"The toilet, no matter how much we deny or ignore it, is a prominent part of our lives and our homes. We tuck it away in well decorated rest rooms or cover it in ornate toilet seats and accessories, but its purpose in our lives is undeniable and should be appreciated, not concealed. Think about it this way: you will spend and average of 3 entire years of your life on the john. In three years you can earn a law degree and/or go through three full gestation periods (4, if you're really dedicated), resulting in at least three new humans! And the toilet is the appliance that uses the most water in your home, consuming up to 30% of all indoor household water for flushing demands."

Best Toilets on Campus

1. Stetson basement: Hands down best bathrooms on campus. Ornate oak, marble counter tops, and extreme privacy. To do business here is divine. Jonathan Ohueri '09 once traveled across campus from Prosepect, during a snowstorm, just to access this mythical place.

2. Schow first floor (physics side): Conveniently located, single-person, air freshener always on hand, and an added "occupied" lock indicator. This bathroom offers the ultimate experience to the student studying late and looking to take a break.

3. Jessup 2nd floor: Single-person restroom with extra comfy 2-ply (compared to the sandpaper available in the dorms).

4. 2nd floor of CTD, next to Large Dance Studio: airy, quiet, equipped with door lock and furnished with an aura of bright light from the glass panes that greets you as you emerge from the room. To engage in your number-two business here is almost like a mating ritual, only much better - you take a deep breath, meditate, focus on forces of the yin and the yang, finally let out a gasp as your inner forces expand outward - all in complete solitude.

Weirdest Toilets on Campus

1. Stetson top floor: While Stetson may be home to the best bathroom on campus, it also houses the most bizarre. This bathroom sports a bathtub raised on a 2'6" tall cement platform, one small window, and a spectacularly creepy cement-like finish. Everything is gray. It is less of a toilet and more of a well furnished prison cell. Just don't go there.

Crappiest (Haha) Toilets on Campus

One of the toilets on Dennett 3rd Floor doesn't flush when you pull down the lever. You have to hold it at an angle for about 10 seconds or pull it up to actually flush the toilet. Totally. Questionable.