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Peter Nurnberg '09 - A biography by Anonymous (Not Peter Nurnberg).
Peter Nurnberg '09 started his college career in humble manners. Largely unheard of, he gave Aroop Mukharji '09 a tough run for his money (or lack of it) in the First Year Representative election his freshman year through a bi-pronged strategy of aggressive campus postering and grass-roots campaigning, that involved going entry-to-entry during snacks. During this period he experienced certain hiccups that would be key to his downfall that included attempting to campaign at Fayerweather 1 snacks at which time he received the reply: "No way dude, this is an Aroop Mukharji entry" from a certain person who was to later become Nurnberg's friend. While he eventually lost the election freshman year, Nurnberg established himself as a Force to Be Reckoned with. Nurnberg remained out of the spotlight his sophomore year, choosing, instead, to concentrate on his academics. Towards the end of his sophomore year, he declared his intentions to double major in Mathematics and Economics. By this time, he had already set several records including: The longest Groups and Characters problem set, the longest Groups and Characters test and the first novelization of a Groups and Characters problem set. It is rumored that Universal is working on acquiring film rights and plans to cast Matt Damon as The Cyclic Group of order 2. Other laurels earned by Nurnberg included 'Most Promising Sophomore Math major', awarded by the Math department. The current whereabouts of the Klein bottle trophy are unknown. Nurnberg was accepted into the Williams in Oxford program but decided not to go because he is a red-blooded American and cannot stand the very thought of the English. However, he officially still maintains that he chose to not accept this opportunity because it would interfere with summer internships and deprive him of the chance to be CC treasurer - He ran for CC Treasurer and through a similar bi-pronged approach to campaigning won the elections, though several people have reported that a grassroots smear campaign against his opponents played a crucial role in this election. Independent observers of the election, however, claim that this is itself nothing but a smear campaign against Nurnberg by his opponents. Once elected, he took to his new position with much pomp and splendor. Nurnberg engineered the concepts of detail and protocol into the very core of College Council and allocated student funds in a fiscally responsible way. It is yet to be proven that his allocation was better than random, which has led some people to suspect that all of Nurnberg's actions were guided by a 1000 monkeys with typewriters. Nurnberg, however, is not one to be thrown off by criticism. Dismissing his critics' frivolous claims, he set himself a new goal - one that was grander than anything anyone had ever imagined, one that commanded such power that mortal men were driven crazy by its very thought - he wanted to be CC President. Nurnberg chose to run with his freshman year roommate, Jeremy Goldstein. The rest is, as we all know, history.