The Williams Men's Golf Team is one of the most successful Division III golf programs in the country. The team has made the 23-team NCAA Tournament field 9 of the last 11 years, with its best finish a 10th place showing in 1999. Roster size generally ranges from 10-14 players whose golf games range from scratch to 3 or 4 handicaps. Certainly one of the best perks of making the team is enjoying unlimited playing and practicing privileges at the beautiful Taconic Golf Club.
The Team and Nicknames:
Class of 2005 - Kurt Brumme (Old Saggy, Old Saggy Brummbag, General Brumsfeld), Zach McArthur (Z-Mac, Uncle Z, Beached Whale, Uncle Th)
Class of 2006 - John Kildahl (Johnny Booze), Will Sirignano (C-Ring, High Octane, Nano), Matt Slovitt (Slops), Tim Evans (Timmy)
Class of 2007 - Kevin Kellert (Stilts, Lambda, Shits, Sandhill Crane, Tuberculosis, Chief Tall Bear), Alex Mallory (Dirtbag, 13, DB)
Class of 2008 - Brendan Conley (Lapdog), Jeff Lin (Linny the Pooh, Linnypooh), Nicholas Nottebohm (Nick, on occasion?), Nick Ryder^ (Cup, Walmart), Don Wieczorek^ (Gary, Wicklsakdack)
Class of 2009^^ - Rahul Bahl (Hard H, Squirrel), Chris Chiang, Matt Felser, Logan Gerrity, David Ramsey
^ - no longer with program. Either plays Ivy League golf or is a 3rd string hockey goalie
^^ - not a well known class to the writer of this article
Recent Notable Events:
"The 289": Playing in the season-ending District Shootout event at Taconic in late April, 2005, the Ephs needed a great finish to ensure an invitation to the NCAA field. After a score of 304 on Saturday to put them in 3rd place, on Sunday the team lapped the field with the best single-round score in Williams Golf history - a 289. Leading the way was junior captain Matt Slovitt, who ran off a string of birdies, including four straight culminating on the 11th hole where he found himself 6-under par. Matt finished the day at 1-under par 70. Sophomore Kevin Kellert finished the front nine with a 33, and was shocked to hear that 3-under wasn't even good enough to be best on the team at that point! Kevin finished with an even-par 71. Freshman phenom Nick Ryder played a consistent round of golf, ending with a birdie on 18 for an even-par 71 to share tournament medalist honors with Slovitt. Junior Will Sirignano rounded out the scoring with a solid 77, making the team total an eye-popping 289 and cementing Williams a spot in Orlando at Nationals.
"The 13-putt": The headline of the article following an October, 2003 tournament was "Ephs Fall Victim to Bizarre Course Set-up @ ECAC Championship." However, it was certainly freshman Alex Mallory that bore the brunt of the bizarre course set-up. The 10th hole at Saratoga Spa golf course is an short, overly narrow par four that ends with the most severe green on the course - a two-tiered surface pitching sharply from back to front. In an ridiculous and controversial decision, on this day the pin was cut almost right into the tier, making it virtually impossible to keep any ball near the hole. With many players struggling to find the elusive hole, backups on the tee reached 5 group waits. After hitting the green in regulation 2 strokes, Alex proceeded to 13-putt the green for a 15 on the hole. The remaining members of the team four and five-putted, as 3 foot missed putts ended up 30 or more feet away. Certain that this unfair situation would be turned into an automatic 2-putt (as the fourth green was on this day), Alex went on to post a fine 1-over par performance for the other 17 of his holes. However, the tournament director apparently did not see a big enough issue and chose to let the scores stand. Enraged Williams coach Rick Pohle refused to stay for the tournament conclusion and wrote numerous official complaint letters to throw the tournament results out. The effort went unrewarded, and the team's drop from 2nd or 3rd to 9th place in the ECAC championship because of the hole location was a large factor in missing Nationals at the end of the year.
"Stu's Miracle": Williams' major golf rival is Skidmore College, the other elite program in the Northeast District. One of Skidmore's best players in the last few years has been Stuart Drahota '07, who has become a golfing god in the eyes of many on the Williams team, not only because of his ultra-cool green shoes that read "STU", his winning a tournament by shooting 66 with rental clubs after his were stolen the night before, his very tight relationship with Alex Mallory, or his showing up at Kevin Kellert's 21st birthday party on the Williams campus. Stu cemented his godly status with the Wiliams golf team with a single shot on the 18th hole of the Saratoga Spa golf course in the fall of 2004. Playing with Williams freshman Brendan "Lapdog" Conley, Stu missed a 2-foot putt by an inch on the 17th hole and proceeded to show the only flash of anger he has ever had on the golf course, slamming his putter into his foot and bending it. After using the broken putter to tap in, Stu and Lapdog went to the 18th. As they were playing in the #1 position, they had teed off last and were set to finish the 18th with the rest of the field and coaches ringing the green. Of course, this was going to get interesting as Stu could not use his bent putter, as it is against the rules to do so. "What club would Stu use to putt?", thought Lapdog - "his wedge? his driver?" - as they walked up the fairway. With no putter available, Stu, however, found the best solution. Approaching the green from 150 yards out, Stu swung a 9-iron that sent the ball onto the green, hopping toward the pin, and amazingly, going in the hole for an eagle 2! Stu never needed to putt. Stu is a golf god.
Spring Break:
The highlight of the golf team's season is an annual 2-week Spring Break trip to the East Coast of Florida. The team goes to improve their golf and beirut skills. Detailed statistics for golf (fairways, greens in regulation, putts, sand saves, and penalty strokes) and beirut (cups hit, wal-marts, last cup hit, quotes) are meticulously recorded. In 2004 and 2005, Zach "Uncle Th" McArthur wrote up comprehensive reports, complete with color pictures, that totaled over 100 pages containing every game of beirut played over break. From the statistics, it is clear that golf skill and beirut skill do not tend to overlap. As one increases the other, as sad as it may be, declines. An inverse relationship per se, or whatever. This is especially clear in the cases of Matt Slovitt and Kevin Kellert, clearly the two best golfers on the team, and even more clearly, the two worst beirut partners on the team.
Coach Pohle appears to schedule the golf tee times so that the team's hangovers (and his own) wear off before the first ball is hit. Often playing at 1pm, and of course, ALWAYS with a cart, the team's golf is consistently awful over break. Rounds of 100 are not uncommon. It took Zach McArthur 30 rounds on Spring Break before he broke 80 in his last one - shooting 78 and losing to Coach Pohle by a shot on the final hole.
Some of the better courses hacked up by the team are "Not So" Grand Harbor's River course (nickname by Ned Wydysh '04...), Hawk's Nest, BallenIsles, PGA Golf Club's Dye course, and the McArthur Club. The worst course played is certainly Sand Ridge - "off to Sand Crotch again," says Ned at the beginning of every Spring Break.
Housing on Spring Break has varied quite a bit in recent years. 2003 and 2004 were spent in one of the grossest Motel 6's in the world, where dogs ran wild, some rooms appeared to contain entire extended families, a prostitute wanted to smoke up with Ned Wydysh and Bryan Harmon '04, and Matt Slovitt used the parking lot as his personal urinal. In 2005, after getting kicked out of Motel 6 (maybe it was the plywood thrown in the pool, BH?), Rick Pohle hooked the team up with 2 condos overlooking the PGA Golf Club. It was paradise. Night golf on the par-3 course out back was common, more beirut was played than ever, and the accommodations were even nice enough that girls came over one night. In 2006, it was a slight step down to a hotel setup - neighboring guests in the hallway apparently kept wondering why the boys next door played so much ping-pong late at night...
Recent Golf Team Traditions:
"Old Forge Restaurant": "Discovered" by Ned Wydysh for his birthday on Valentine's Day, 2003, going to the Forge quickly became a weekly staple for the golf team. As the 2003-2004 school year rolled around, senior captains Ned (3 beer cards) and BH (0 beer cards, only drinks Coors Light and Foster's) made going to the Forge at least as important as playing golf for members of the team. The amazing wings and good beer fueled the team's mediocre play week in and week out. Ned, BH, Zach McArthur (3 beer cards), John Kildahl (almost 4 beer cards), Matt Slovitt (almost 4 beer cards), and non-golfer Jon Russell '06 (3 beer cards) made up the core of the weekly group. As younger members of the team learned of this tradition, they became important participants, mostly as designated drivers. In particular, Brendan "Lapdog" Conley '08 (2 beer cards!) served this role well, sacrificing gaining the freshman 15 (or 25) in exchange for wings every week. It is this author's hope that the Forge tradition remains alive in the Williams Golf family as long as possible.
"Bob Seger": The beginning of the love affair between the Williams Golf Team and the music of Bob Seger was when Will Sicks '03 and John Kildahl '06 picked up a Seger tape at a gas station on Spring Break 2003. Seger was the preferred music of that entire break at Motel 6, and by the end of it, the entire team knew the words to his Greatest Hits. Many CDs were burned, Seger was played at every golf event and car ride to and from the Forge, and every time you heard him you thought of Spring Break and a smile came to your face. Bob Seger has remained as a presence at all golf team social functions. "We've Got Tonight" will be played at many a golf teamer's wedding in the distant future.
"Halftime Putting Contest": At the halftime of the homecoming football game, the team gathers at (stumbles to) Taconic for a putting contest. Anyone not completely inebriated (Kevin, hrmph) should not participate. Recent winners have included Matt Slovitt, despite falling over on several of his putts, and Kurt Brumme '05, who sank the winning 40-footer in 2005 with a BAC of... a lot. Talking wasted with Coach Pohle is not required, though it seems to happen every year and end poorly every time. "Enjoy the second half."