Your Mom

Your mom is hot. Ever needed a good time, a hot babe, some fresh homebaked cookies? Your mom is the one to call.

Also, your mom goes to college.

History of Your Mom

Your mom was probably born anywhere from 36 to 65 years ago, but really her age doesn't matter because she is timeless. When you were a kid she birthed (is that really a verb???) ((You bet it's a fucking verb)) you and then changed your diapers. After a while she began taking you to school, and eventually began forcing you to get good grades so you could go to college. Now you are away from the nest and it's pretty hard on her, so give her a call next time you're sitting around.

P.S. Your mom loves you more than anyone else can.

P.P.S. If your mom really does send good cookies, I love her more than anyone else can.

Your Dad does not receive nearly the same publicity as your mom.