https://wso.williams.edu/wiki/api.php?action=feedcontributions&user=137.165.223.228&feedformat=atomWillipedia - User contributions [en]2024-03-29T12:23:15ZUser contributionsMediaWiki 1.32.1https://wso.williams.edu/wiki/index.php?title=Stuff_The_Student_Body_Should_Definitely_Do&diff=4200Stuff The Student Body Should Definitely Do2005-11-05T16:48:44Z<p>137.165.223.228: </p>
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<div># [[Your Mom|Your mom]].<br />
# Embrace the revolution.<br />
##Against anchor housing?<br />
##Not possible in Mission. The hallways are too small and riot-proof.<br />
# Learn the difference between "you're" and "your."<br />
##Also between "there," "their," and "they're."<br />
###And "whose" and "who's."<br />
# Learn what constitutes a valid argument.<br />
##Not possible in Mission. The hallways are too small and riot-proof.<br />
# Unpop collars.<br />
# Form a volunteer regiment to fight in Iraq and one to fight in Iran and in N. Korea and France and all the other bad guy who hate our freedom.<br />
# Repop collars.<br />
# Drink less hate-orade.<br />
# Make fewer brilliant puns that make lesser men jealous, and cause them to make snide remarks in past edits of this Wiki.<br />
# Learn how to be an unforgivable cunt about grammatical issues.<br />
# Have more bitchfests on the blogs.<br />
# Realize that humanism is like a boot stomping on a human face forever.<br />
# Realize that existentialism is a humanism.<br />
# Visit Dartmouth and learn Beer Pong, which is way better than Beirut.<br />
## Play Beer Pong obsessively.<br />
### Our campus isn't really configured quite right for beer pong.<br />
# Reconfigure campus for Beer Pong, while we set up anchor housing.<br />
# Drink alcoholic beverages sometime.<br />
# Unpop collars once more.<br />
# Make puns.<br />
# Act like obnoxious dicks at the snack bar.<br />
# Amuse random alums who edit the wiki.<br />
# Guard against acting like tools. Self check, especially when drunk.<br />
# Get into more blog bitchfests when there's work to do.<br />
# Stop working and go out and get drunk and pull up stakes and smash bikes like the true inner tool you are.</div>137.165.223.228https://wso.williams.edu/wiki/index.php?title=Free_University&diff=4199Free University2005-11-05T16:45:58Z<p>137.165.223.228: </p>
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<div>Take or teach any classes you want during Winter Study. Past courses have included "How to Make Money on eBay", "The Art of Eskimo Warfare", and "The Fine Art of Seduction by Cooking: Kitchen Skills for the Dating Game."<br />
<br />
<br />
# The Philosophy and Sociology of Streaking <br />
## taught by [[Andrew Whinery]] and [[Morgan Goodwin]]<br />
## discussion and lab sections</div>137.165.223.228https://wso.williams.edu/wiki/index.php?title=Free_University&diff=4197Free University2005-11-05T16:45:17Z<p>137.165.223.228: </p>
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<div>Take or teach any classes you want during Winter Study. Past courses have included "How to Make Money on eBay", "The Art of Eskimo Warfare", and "The Fine Art of Seduction by Cooking: Kitchen Skills for the Dating Game."<br />
<br />
<br />
# The Philosophy and Sociology of Streaking <br />
## taught by [[Andy Whinery]] and [[Morgan Goodwin]]<br />
## discussion and lab sections</div>137.165.223.228https://wso.williams.edu/wiki/index.php?title=Stuff_WSO_Definitely_Should_Do&diff=4195Stuff WSO Definitely Should Do2005-11-05T16:42:29Z<p>137.165.223.228: </p>
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<div>Have an unsolicited feature request? This is the place! Also perhaps a good place to discuss how changes should be implemented and whether they are a good idea. <br />
#change the background to pink<br />
##Um, no.<br />
##but this is actually an easy fix...<br />
# Add new 2005-06 profs to Factrak, asap!<br />
##Done! Also, if you want to help maintain the factrak databases, (it's really easy I promise, there's a really sweet admin interface) e-mail me at 06cks. E-mail me even if you aren't in WSO, and especially if you are an underclassman, someone has got to look after this once I'm gone. <br />
# Enable comments on photos.<br />
# Create or [http://obiblio.sourceforge.net install] a catalog system for books & DVD's that students have (usually lying around in their common rooms) that libraries don't (comic books, course books, etc.) that other people could borrow. Students could lend to each other and track who has what.<br />
# Fix College Council's web site. <br />
##The College Council Website was neither created by WSO nor did they agree to maintain it. And thus it is not their responsibility. <br />
###It was broken because of a database misconfiguration after our server migration a couple weeks ago. It's fixed now. Still not up-to-date, though...<br />
# Require log-ins to use the wiki. <br />
##Possibly, although free access is half the point of a Wiki, and there hasn't been much abuse of it so far.<br />
###My stomach hurts.<br />
# Get the menu and weather scripts working again.<br />
##Definitely should be done, but it is not as easy as one may think. <br />
# Restrict RideBoard to one- or two-day listings so semester-long 'offers' don't clog the home page feed.<br />
## You mean you don't want a ride to the kingdom of Zamunda?<br />
# Fix the facebook so it'll search by parts of names rather than whole/beginning of names<br />
##Search by male/female<br />
# Pimp my computer.<br />
# Fix the Facebook so we can search by Hot dudes or Hot babes (self nomination of course). Also hair color.<br />
## You might as well make a WSO Hot Or No <br />
# Make a place called Evan´s War Chest<br />
#In my experience, WSO Reminders has been more unreliable than iCal.<br />
# Make a preview feature on comment/blog/forum postings, to avoid the weird characters people get for cutting and pasting from Word.<br />
## But only if it works better than the one on Blackboard, which doesn't show weird characters in the preview pane.<br />
# Please, please, please bring back keeping the most recently commented blogs on top. This will filter out the "COME GET DRUNK TONIGHT AT MEZZE!!!11!1!" posts and keep the real bitchfests alive longer.<br />
## I take it back. Let the bitchfests die a quick and merciful death. I'll even post more inane "WHERE'S MY IPOD?!?!?!" blogs just to kick them off the frontpage.<br />
# Fix the Daily Messages feed.<br />
# Add a Daily Advisor feed.<br />
# Create a public archive of all WSO all campus e-mails and all campus-wide e-mails sent by the administration. Future historians will praise you!<br />
# Make the blogs automatically link keywords to wiki entries like some online references. That would be amazing.</div>137.165.223.228https://wso.williams.edu/wiki/index.php?title=West_College&diff=4194West College2005-11-05T16:40:50Z<p>137.165.223.228: </p>
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<div>=== Introduction ===<br />
West College is the Mother of all College Buildings. It is the first, and the finest. Technically a row house, due to its location along the "row" with former frat houses, West College is the perennial home of a great number of thesis seniors, especially science seniors, due to its central location in the [[Science Quad]]. <br />
<br />
In the 2003 [[Housing Draw]], however, the powers that be turned some rooms in West into doubles, which, coupled with the 2002 rule that you cannot singly pick into a double until that last ~10 picks in the rising sophomore class, altered the composition of West slightly. The West doubles could not be picked by seniors (seniors ''rarely'' pick into doubles), were not picked by juniors, and ended up going to the lowest pick sophomores -- who were able to pick in alone got them as singles. This fact became one of the [[grievances]] against housing draw that year, but the doubles remained.<br />
<br />
There was once a sighting of those red party cups on the first floor of West, but we can only speculate as to whether there was actually was a party or not...<br />
<br />
Relationships between residents of West College and [[Mission]] Park are considered long-distance relationships.<br />
<br />
=== History ===<br />
West college, as everyone knows is the oldest building on campus. What most people don't know that it was actually built by [[Ephraim Williams]] himself and small band of settlers in the year 1529. While most of the white men in the world at the time still though North America was really India, he bravely sailed the atlantic and wandered through the northeaster forests until he found an ideal valley for his planned utopian society. <br />
<br />
The building was built by hand. The construction consists mostly of bricks made by a more industriuos tribe in an extensive system of quarries and kilns scattered throughout the area. with labor contracted out to various native tribes, with care taken that no one tribe did too much work and therefore gleaned the secret inner workings of what would become Ephram's Castle. Designed as a settlment, capitol and fortress to allow the settlers and their descendends, heavily inter-bred with the local native populations to retreat to in times of emergency, as well as weather out the winters which would later pose such a problem for the founders of [[Amherst]]. <br />
<br />
Of the utopian society founded by Ephram, little is really known apart from wild tales too strange for this impersonal media. However, it can be safely said that the society was self-sufficient, mostly harmonious and endured in the vision of Ephram for many generations.<br />
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Things turned for the worse in 1605 when an immigrant, Jebadiah Smith, from the recent settlements along the coasts. He entered the commune of Williams as a refugee, but within a few years had risen to a fairly powerfull position in the informal council. From there he used all the influence he could muster to have his rivals embarassed or ostracized. He then began to implement his polygamous, totalitarian regime, renaming the valley to the Kingdom of Williamstown and instated himself as King for life. The other settlers and indian citizens all initially were supportive, being sick of commune style leadership as well as attracted by the proposition of having lots of wives. (One of the first acts of King Jeb was to revoke the right of women to express their views in public). This system lasted for roughly 85 years, with King Jeb being succeeded by His 15th son Walkswithlimp, (the only one worthy of taking over, in the eyes of King Jeb). However, the reign of the Smith line came abruptly to an end in 1690 when a friendly allaince led by the Iroquois nation responded to abuses of human rights and invaded the Kingdom, killing all members of the royal family, and giving all other settlers the choice of becoming Iroquois or returning to the coastal settlemtents. <br />
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The building of West College remained standing, largely untouched by the settlers prospering and moving into the valley from the newly founded [[North Adams]]. At this time the building was named Fort Massachusetts and used to station a detachment of the militia. This detachment's second commander was a descendent of the original [[Ephraim Williams]], also named Ephram Williams. <br />
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Enroute with his regiment of Massachusetts militia to join the battle with the French and Indians at Lake George, the Colonel Eprham had tarried long enough in Albany to write his last will and testament on July 22, 1755. In it he bequeathed his residuary estate, the Fort Massachusetts, for the founding and support of a free school in West Township, under the condition that the name of his ancestor Williams be reinstated. <br />
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On September 8, 1755, Colonel Williams was killed at the Battle of Lake George. On October 26, 1791, after many delays, fifteen scholars were admitted to the free school in Williamstown. Even with an existing building, the College, as is typical, took a long time to get things going.<br />
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The rest, as they say, is history. West College went from dorm, chapel, classrooms and offices, to fewer dorms, to no chapel, to no offices, etc. to arrive at the current but by no means final state of affairs (see above).</div>137.165.223.228https://wso.williams.edu/wiki/index.php?title=Ephraim_Williams&diff=4193Ephraim Williams2005-11-05T16:40:04Z<p>137.165.223.228: </p>
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<div>Founder of the college. He constructed [[West College]] with his own hands in the 16th century and lead the most successful of the American utopian communities during the colonial period.</div>137.165.223.228https://wso.williams.edu/wiki/index.php?title=Williams_College&diff=4192Williams College2005-11-05T16:38:51Z<p>137.165.223.228: </p>
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<div>Best college in the world (of course), and arch-enemy of the evil [[Amherst]].<br />
<br />
Williams college's extremely long and illustrious history does not prevent it from being malleable to the whims of presidents, deans and fiesty students. Most notable in the colleges character, despite being so old and stable, is the commercial marketing of the college to the 18 year old [[high-school senior]] demographic. This and this alone has let the college to destroy a perfectly good student center, put up a flashy but somewhat out-of-place theatre, prepare to put students through constant construction when the [[Stetson]]-[[Sawyer]] project starts. <br />
<br />
Despite constantly telling ourselves and as many other people that we can we are number one in academics and sports, we spend very little time really engaged in meaningful discussion with professors or each other, preferring instead to the closed groups of friends, stereotypes and cliques that come with too many people with closed minds together in [[purple bubble]]. The status of number one is dependent on how many people we reject, how much money alunni give us and how many flashy new buildings we complete. It says very little about the [[intelectual life]] of the students or how much wisdom and learning goes on. This is evidenced by the controversy of the [[people's and cultures]] requirement as well as the small percentage of students knowing their professors outside of the classroom.<br />
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<br />
Williams students are called [[Ephs]], after Colonel [[Ephraim Williams]], who provided the seed money for our school and (of course) our namesake.</div>137.165.223.228https://wso.williams.edu/wiki/index.php?title=Stuff_All_Campus_Entertainment_(ACE)_Should_Definitely_Do&diff=4188Stuff All Campus Entertainment (ACE) Should Definitely Do2005-11-05T16:28:38Z<p>137.165.223.228: </p>
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<div># Fix their website.<br />
# Have movies weekly. <br />
# Get several Netflix accounts that students can share. <br />
# Have another jazz party<br />
# Have more parties in general (remember last year anyone?)<br />
# Bring Julian Velard back to campus<br />
## He is playing Stressbusters on Wednesday, November 9. Music at 9.<br />
# Not bring back Virginia Coalition this year.<br />
# Have a real homecoming concert and advertise it soon!<br />
# continue to put on the events that they do despite an apathetic student body unwilling to volunteer, help out or come up with party ideas.</div>137.165.223.228https://wso.williams.edu/wiki/index.php?title=Free_stuff&diff=3995Free stuff2005-11-03T00:21:26Z<p>137.165.223.228: </p>
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<div>Here's a list of stuff that your parents or someone else already paid for.<br />
<br />
* Staples: Sawyer Circulation Desk, Schow<br />
* Staplers: OCC, underneath Stetson; anyone visiting gets a free stapler<br />
* Pencils: OCC<br />
* Candy: Dean's Office, OCC<br />
* The New York Times: Mission, Goodrich<br />
* The Wall Street Journal: Hopkins, the mail trailer<br />
* Paper towels and liquid soap: a bathroom near you (new this year!)<br />
* Printing: Computer labs in Schow, Sawyer, Jesup, Bronfman, Clark, '62 CTD, Stetson, Goodrich, and numerous other places.<br />
* Color printing: Jesup<br />
* Condoms: the health center - all hours, formerly in Baxter basement - does anyone know where Peer Health is now?<br />
* Victoria's Secret (and other) catalogs: Mail trailer next to Lehman<br />
* Scanning, DVD burning, poster printing, video copying and editing, and any other multimedia needs: Jesup Media Studio. We provide the equipment and technical assistance; you have to do the work and provide media (like DVDs, tapes, and photo paper) yourself.<br />
* Squash rackets and basketballs (and probably other equipment) can be borrowed from the Equipment Room in Lasell/Chandler.<br />
* Movies (VHS and DVD) and music CDs can be borrowed for free from Sawyer basement. Just remember to return them on time.<br />
<br />
== Food ==<br />
<br />
* Physics common room: After lectures but before students show up to work on problem sets.<br />
* Wednesday 6:30 PM, JRC: Dinner discussion (or movie)<br />
* Friday, 7 PM, JRC: Shabbat dinner</div>137.165.223.228https://wso.williams.edu/wiki/index.php?title=My_Dad&diff=3677My Dad2005-10-31T18:39:29Z<p>137.165.223.228: </p>
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<div>My dad was in the navy. He still has a sword from it. Does your dad sail a yacht? How would he feel about a huge-ass destroyer with loads of missiles? I would guess that he would feel terrible.<br />
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Oh yeah? Well my dad played pro basketball in Greece and was on the team that won the European Championship. He's 6 feet, 8 inches tall and can still dunk with with ease. Does your dad have mad hops? How would he feel about a little 1 on 1? I would guess that he would feel terrible.<br />
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So? My dad was an army artillery officer. He also has a black belt (3rd dan) in tae kwon do. Does your dad want my dad to kick his ass? How would he feel about sparring? I would guess that he would feel terrible.<br />
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Oh, really? Yeah, well, my dad used to fly a stunt helicopter in movies. Did your dad see that movie, "Apocalypse Down?" Is it true that your dad can't make his riding lawnmower work? How would your dad feel about my dad showing him how to mow the lawn - with a helicopter? I would guess that he would feel terrible. <br />
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Ya? Well my dad was in the Coast Guard. He was a tableman, which is super hard core Coast Guard talk for a waiter. His boat released weather balloons in the north atlantic. Could your dad wipe an officer's butt? How would your dad feel if he was waiting for his food and he found my dad's pubes in it? I would guess that he would feel terrible.<br />
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Is that all? Well my dad used to be a bounty hunter. He tracked down hardened criminals like a great white shark following a trail of blood in the ocean. Could your dad lay the smack down on a mafia leader? How would your dad feel about my dad subjecting him to a full cavity search? I would guess that he would feel terrible. <br />
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Yeah, right. My dad is the host of ''Candid Camera''. How would your dad feel if my dad pulled a really funny prank on your dad on national television? I would guess that he would feel terrible.<br />
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Really? Well, I would like to counter by asserting that my father was and is one of the world's most accomplished sophists. His rhetorical skills are at their best when employed in a totally cynical matter, and when they are so employed they are truly devastating. His insincerity and histrionics are the non pareil. So how would your dad feel about having the weaker argument come to appear the stronger, and thereby finding himself unexpectedly overthrown from a seemingly secure rhetorical position -- in short, about having the proverbial rug pulled out from under his proverbial feet through the dark arts of unabashèd sophistry? I would guess that he would feel terrible.<br />
<br />
Okay? My dad used to be a robot bodyguard for Jim Morrison. He could understand lasers, speak 6 robot languages, and walk sideways... while spinning his head 360 degrees to scare intruders. How would your dad feel about never having to take a break from using designer rockstar drugs to sleep, eat, or wash his hands? I would guess that he would feel terrible.<br />
<br />
Is that so? My dad is the narrator from Robert A. Heinlein's ''All You Zombies''. He was born a functional hermaphrodite and grew up to be a time-travelling bartender. Then he t.t.ed to his own past to kidnap himself and forced himself to come with him back in time to when he was 17 to seduce and impregnate himself. A year later, just before his 18 year old counter part had the sexual identity reconstruction operation, he stole her/his baby and took it back in time to be trained as a bartender. So in conclusion, my dad is my mom AND their only child, who is also me. How would your dad feel if he knew were he came from, but then had to ask somebody else about all the zombies? I would guess that he would feel terrible.<br />
<br />
Huh? Well, my dad is actually [[Your Mom]]. How would your dad feel if he had another family on the side AND had to hide his pregnancy for nine months? I would guess that he would feel terrible.<br />
<br />
But, anyway... My dad is strong and powerful. One time, he and my mom were driving on the highway in a bad snowstorm, and my mom hit some ice and skidded so that the front of the car was off the road and the back of the car was still in the righthand lane of traffic. She tried to steer the car out of this position, but the snow prevented her from doing that. There were cars approaching at high speeds, and visibility was so bad that they might not have braked in time. So my dad got out of the car, picked up the back end of it, and moved that end off the road. How would your dad feel about being colorblind? I would guess that he would feel terrible.<br />
<br />
Oh? Actually, my dad used to be a travelling salesman. All up and down the East Coast, that was his territory. In all of the small towns, they knew him by name. In all of the big cities, they knew him by name. Even when he was older and kind of ugly, he had an affair with this hot young lady. How would your dad feel about talking to his dead brother that went off adventuring to find gold? I would guess that he would feel terrible.<br />
<br />
Is that a fact? Well, my dad is [[Religion|God]]. How would your dad feel about total omnipotence? I would guess that he would feel terrible.<br />
<br />
Oh really? Well, my dad is an atheist, and around the time you learned that Santa Claus was really your parents, I learned that God is really a fabrication of the priest class designed to dupe everybody else into renouncing reason and believing that human freedom is unimportant and that misery will be rewarded in some sort of afterlife. How would your dad feel about being told that existence is a fleeting, meaningless void? I would guess that he would feel terrible.<br />
<br />
Don't be so sure. My dad is [[Morty Schapiro]]. He heads up the best school in the Purple Valley, not to mention in the country, or the rest of the world, and sports a wicked white beard. Everyone loves Morty, and even if they [[Stuff Morty Should Definitely Do|try to tell him what to do]], he doesn't listen, because he's a total badass. He is also the little-known leader of an underground street racing circuit in Bennington. How would your dad feel about getting the liberal arts kicked out of him? I would guess that he would feel terrible.<br />
<br />
Are you serious? Well, my dad weighs two and a half tons. He keeps sandwiches in his back pocket and strung around his waist in a little backback that looks like a purse next to his gargantuan figure. How would your dad feel if my dad were ahead of him in line at Subway and bought EVERYTHING? I would guess that he would feel terrible.<br />
<br />
Hold up! My dad actually invented crack, opium, and morphine. Not only that, but he makes new and improved batches every day, which he tests personally. How would your dad feel about playing the "who's feeling worse emotional pain" game with my dad? I would guess that he would feel terrible.<br />
<br />
Is that all? My dad spent our entire family fortune buying somebody else's soul on Ebay. Since then, our family has found countless uses for this extra soul. I can't even begin to explain how much better our lives have been because of it. "The truth of a single soul is inexpressible," my dad told me while our mom was softly crying in the corner. How would your dad feel about not being able to forcefeed his youngest son a second soul? I would guess that he would feel terrible.<br />
<br />
Are you kidding me? My dad drinks gasoline to wash down his lunch. This one time, he walked into a gas station and just pumped that golden liquid straight down his throat in front of everybody. How would you dad feel if he were to pull into a gas station and realize that his hummer was more fuel-efficient than my father? I would guess that he would feel terrible.<br />
<br />
Big deal. My dad is really rich. How would your dad like it if my dad reserved every table at every restaurant in America on your parents' 25th anniversary? I would guess that he would feel terrible.<br />
<br />
Well my dad has a controlling stake in a major media company. How would your dad like it if my dad cancelled your dad's favorite TV show, and put ''Touched By an Angel'' re-runs in its slot? I would guess that he would feel terrible.<br />
<br />
So what... My dad is really an alien. He has sweet telepathy skills, and he invented the internet. How would your dad feel if he saw my dad's thirty-foot retractable penis? I would guess that he would feel terrible.<br />
<br />
Whoopdeefreakindoo. My dad? He's DEAD. How would your dad feel if he were dead? I would guess that he wouldn't feel anything at all, because he'd be dead.<br />
<br />
That's terrible. But my dad? He's UNDEAD. That's right—he's a zombie. Not even a magazineful of gunfire can stop him from hungrily hobbling towards your dad at an unflagging 1 mph. Also, when he moans, it's very scary. How would your dad feel if my dad took out his frustration about being stuck in purgatory forever by beating your dad into submission with the limbs of the guy he ate for breakfast? I would guess that he would feel terrible.<br />
<br />
So I should be intimidated by that? Come on! My dad is a used to be a Jedi, until he became a Sith lord. While he can snap a person’s neck with the power of his mind, he prefers to use his light saber – so much more civilized. How would your dad feel if he was being laced with my dad’s Force Lightning? I would guess that he would feel terrible. <br />
<br />
Oh give me a break! My dad used to be an embryo. Then he turned into a fetus and finally was born after which he became my liberal, Kerry-voting dad. How would your dad feel if when he was an embryo, he found out that my dad was pro-choice? I would guess that he would feel terrible.<br />
<br />
Does this face look frightened? My dad works for the Department of Homeland Security. He has like Level 4 clearance, which means he can put people on the terrorist watch list just because my dad says he saw them wearing a turban. How would your dad like to be racially profiled? I would guess that he would feel terrible.<br />
<br />
Big whoop. My dad is Catullus. He's like one of the most important poets of all time, up there with Homer, Shakespeare, and maybe Jim Morrison. How would your dad like it if his writings were memorialized as "cacata carta" in a poem that would delight speakers and students of Latin for thousands and thousands of years? The real question is, how will your dad feel when he finds out that "cacata carta" translates to "paper having been shat out of my exceedingly tight anus"? I would guess that he will feel terrible.<br />
<br />
That's nothing. My dad is a wizard at technology. He could borrow all of your dad's copies of your childhood videos and edit them so that it was just him alone on the tapes. How would your dad feel then when he watched them again and began to question whether his family really existed? I would guess that he would feel terrible.<br />
<br />
My dad got caught rapelling off of thompson chapel in '70.</div>137.165.223.228