#1
Realm: Trivia Traditions
Subrealm: Don't worry - the next question is a real one.
Question: It claims to have the best happy hour in San Francisco, and regularly features the top 40 band Mirage. What's the name of this restaurant?
Answer: The Tonga Room
Song: "Mortal Wombat"
#2
Realm: Living nightmares.
Subrealm: I'd choose the assassins, too.
Question: When the Shah of Iran's son, Reza Pahlavi, spoke at Williams in April, he noted one thing that he'd be even more terrified to have to face than a squad of clerical assassins. What was it?
Answer: A Williams Poli-Sci exam
Song: "We Gotta Get Out of This Place" - Animals
#3
Realm: Bench-Clearing Brawls
Subrealm: And the short balding men who love them
Question: During the fifth game of the 1997 NBA playoff series between the Knicks and the Heat, a huge fight broke out between the two teams. Where was Knick coach Jeff Van Gundy during most of this melee?
Answer: Hanging off the leg of Heat center Alonzo Mourning
Song: "You Keep Me Hanging On" by the Supremes
#4
Realm: The three greatest movies ever
Subrealm: At least the alums will be off the phones soon.
Question: In the three original Python movies, Terry Gilliam's characters die on-screen in no less than seven different ways. For 1 point, name four ways his characters die, and for 2 points name all seven.
Answer: Holy Grail - Gets sudden heart attack as the animator, gets impaled by the Black Knight as the Green Knight, gets chewed up by the rabbit as Bros, gets thrown off a bridge as the Bridgekeeper
Life of Brian - Doesn't die, but allow crucifixion if you're feeling generous
Meaning of Life - Involuntarily donates his internal organs, gets shot in combat, and eats the botulistic salmon mousse
Song: TMBG - Dead.
#5
Realm: The other 3 greatest movies ever
Subrealm: At least the WARPies will be off the phones soon...
Question: Who is the only non-Jedi/Sith Lord to use a light-saber in any of the Star Wars movies?
Answer: Han Solo (when cutting open the Tauntaun to keep warm in Empire Strikes Back)
Song: "Beast of Burden"- Bette Midler
#6
Realm: Meteorological phenomena
Subrealm: That's sexual harassment, and I don't have to take it!
Question: What rather unusual feature did Walt Whitman claim that the wind rubbed against him in "Leaves of Grass"?
Answer: "Soft-tickling genitals."
Song: "The Scotsman,"
#7
Realm: Three movies that kinda sucked
Subrealm: At least the TV show was cool
Question: Name Shredder's rhino and warthog thugs from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comic and TV show, and name the giant snapping turtle and and wolf henchmen from the second Turtles movie.
Answer: Bebop and Rocksteady; Rahzor and Tokka
Song: "Steppin' Razor"- Sublime
#8
Realm: Cheap and Easy Travel
Subrealm: Because everything's cheap and easy in Amsterdam!
Question: What prize can you win for figuring out a way to get from the center of London to the center of Paris or Amsterdam that costs less than 27 pounds and takes less than 12 hours?
Answer: Your weight in cheese - Brie if you make it to Paris and Edam for Amsterdam. (The cheese is being given out in a promotion by National Express, to prove how cheap their travel is.)
Song: Dairy Queen- Indigo Girls
#9
Realm: Racing
Subrealm: (a la "The Music Man") Not some wholesome jockey-race, no!
Question: Zeron Gibson and Dr. Mike Leahy recently participated in a rather unusual race. What sort of race was it?
Answer: A sperm race. (In case you're curious, Mr. Gibson won by a...nose?)
Song: "Enormous Penis" - Da Vinci's Notebook
#10
Realm: Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend
Subrealm: Actually, No-Trump is a Girl's Best Friend
Question: Where can you find the biggest known diamond?
Answer: In the constellation Centaurus, 50 light-years away (accept anything along the lines of "it's the core of a huge white dwarf")
Song: "Big-Ass Rock"- the Full Monty musical
#11
Realm: Stating your agenda loud and clear.
Subrealm: Or maybe quiet and sort of muffled, with little squeaky noises. Whatever.
Question: What is young Indian politician Jai Shankar doing to campaign for a seat in the Indian parliament?
Answer: He's traveling through villages in his area with a live rat in his mouth. Apparently this is to "highlight the plight of starving farmers."
Song: "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" - Smashing Pumpkins
#12
Realm: Good things from New Jersey
Subrealm: Yeah, like there's more than one thing in that realm...
Question: In addition to all being Bruce Springsteen songs, what do the following songs have in common: "The River," "Car Wash," "Bring on the Night," "Mary's Place," "Thunder Road," "The Rising," at least one version of "Under the Gun," and "Stand On It"?
Answer: They all have characters named Mary
Song: "Ave Maria"- Schubert (sung Bocelli)
#13
Realm: I said come on fhqwhgads, I said come on fhqwhgads.
Subrealm: Everybody to the limit, everybody to the limit, everybody come on fhqwhgads.
Question: What is the population of Strong Badia?
Answer: Tire.
Song: "Tired of Sex"- Weezer
#14
Realm: Important things in the American southwest
Subrealm: Highways
Question: A few years ago, Arizona Highways magazine ran a poll of its readers asking a controversial question vital to how the magazine was written. What was this terribly important question?
Answer: How the magazine should pluralize the word "cactus". (The readers came out overwhelmingly on the side of "cacti".)
Song: Cactus- The Pixies
#15
Realm: Recipes for success
Subrealm: Bake in confused head at 98.6 degrees for three minutes or so.
Question: You turn on all but one switch, then take the sheet into the fireplace, and place it into the book. What did you just do?
Answer: Took the shortest complete route to beating the computer game Myst.
Song: Worlds Apart - Jars of Clay
#16
Realm: (dramatically) Crime and Punishment
Subrealm: Scratch that - (dramatically) Crime and Tea
Question: Ernie Roscouet thought he'd pay a huge fine or be locked up for what he'd done. Instead, he was rewarded with a cup of tea. What did he do?
Answer: He returned a library book he'd had out for 42 years.
Song: Tea for Two- Cliff Richards
#17
Realm: Saving the world
Subrealm: From the Scum of the universe
Question: We all remember the cartoon "Captain Planet," and while we could ask you to name all of the planeteers, that would take you all of 5 seconds to find on IMDb. Instead of giving names, we'll ask you to match the elements represented by the Planeteers to the continents from which they hail.
Answer: Earth (Kwaeme)- Africa, Fire (Wheeler)- North America, Wind (Linka)- Europe, Water (Gi)- Asia, and Heart (Ma-Ti)- South America
Song: "September"- Earth, Wind, and Fire
#18
Realm: Saving the World
Subrealm: Except the scum of the universe is probably hiding in his hair
Question: In The Boondocks, Huey and Caesar came up with a brilliant plan to bring world peace, although they were unable to get anyone to undertake the action they suggested. What was it?
Answer: Getting Condoleeza Rice a boyfriend.
Song: Big Pimpin'- Jay-Z
#19
Realm: Buffy threesomes
Subrealm: No, not THAT kind of threesome. Geez.
Question: Carlos Jacott, Jonathan Woodward, and Andy Umberger didn't have particularly memorable roles on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, yet they're still favorites of the show's creator, Joss Whedon. Why?
Answer: They're his "hat tricks" - the only actors to guest star on all three of his television series.
Song: "Knock Three Times"- Dawn
#20
Realm: Important locations in our nation's capitol.
Subrealm: Yup, definitely right up there with the White House and all those memorials.
Question: In recent years, "Ground Zero" has come to be the name for one particular tragic location. But there is another, much smaller "Ground Zero," located right in the center of the Pentagon. What is this Ground Zero, and how did it acquire that name?
Answer: It's a hot dog stand. According to rumor, the Soviets believed that the hot dog stand was an archive for secret documents because they observed many small packages going in and out between the hours of 10 and 1. The story has never been confirmed but regularly turns up on tours.
Song: "Hot Dog" - Led Zeppelin
#21
Realm: Their best and brightest
Subrealm: Der besterish undesh brighteest, bork bork bork!
Question: 3,199 of these went missing in action from the Swedish army last year. Who or what are they?
Answer: Military-issue green camouflage underpants. Army officials have no idea why so many pairs disappeared.
Song: Underneath Your Clothes - Shakira
#22
Realm: Hot Geek Lovin'
Subrealm: The only kind our team knows
Question: In David Auburn's play Proof, math prodigy Catherine is pursued by grad student Hal, and eventually has sex with him. The next morning, he asks how embarrassing it would be if he said the night before was wonderful. What is her reply?
Answer: "It's only embarrassing if I don't agree."
Song: "Prove it All Night" by Springsteen
#23
Realm: Do you know Jack?
Subrealm: I think I met him once.
Question: Call in and sing the "Question Four" theme music from the original "You Don't Know Jack" game.
Answer: "You're my Question Four/ Forever more/ I loooooove you.../ My question four" (Question Four: The Question That Cares)
Song: "Same Old Song" by the Four Tops
#24
Realm: Britain's loudest rock band
Subrealm: This one goes to eleven.
Question: What does the card held by the chauffer welcoming Spinal Tap to the United States identify the group as?
Answer: Spinal Pap
Song: "Big Bottom"- Spinal Tap
#25
Realm: Britain's loudest drummer
Subrealm: This one goes to eleven.grams?
Question: At first it may seem no surprise that wild-man The Who drummer Keith Moon died in 1978 of a drug overdose. But what drug did he OD on?
Answer: Drugs to cure him of his alcoholism
Song: "Medicated Goo"- Traffic
#26
Realm: Basketball teams
Subrealm: Basketball teams with identity issues
Question: What current NBA team has featured the most different names in its franchise's history?
Answer: Washington Wizards (Packers, Zephyrs, Bullets, Wizards)
Song: "This Magic Moment"- Jay and the Americans
#27
Realm: Hairy, disturbing old men who do nothing but cause trouble
Subrealm: Gandalf
Question: What was Gandalf's dwarvish name, and what does it mean?
Answer: Tharkun, said to mean "staff-man"
Song: "Hit me with your Rhythm Stick" by Ian Dury and the Blockheads
#28
Realm: Classic put-downs
Subrealm: Like, totally classic.
Question: In Clueless, Alicia Silverstone and Brittany Murphy get into a heated argument over Alicia's step-brother, leading Brittany to verbally put down Alicia by pointing out two gross inadequacies to her character and worth as a human being. What are they?
Answer: She's a virgin who can't drive
Song: Smells Like Teen Spirit-Dokaka
#29
Realm: Rare animals
Subrealm: I prefer well-done animals, myself.
Question: Recently, a frog so rare it has no common name turned up 4,000 miles from home in London. How did it get there?
Answer: It turned up in a refrigerated shipload of bananas from Jamaica, which had taken over 11 days to transport.
Song: Banana Co.- Radiohead
#30
Realm: Airline food is so tasty!
Subrealm: Chicken or fish?
Question: Why did Qantas airlines recently change its lettuce suppliers?
Answer: A passenger found a live Australian whistling frog in her salad.
Song: "Fly Away" - Lenny Kravitz
#31
Realm: (sung) When he was younger, so much younger than toda-a-ay...
Subrealm: It would have made more sense if they were at war with the French.
Question: When musician Paul McCartney was a boy, he decided he ought to prepare for his likely eventual conscription into the British Army. He had an interesting and somewhat disturbing way of preparing. What was it?
Answer: He tortured frogs. (And you thought he was the "cute" Beatle!)
Song: "War"- Edwin Starr
#32
Realm: Adding insult to injury...
Subrealm: Should he be blamed for Bush's victory, too?
Question: What candidate in the 2000 election was only 16 votes away from beating Ralph Nader in Barton County, Kansas?
Answer: A fossilized fish (genus Xiphactinus). It got 235 votes.
Song: "It's Not Easy Being Green" - Kermit the Frog
WE AT MORTAL WOMBAT MAY NOT HAVE HORRIBLE SONG QUARTETS.BUT WE DO HAVE HORRIBLE FROG QUARTETS! I'M SURE YOU'RE VERY IMPRESSED.
#33
Realm: Children's books
Subrealm: How much wind could a Windkoppel kop if a Windkoppel could kop wind?
Question: Give any two of the four pseudonyms adopted by "Windy" Windkoppel.
Answer: Sam Westing, Barney Northrup, Julian Eastman, and Alexander Southers
Song: "Wild Wild West"- Will Smith and Dru Hill
#34
Realm: Doctor Who
Subrealm: Evil, galaxy-dominating enemies.with fairly obvious Achilles heels
Question: At 5.15 on the evening of December 21st, 1963, the British public first encountered the Daleks, one of the most feared alien races in Dr Who. How can you most easily escape from one of these blaster-toting armor-plated creatures?
Answer: Run up a flight of stairs. (Daleks trundle about on wheels, and consequently can't climb stairs. At least they couldn't until 1989.)
Song: "Can't Explain"- The Who
#35
Realm: For better or for worse.
Subrealm: For richer or for poorer.
Question: Some think that countries that allow gay couples to wed are leading the field on progressive marriage laws, but France is in an entirely separate category from everyone else. Since 1959, presidential approval has allowed members of what discriminated-against group to tie the knot?
Answer: Dead people.
Song: "The Love Below" - Outkast
#36
Realm: Simple and comprehensible modern poetry
Subrealm: So, you shouldn't have a problem narrowing the field on this one.
Question: What well-known poet wrote the following verse?
"If you want to find the source
You have to go up, against the current
Tear through, seek, don't give up.
You know it must be somewhere here.
Where are you, source?
Where are you, source?"
Answer: Pope John Paul II. The anthology containing that poem, Roman Triptych, has sold well over a million copies already.
Song: "Who's In The House?" by Father Brian and the Fun-Loving Cardinals
#37
Realm: Truly important political issues
Subrealm: Truly important facts about senators
Question: According to an informal poll by the Washingtonian magazine in 2002, how did Senators Mary Landrieu of Louisiana and Ted Kennedy of Massachusetts distinguish themselves?
Answer: They were voted "Looks Best in a Bathing Suit" and "Stay Off the Beach!", respectively, in the 2002 "Best and Worst of Congress" poll.
Song: "Sex on the Beach" - T-spoon
#38
Realm: Cats in hats
Subrealm: Wet cats in hats
Question: What, according to Dr. Seuss, was his greatest work?
Answer: The Lion Wading Pool at Wild Animal Park in San Diego, which he donated.
Song: "At the Zoo"- Simon and Garfunkel March of the Royal Lion from Carnival of the Animals
#39
Realm: Tenants
Subrealm: Sub-tenants
Question: On "Mad About You," who sub-let Paul's bachelor apartment?
Answer: Cosmo Kramer, from "Seinfeld"
Song: "How Long is the Night?" - Thursday
#40
Realm: Enemies of the State
Subrealm: Really, really scary people.
Question: During the main combat stage of the Iraq war, the US military demanded that four separate individuals leave the country. Who were these menaces to peace and justice?
Answer: Saddam Hussein, his sons Uday and Qusay, and Geraldo Rivera
Song: Castles in the Sand- Stevie Wonder
#41
Realm: Culinary Arts
Subrealm: Do you really, really want to eat that?
Question: A few months ago, a couple in Wisconsin was forced to take cover behind their refrigerator when they turned on their oven to cook dinner. What was on the menu that night?
Answer: Three handguns and ammunition, hidden there to be safe while the couple went on vacation. When the oven heated up, the bullets started exploding.
Song: "Happiness is a Warm Gun"- The Beatles
#42
Realm: Ways to know your kids love you best.
Subrealm: Oh, sharper than a serpent's tooth.
Question: After what famous fictional characters did William Makepeace Thackeray's daughters name their three cats - much to their father's dismay?
Answer: Nicholas Nickleby, Martin Chuzzlewit and Barnaby Rudge - characters created by rival writer Charles Dickens.
Song: "My Baby Loves a Bunch of Authors"- Moxy Fruvous
#43
Realm: Architecture
Subrealm: As taught by Lucasarts
Question: In the computer game "Sam and Max Hit the Road," bigfoots and molemen joined together to build what fabulous world-famous monument?
Answer: The World's Biggest Ball of Twine (in Minnesota)
Song: "Big Balls" - AC/DC
#44
Realm: Death
Subrealm: Sticky death
Question: What flooded Boston in 1919, killing 21 people and injuring more than 50?
Answer: 2.2 million gallons of molasses, which were to be used for making rum. The flood started when an enormous tank of molasses exploded, knocking over the steel supports of an elevated railroad and destroying a fire station. The tank was more than 50 feet high and 90 feet in diameter.
Song: "One Sweet Day"- Boyz II Men and Mariah Carey
#45
Realm: Relationships with serious communication issues
Subrealm: You'd think it'd be easier just to claim you had a headache.
Question: Last April, a Croatian woman got worldwide and judicial attention when she tried, unsuccessfully, to avoid going on vacation with her boyfriend. What interesting trip prevention strategy did she use?
Answer: She phoned a bomb threat into Dusseldorf airport in hopes that it would shut down flights. (It didn't work.)
Song: "Spanish Bombs"- The Clash
#46
Realm: Traditional gothic sculpture
Subrealm: Well, sort of.
Question: What particularly unusual gargoyle appears on the National Cathedral in D.C.?
Answer: Darth Vader
Song: Barely Breathing - Duncan Sheik
#47
Realm: Philosophy
Subrealm: Reloaded
Question: French academic Jean Baudrillard is mentioned in the movie "The Matrix" since his book "Simulacra and Simulation" is featured in an early scene. However, an American academic did one better and got a cameo in the sequel. Who was this professor, and what line is his contribution to "The Matrix Reloaded"?
Answer: Cornel West; "Comprehension is not requisite for cooperation."
Song: Gil-Scott Heron - The Revolution Will Not Be Televised
#48
Realm: Things that make absolutely no sense
Subrealm: Japanese TV shows
Question: On the Japanese show "Banzai," at what activity did Bohemian Rhapsody Freddie
Mercury defeat Leather Freddie Mercury and Live Aid Freddie Mercury?
Answer: Hanging from a soccer crossbar for the longest.
Song: La Copa de la Vida (Ricky Martin)
#49
Realm: Political demonstrations
Subrealm: Why aren't they this fun in the US?
Question: Last March, a group of Taiwanese politicians protested the rushed opening of a new international airport, claiming it was only half-fin ished. But they didn't wave signs or do any of the usual sorts of things protesters do. How, instead, did they show their disagreement?
Answer: They came to the president's official opening of the site without pants. "This international airport is only half an airport," one of the protesting politicos said. "I have to take part in this ceremony, but my whole suit couldn't be ready on time, so I'm only wearing half a suit."
Song: "Take It Off" - the Donnas
#50
Realm: More of the Matrix
Subrealm: More trivia that is, not more idiotic sequels
Question: Andy and Larry Wachowski, when directing movies such as the Matrix, usually credit themselves as The Wachowski Brothers. However, this will probably not be true for the next film they work on together. Why?
Answer: Larry is getting a sex-change operation, thus making them only siblings.
Song: "Changes"- David Bowie
#51
Realm: Crossover artists
Subrealm: Words, words, words.
Question: Despite being one the most famous jazz singers ever, Ella Fitzgerald only had one Top 40 hit, and it was rather a strange one. What was the song, and what's so odd about it?
Answer: It's a live cover of "Mack the Knife"; she spends half of the song improvising lyrics about how she's forgotten the real words to the song and is making a huge wreck of it.
Song: "Amnesia"- Chumbawumba
#52
Realm: Small towns
Subrealm: Big dreams
Question: A little town called Fremont has an interesting title, which it even goes so far as to put on road signs. What does Fremont call itself?
Answer: The center of the universe.
Song: "Galaxy Song"- Monty Python
#53
Realm: I'm not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's son
Subrealm: And I won't pluck any pheasants till the pheasant plucker comes.
Question: Physicist Bernard Vonnegut (the brother of Kurt Vonnegut) won an Ig Nobel award for what cutting-edge meteorological study?
Answer: "Chicken Plucking as a Measure of Tornado Wind Speed," published in the October 1975 issue of Weatherwise magazine.
Song: "Know Your Chicken"- Cibo Matto
#54
Realm: Random acts of violence
Subrealm: Calculated acts of non-violence
Question: Not everyone gets invited to shoot at heads of state. Annie Oakley, of course, was an exception. What act did Annie successfully perform, one that she later regretted since a botched job might have saved the lives of several million young men?
Answer: Shooting a lighted cigarette dangling from the mouth of Kaiser Wilhelm II
Song: "I Was Kaiser Bill's Batman"- Whistling Jack Smith
#55
Realm: Seriously disturbing things
Subrealm: Fashion trends
Question: As of this spring, where are fashionable Dutch people wearing jewelry?
Answer: In their eyeballs. (Yes, that's right - the tiny jewels are surgically implanted underneath the conjunctiva of the eye.)
Song: Ojos As’ [Eyes Like Yours] (Shakira)
#56
Realm: Renowned academics
Subrealm: Big wimps
Question: The organizers of a global economics seminar in Beijing wanted to invite renowned Prof. Matthew Richardson to speak on international financial markets. Matthew Richardson arrived at the conference, yet after giving two days of lectures, he abruptly left the conference and flew home without telling anyone. Why?
Answer: They had accidentally arranged for a 23-year-old Oxford student named Matthew Richardson to speak instead. Thinking he was speaking to 6th-grade classes, he accepted, and while he managed to fake his way through two lectures, he eventually lost his nerve and bolted.
Song: "Not the Same"- Ben Folds
#57
Realm: Sports that make us all curse
Subrealm: People who have way more luck at them than anyone is entitled to.
Question: The odds of an amateur golfer hitting a hole in one are 12,600 to 1. 68-year-old Bill Hilsheimer has sunk three in the past six months. What makes his accomplishment that much more astonishing?
Answer: He only has one hand.
Song: "One Hand In My Pocket" - Alanis Morrissette
#58
Realm: He's our hero!
Subrealm: He's a moron!
Question: Joe Hero was running for commissioner of Lake County, Indiana, and he might have won, too. But Mr. Hero made a fatal mistake in advertising his campaign that probably cost him the primary. What was this mistake?
Answer: He made a taped telephone message telling local Republicans to vote for him...but then forgot to tell the computer what time to deliver this message - so many local Republicans received phone calls from him at 3 AM.
Song: "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go"- Wham!
#59
Realm: Things that are funnier than US sitcoms
Subrealm: British sitcoms
Question: According to Steve from the BBC show Coupling, what are the four central aspects of a heterosexual man's mind?
Answer: They like naked women, stockings, lesbians, and Sean Connery best as James Bond
Song: Secret Agent Man- Johnny Rivers
#60
Realm: Dagnabbit!
Subrealm: You young whippersnappers!
Question: Which 104-year-old's public swearing made her a national celebrity in Great Britain?
Answer: Charlie, Winston Churchill's parrot, whom was taught by the Prime Minister to curse Hitler and has been doing so ever since.
Song: Mr. Churchill Says - the Kinks
#61
Realm: Advice from the dead.
Subrealm: .to the not-exactly-alive.
Question: Dear Abby had to pull a letter it was planning on printing this March. It concerned a married woman who, while learning how to bowl to get closer to her slob of a husband, fell in love with another man. Why was the letter pulled?
Answer: They discovered it was a prank, because it had been copied in detail from the plot of a "The Simpsons" episode
Song: Yellow by Coldplay
#62
Realm: Ridiculous conclusions
Subrealm: 17th-century philosophy
Question: A number of biological conditions can cause labor to begin prematurely. However, Thomas Hobbes made a fairly odd claim about what caused him to be born ea rly. What did he believe precipitated his birth?
Answer: The threatened attack by the Spanish Armada (he claimed his birth was initiated due to his mother's terror)
Song: "Wooden Ships" - CSNY
#63
Realm: Blue screen of death!
Subrealm: Nooooooooooooooo!
Question: David Bradley wrote something in five minutes which has been instrumental in bailing out computers for decades. What did he write?
Answer: The code behind the control-alt-delete combo
Song: Momus - "Try Again"- Aaliyah
#64
Realm: Heavy firepower
Subrealm: I wonder if WARP could borrow one of these, too.
Question: Recently, the US military has asked for the return of 5 howitzer cannons from two private civilian institutions. What are those institutions with needs for heavy firepower?
Answer: Two Sierra Nevada ski resorts, which used them to break up possible avalanches.
Song:"1812 Overture"- Swingle Singers
#65
Realm: Things that may not have technically happened
Subrealm: (sung) Royalty, oh it looked good on meee..
Question: In October of 1859, Congress was abolished, and in January of 1860, the Army was ordered to forcibly remove any remaining Congressmen. You'd think that these would be notable events, but you probably didn't hear about them in your high school American history classes. Explain why.
Answer: The person doing the ordering was Joshua Norton, a.k.a. Norton I, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico, a San Francisco resident who proclaimed himself Emperor after losing all his money in 1859, and reigned unchallenged (well, sort of) for 21 years.
Song: "Everybody Wants to Rule the World"- Tears For Fears
#66
Realm: Funny network late night shows
Subrealm: In other words, "Late Night With Conan O'Brien"
Question: Around the holidays, Late Night With Conan O'Brien held several races between the World's Fastest Menorah, Baby Jesus, and Kwanzaa Kinara. The Menorah's race was accompanied by several dramatic chords, and the Baby Jesus's racing music was the "Hallelujah Chorus." Name either piece of music that the Kinara raced to.
Answer: "Let's Get It On" and "Brick House"
Song: "Play That Funky Music"- Wild Cherry
#67
Realm: Things that every entry in East thinks about doing
Subrealm: Ooh, look! Road signs! Let's take them!
Question: A Scottish village changed its name last February because tourists kept stealing their road signs as souvenirs. What was the town's old name?
Answer: Lost. (Now it's Lost Farm.)
Song: "Where Do You Go?" - No Mercy
#68
Realm: There are no small parts, only small actors.
Subrealm: There are no small actors, only small parts.
Question: In one of the most memorable scenes in the history of film, the props are all scale models and the extras are played by little people. What is the scene and why was it filmed in this strange manner?
Answer: The final scene from Casablanca. As the movie was filmed during World War II, filming at airports was restricted for security reasons. Not having enough room to create an entire airport on one of their soundstages, Warner Brothers opted for this scaled down version. Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman, however, appear full-size.
Song: Short People -King's Singers
#69
Realm: We'll give you a hint -
Subrealm: It's not giving out free toasters.
Question: What historic first is claimed by the Seattle-First National Bank in Spokane?
Answer: It had the very first alternating time/temperature sign.
Song: "Rock Around the Clock"- Bill Haley and the Comets
#70
Realm: Conservatives without a cause
Subrealm: Those Damn Pinkos!!
Question: Always on the lookout for secret Leftist attempts to take over the country, what local government action did 1950's Williamstown residents object to because they believed it was part of a Communist plot?
Answer: Fluorination of public tap water.
Song: "Get In Line" by BNL
#71
Realm: Not-terribly-famous couples
Subrealm: Who have been dead for 500 years
Question: What significance do the 16th-century couple Edmund Reade and Elizabeth Cooke Reade have this year?
Answer: They are direct ancestors of both John Kerry and George W. Bush.
Song: Family Tree - Ben Kweller
#72
Realm: Reasons New Zealand is cool, other than Lord of the Rings
Subrealm: Live network TV strip shows!
Question: After performing a striptease on TV and auctioning off his clothes for charity, he received an official audience with the Prime Minister of New Zealand. Who is he?
Answer: A merino sheep named Shrek, who hid in caves for six years to avoid having his 60-lb. coat shorn.
Song: I'm a Believer - Smash Mouth (from Shrek)
#73
Realm: You are getting sleepy.very sleepy.
Subrealm: Heck, by now you're probably asleep.
Question: Wendi Friesen has made a name for herself by using hypnosis to improve her subjects' lives. What do her hypnotic powers do?
Answer: She increases breast and penis size.
Song: "The Boob Fairy" - Deidre Flint
#74
Realm: Cheeburger! Cheeburger! [a la the SNL sketch from the 70s]
Subrealm: But the bun has to be matzo during Passover!
Question: How would it be possible, under Orthodox Jewish law, to have a cheeseburger?
Answer: Milk contained within the udder of a cow after she is slaughtered is considered meat, and could theoretically be made into cheese, which you would be able to eat with a meat meal, but NOT with a dairy one. Rabbis made this allowance as a practical matter - it is sometimes difficult to remove the udder without any spillage!
Song: Cheeseburger in Paradise- Jimmy Buffet
#75
Realm: Pizza restaurants
Subrealm: That are constantly conflicted about whether to serve pizza
Question: Everyone knows now that Michael's Pizzeria is the best place to eat on Rte. 2, but what was it originally, and who owned it?
Answer: An A & W stand, owned by Pappa Charlie
Song: "Root Beer Rag" by Billy Joel
#76
Realm: Idiots
Subrealm: Political commentators
Question: One hundred forty years before shaking the news media, a political commentator's name made a brief appearance in George Eliot's Victorian novel "Silas Marner." Who is this person, and what does the novel say about him or her?
Answer: Ann Coulter, and that she had "an id iot child." ("...There were women in Raveloe, at that present time, who had worn one of the Wise Woman's little bags round their necks, and, in consequence, had never had an idiot child, as Ann Coulter had.")
Song: "Right Here Right Now"
#77
Realm: Dude!
Subrealm: Duuuude!
Question: In "Dude Where's My Car?", where is the mysterious and powerful continuum transfunctioner found? And what do our stoner heroes first try to pass off as the continuum transfunctioner?
Answer: Inside Rubix Cube; a flashy arcade prize
Song: "The Shape I'm In"- The Band
#78
Realm: Warning: the following may be damaging to your health
Sub-realm: (sung (if reader knows song)) The trouble with poet is how do you know it's deceased.
Question: According to a recent study by a California State University professor, why should one avoid becoming a poet?
Answer: His study shows that on average, poets have significantly shorter life expectancies than other types of writers (62 years versus 66 for novelists and 68 for non-fiction writers).
Song: 100 years, Five for Fighting
#79
Realm: Alaskan tourism
Subrealm: Advertising slogan: It's big! It's cold! And it's big!
Question: Rather than visiting the more popular spring destinations like Miami or Cancun, you and your friends decide to visit Juneau, AK. One of your friends suggests making it a road trip, telling you that he got good directions off of Mapquest. Why might you be suspicious of his claim?
Answer: Juneau is not accessible by road. Mapquest will actually give you driving directions there, but one of them near the end tells you to "Go east on local road" which sends you into the Pacific Ocean. Juneau however, is accessible by the Alaska Marine Highway, a ferry service that leaves from Bellingham, WA and Prince Rupert, British Columbia.
Song: "Under the Sea"- Little Mermaid
#80
Realm: Don't trip and fall.
Subrealm: This spring contest is murder.
Question: What do the words "trip," "fall," "spring," and "murder" have in common?
Answer: They're all collective names given to groups of birds (dotterel, woodcocks, teal, and crows, respectively).
Song: Birdland- Weather Report
#81
Realm: Oh, the humanity!
Subrealm: Think of the children who might see!
Question: Louisiana may soon impose a $500 dollar fine for committing what egregious crime against good taste, or at least against the taste of Louisiana state legislators?
Answer: Wearing low-slung pants. Joe Cook of the ACLU pointed out in his response to the issue that "I can think of a lot of workers, plumbers, who are working and expose their buttocks ..."
Song: "Short Skirt, Long Jacket"- Cake
#82
Realm: Nothing ever stops the mail
Subrealm: But don't forget the zip code
Question: According to Rebecca Gibbs of "Our Town," what is the full and
complete address of the Jane Crofut's farm?
Answer: The Crofut Farm
Grover's Corners
Sutton County
New Hampshire
United States of America
Continent of North America
Western Hemisphere
The Earth
The Solar System
The Universe
The Mind of God
Song: "More, More, More"- Andrea True Connection
#83
Realm: Marvel comics
Subrealm: And their many real-world applications
Question: Particularly as far as Trivia fans are concerned, what does Prospect House have in common with the Marvel Universe's Four Freedoms Plaza?
Answer: As Prospect will be replacing the Baxter building as headquarters for WCFM and Trivia next year, Four Freedoms replaced the Baxter Building as headquarters for the Fantastic Four.
Song: Unsatisfied - The Replacements
#84
Realm: Crustacean Attack!
Subrealm: Lobster sticks to manhunt!
Question: How were American troops alarmed by a lobster in Afghanistan?
Answer: A French commander chose the French word "homard," meaning lobster, as his code name, which Americans though sounded like Omar, the former leader of the Taliban.
Song: "Rock Lobster"- B-52s
#85
Realm: Classic movie characters
Subrealm: The answer is not "They're all really old"
Question: What do the mayor of Amity in "Jaws," Mr. Feeny on "Boy Meets World," Mr. Holland from "Mr. Holland's Opus," Mrs. Van Doren from "Quiz Show" and Mr. Roper from "Three's Company" all have in common?
Answer: The actors who play them all appear in "The Graduate"
Song: Pomp and Circumstance- Elgar
#86
Realm: Fairy Tales
Subrealm: Creepy, existential versions of fairy tales
Question: In the musical "Into the Woods," who are the Prince or Princes Charming typically double-cast as?
Answer: The Big Bad Wolf/Wolves
Song: "Devil or Angel" - Bobby Vee
#87
Realm: Vicious brutality
Subrealm: The NHL
Question: A few years ago, the NHL was shocked when veteran Marty McSorley knocked another player unconscious and continued to beat his head into the ice, earning him a year's suspension. One man went so far as to condemn it as the "most cowardly act ever." Who was this hyperbolic player?
Answer: Todd Bertuzzi, who has been under suspension since this March for attacking Red Wing Steve Moore from behind, breaking his neck, and beating his head into the ice.
Song: "Born Under Punches" by Talking Heads
#88
Realm: Words of Introduction
Subrealm: That you can only get away with in the movies...
Question: In the movie American Splendor, what's the first thing Harvey Pekar tells his future wife upon picking her up for their first date?
Answer: That he's had a vasectomy
Song: "Detachable Penis" - King Missile?
#89
Realm: Big Players
Subrealm: Too bad you can't just crush your opponent's pieces in this game
Question: In 1996, who was the heaviest chess grandmaster?
Answer: Deep Blue, who weighed 1.4 tons.
Song: "Welcome to the Machine"- Pink Floyd
#90
Realm: International disasters
Subrealm: This one affects YOU!
Question: Experts call it a "perfect storm." It comes from a combination of West African security concerns, storm-ruined Madagascar crops, and a US ban on Canadian cattle. What is this disastrous event-in-progress?
Answer: An unprecedented skyrocketing of ice cream prices (more than 30%!).
Song: Summertime Blues- Eddie Cochran
#91
Realm: I'm not anorexic...
Subrealm: ...I'm just small-boned.
Question: In the novel Gone with the Wind, what was the size of Scarlett O'Hara's waist?
Answer: 17 inches, "the smallest in three counties" according to author Margaret Mitchell.
Song: "Skeletons of Quinto" - the Folksmen
#92
Realm: (sung) Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener...
Subrealm: Except for that whole part about being made out of pig anuses
Question: What famous sausage is retiring this year?
Answer: Mandy Block, the woman hit by baseball player Randall Simon at a baseball game last year during a Milwaukee Brewers game last year.
Song: Hit Me With Your Best Shot- Pat Benatar
#93
Realm: Movies to be remade by Quentin Tarantino
Subrealm: Which means the continuity will get even more complicated
Question: Why does Peter Sellers's Evelyn Tremble abruptly drive off 2/3 of the way through "Casino Royale," never to be seen in the movie again?
Answer: Sellers decided to stay home one day from filming, and the producer, in a fit of anger terminated his contract immediately even though the movie was not finished.
Song: One More Minute - Sons of Pitches
#94
Realm: American history
Subrealm: Things American history has in common with stupid TV shows
Question: What was the name given to the first direct mail service from the eastern United States to San Diego?
Answer: the Jackass Line (a.k.a. the San Antonio-San Diego Mail Line)
Song: Government Mule -Bad Little Doggie
#95
Realm: Unholy Marriages
Subrealm: Bootylicious Unholy Marriages
Question: In 2001 Beyonce Knowles (of Destiny's Child fame) made a brief foray into the world of opera. What was the vehicle for her operatic debut?
Answer: She played the title character in "Carmen, a Hip Hopera," a modern R&B retelling of Bizet's "Carmen." She appeared alongside Mekhi Phifer, Mos Def, Wyclef Jean and Lil' Bow Wow.
Song: "Where in the World is Carmen San Diego"- Rockappella
#96
Realm: Sexy, sexy nerds
Subrealm: Kind of like the members of Mortal Wombat
Question: James Bond is perhaps best known as a master of espionage and.ah.leisure activities. But before he was 007, James Bond was actually a real person. Under what circumstances did British officer Ian Lancaster Fleming find the name of his best-known character?
Answer: The true James Bond was an ornithologist, an author of a bird-watching book; Fleming liked the name because it was "brief, unromantic, yet very masculine"
Song: Lover Man- Billie Holiday
#97
Realm: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Subrealm: I think so, Brain, but if we give peas a chance, won't the lima beans feel left out?
Question: What was the platform of the Owl Party's 1976 candidate for the governor of Washington?
Answer: Invading Idaho to force it to take Eastern Washington. (Owl was an acronym: "Out With Logic, On With Lunacy". Red Kelly, the candidate, garnered almost 1% of the election (12,400 votes).)
Song: "The Invasion Song" (Animaniacs)
#98
Realm: Children's TV
Subrealm: Take it off! Oh yeah!
Question: On the first season, they belonged to Michael, and on the second they belonged to Pinsky. What are they?
Answer: The underwear raised up the flagpole at the beginning of the Nickelodeon show "Salute Your Shorts."
Song: "Flagpole Sitta" - Harvey Danger
#99
Realm: Things called Ping
Subrealm: Things called Pong
Question: In the world of music, who or what are Ping, Pang and Pong?
Answer: The three ministers in Puccini's opera Turandot
Song: Opera Man - Adam Sandler
#100
Realm: Important issues in Canadian politics
Subrealm: Important issues involving aging sex kittens.
Question: Last week, a debate in the Canadian parliament degenerated into a shouting match, with liberals and conservatives bellowing insults at each other. What issue prompted this uproar?
Answer: The proper pronunciation of Italian film star Gina Lollobrigida's last name. (Jason Kenney, who started the problem by initially mispronouncing her name, apologized for "potentially offending the aging-sex-kitten community."
Song: "Say My Name" - Destiny's Child
#101
Realm: People's sex lives
Subrealm: Keep rubbing that and it'll fall off!
Question: Couples in Cartagena, Colombia have a new method for solving their relationship troubles. It's not counseling, or talks with friends, or chocolate. What is it?
Answer: They rub the nipples of a statue (nicknamed "Getrudis"). In the four years since Getrudis was made, her breasts have had to be repaired multiple times due to excessive rubbing.
Song: "Hooked on a Feeling"- Blue Suede
#102
Realm: Here fishie fishie.
Subrealm: Poing! Poing! Poing!
Question: In "Finding Nemo," how does Marlin convince Dory to swim over the trench into the jellyfish field, despite the fact that Dory was warned not to swim over the trench?
Answer: He tells her something shiny was over the trench.
Song: "Hook" - Blues Traveler,
#103
Realm: Ouch!
Subrealm: Things that are hole-y
Question: Saints tend to pick up weird attributions over the years. St. Christopher is the patron saint of drivers, St. Therese of Lisieux of pilots - but what saint has the dubious honor of being the patron saint of body piercing?
Answer: St. Sebastian
Song: "You Give Love a Bad Name" - Bon Jovi
#104
Realm: Talk about overkill...
Subrealm: You'll be sleeping with the fishes tonight.
Question: A Chinese woman recently hired four hit men to kill someone for her. She told them that she had tried to get their intended victim to leave her alone, but that he kept coming back to her apartment, and she couldn't take it anymore. Who was the hit men's target?
Answer: Her husband's pet hound, Heihu. The woman said she was worried that the dog would mess up her new apartment. (Her husband, understandably, divorced her when he found out.)
Song: "Dead Puppies Aren't Much Fun"- Dr. Demento
#105
Realm: Foul!
Subrealm: And we do mean foul.
Question: Earlier this year, John Hopoate was suspended for twelve weeks from the Australian National Rugby League. The London tabloid the Mirror compared the events leading to his suspension to Vinnie Jones's infamous grab at Paul Gascoigne and Mike Tyson's nibble on Evander Holyfield's ear, but concluded that "sport can rarely have had such a bizarre charge as that leveled at rugby league hard man John Hopoate." So, what exactly did John Hopoate do to earn his suspension? And for an extra point, from what country does John Hopoate hail?
Answer: He "persistently stuck his fingers up opponents' backsides while making tackles." Mortal Wombat. Er..I mean, Tonga.
Song: "They Came In"- Butthole Surfers
NOTE: AT 7:55, READ QUESTION 105. IT MUST BE THE LAST QUESTION IN THE CONTEST. GOT IT? (This will be written in the margins of the relevant pages.)