Code comments

Code comments are notes interspersed among computer code and configuration files to tell future maintainers why things are the way they are. Sometimes they are amusing, and for a variety of reasons. This page is dedicated to collecting the choicest comments found among computers at Williams.

WSO

Most of the following examples are taken from files and scripts which were written long ago but are somehow still in use at WSO. Organized thematically.

Self-deprecation

 # Note, Apr. 2005: This is unspeakably shitty.

 # This is ghetto.
 # Yes, this method is mentally handicapped.
 # Our comments system is a total hack.
 # The worst firewall ever.
 # This SQL is so nasty I can't explain it.
 #this makes me cringe, but oh well

Self-aggrandizement

 # Who's a pimp.
 # In case there was confusion, this is *hot*.
 # You can try to understand it,
 # but I would regard it as holy writ.

Self-defense

 #yeah, i know there isn't a whole lot of reason to abstract this, 
 #but you know what, suck it.
 # This took me 15 minutes.
 # 15 minutes don't buy documentation.

Threats of Violence

 # bwahahaha -- take these away and I'll lower your quota.
 ## Change these and I'll rip your fucking balls off
 # These arguments are passed to us 
 # by /usr/sbin/adduser.  Do not 
 # change them, unless you would 
 # please to put my TV in your butt.

Miscellaneous

 # whoever commented this out is a dumbass
 # So if you've read the past two functions, you're probably
 # wondering, why the fuck I'm passing parameters for the unix
 # pkit_component via the model output instead of using
 # component parameters.

 if($unix eq '06cks'){return 1;}  #super, super admin, i.e. me.
 # This is where WSO staff enter personal hacks
 ####################################
 #  JOSE (Judicious Online Secure Elections) Admin Module
 #  (Make no mistake; this system is named after Tequila)