |
| 35 | in Afghanistan | We Didn't Start the Fire | Billy Joel |
| 36 | he was a friend of mine. | Nightshift | The Commodores |
| 37 | We won't be searching anymore | The Morning After | Maureen McGovern |
| 38 | Now it's time to go | Sultans of Swing | Dire Straits |
| 39 | somewhere else. | American Girl | Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers |
| 40 | I want Iraq! | I Wanna Rock | Twisted Sister |
| 41 | This is what we've waited for | 99 Love Balloons | Nena |
| 42 | At last the country's going to war! We're going to war! This is a fact we can't ignore! We're going to war! This is a fact we can't ignore! We're going to war! In case you haven't heard before, I think they think we're going to war. I think they think we're going to war. | We're Going to War | The Marx Brothers |
| 43 | We can do whatever we want to | Hey Delilah | Plain White T's |
| 44 | it's just that | Sexyback | Justin Timberlake |
| 45 | we've got to verify it LEEEgally | Ding Dong the Witch Is Dead | Wizard of Oz |
| 46 | to the United Nations. | Summertime Blues | Eddie Cochran |
| 47 | And out comes the Powell | Out Come the Freaks | Was (Not Was) |
| 48 | The puppet makes you smile. | Holiday | The Bee Gees |
| 49 | Deliver and give a speech with vigor | Jingling Baby | LL Cool J |
| 50 | about some useless information. | Satisfaction | The Rolling Stones |
| 51 | Twenty-seven 8x10 colored glossy pictures with the circles and arrows, and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each one was, to be used as evidence. | Alice's Restaurant | Arlo Guthrie |
| 52 | Look out, kid, they keep it all hid | Subterranean Homesick Blues | Bob Dylan |
| 53 | in a hiding place where no one ever goes. | Mrs Robinson | The Lemonheads |
| 54 | Aluminum | Why Does the Sun Shine | They Might Be Giants |
| 55 | tubes and wires (and careful notes) | She Blinded Me with Science | Thomas Dolby |
| 56 | a potential H-bomb | God Save the Queen | The Sex Pistols |
| 57 | Two words: nuclear fucking weapons, okay? | Asshole | Dennis Leary |
| 58 | But they all disappear from view. | I Only Have Eyes for You | The Flamingos |
| 59 | And don't spend your time lookin' around for something you want that can't be found. | Bare Necessities | The Jungle Book |
| 60 | Statues crumble for me. | Fly | Sugar Ray |
| 61 | This whole damn thing | With a Little Love | Paul McCartney & Wings |
| 62 | belongs to us. | Because the Night | 10,000 Maniacs |
| 63 | Mission | Missionary Man | Eurythmics |
| 64 | Accomplished | It Only Takes a Minute | Tavares |
| 65 | But you know sometimes words have two meanings. | Stairway to Heaven | Led Zeppelin |
| 66 | Could it be our boy's done something rash? | Mack the Knife | Bobby Darin |
| 67 | We're caught in a trap. | Suspicious Minds | Elvis Presley |
| 68 | Am I asking too much for you to stick around | Lightnin' Strikes | Lou Christie |
| 69 | for a hundred years? | Don't Pull Your Love | Hamilton Joe Frank & Reynolds |
| 70 | It means forever, and that's a mighty long time. | Let's Go Crazy | Prince |
| 71 | And there's no way home | Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough | Patty Smyth |
| 72 | unless it's horizontally. | Physical | Olivia Newton-John |
| 73 | Please make this stop, stop, stop! | 1985 | Bowling for Soup |
| 74 | Why do you think you here? | Rehab | Amy Winehouse |
| 75 | Oh, freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom! | Think | Aretha Franklin |
| 76 | Hope to keep us safe. | The Space Between | Dave Matthews Band |
| 77 | Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie. | The Boxer | Simon & Garfunkel |
| 78 | Try again. | Jane Says | Jane's Addiction |
| 79 | Oil, that is... black gold... Texas tea. | Beverly Hillbillies theme | No artist needed |
| 80 | Cannot make it any more obvious. | Sk8er Boi | Avril Lavigne |
| 81 | If you had one shot, or one opportunity to seize everything you ever wanted... | Lose Yourself | Eminem |
| 82 | I'm a pimp in every sense of the word, bitch. | Big Pimpin | Jay-Z |
| 83 | Now here's my scandal. | Baby Got Back | Sir Mix-A-Lot |
| 84 | Picking up the prisoners, and puttin' 'em in a pen | All She Wants to Do is Dance | Don Henley |
| 85 | with brutality | What's Going On | Marvin Gaye |
| 86 | and they ain't wearin no clothes. | The Streak | Ray Stevens |
| 87 | It happens more than I'd like to admit | Self-Esteem | The Offspring |
| 88 | but the press let the story leak. | Me & Julio Down By the Schoolyard | Paul Simon |
| 89 | Someday we'll look back on this and it will all seem funny. | Rosalita | Bruce Springsteen |
| 90 | Yeah? Well, I can't see anybody else smiling in here. | Common People | Pulp |
| 91 | Meanwhile, back in the states | Stranded in the Jungle | The Cadets |
| 92 | checkin' out the weather chart | Blinded By the Light | Manfred Mann |
| 93 | down in New Orleans. | House of the Rising Sun | The Animals |
| 94 | Help me, help me, help me | Sunny Afternoon | The Kinks |
| 95 | drowning slowly | Brick | Ben Folds Five |
| 96 | and I live by the river. | London Calling | The Clash |
| 97 | I can't hear a word they're saying. | Everybody's Talkin | Nilsson |
| 98 | Let's take it slow. | Let's Wait Awhile | Janet Jackson |
| 99 | Somebody'll see you | Life During Wartime | Talking Heads |
| 100 | eventually | Creeque Alley | The Mamas & Papas |
| 101 | in a week or two. | Paperback Writer | The Beatles |
| 102 | Soon maybe, but until we do | I Go To Pieces | Peter & Gordon |
| 103 | keep your nose up in the air | Money Maker | Ludacris with Pharrell |
| 104 | float, float on, you better float. | Float On | The Floaters |
| 105 | DeFEND yourself! | Bop Gun | Parliament Funkadelic |
| 106 | I don't care what people say | Rock and Roll is Here to Stay | Danny & the Juniors |
| 107 | I'm not a perfect person. | The Reason | Hoobastank |
| 108 | I do not feel ashamed. | Bitch | Meredith Brooks |
| 109 | If any of you are offended | Shaving Cream | Benny Bell |
| 110 | you know what to doooo | Hey Ya! | Outkast |
| 111 | tell the world | Where the Boys Are | Connie Francis |
| 112 | kiss my ass. | Friends in Low Places | Garth Brooks |
| 113 | They all hate us anyhow. | Political Science | Randy Newman |
| 114 | Eight years have come and gone | She Works Hard for the Money | Donna Summer |
| 115 | while you were | Wind Beneath My Wings | Bette Midler |
| 116 | sleeping on the job. | Raindrops Keep Fallin on My Head | B.J. Thomas |
| 117 | Oh it's so nice | Nice To Be With You | Gallery |
| 118 | just to see you go. | That Thing You Do! | The Wonders |
| 119 | Sorry, there's no legacy for you now. | Blood on the Scarecrow | John Mellencamp |
| 120 | It all amounts to nothing in the end. | The Remedy | Jason Mraz |
| 121 | As the complete and utter failure | Medical Song | Monty Python |
| 122 | you're best forgotten | Broadway | Goo Goo Dolls |
| 123 | you big disgrace. | We Will Rock You | Queen |
| 124 | Everything you did, and everything you said | The Way That I Love You | Ashanti |
| 125 | was nothing but an awful | I Believe I Can Fly | R. Kelly |
| 126 | terrible time in America. | America | West Side Story |
| 127 | Is there a place for the hopeless sinner who has hurt all mankind? | One Love | Bob Marley |
| 128 | Texas! Yeah, Texas! | Thunderstruck | AC/DC |
| 129 | The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote: stink, stank, stunk! | You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch | Thurl Ravenscroft (artist not necessary) |