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[[Category:Advice]]A school filled with scalliwags, villains, and other low-lifes, or as Reddit would explain, wraiths and other soulless demons. They stole half of [[Williams College]]'s library when they began their misadventure, and they've only gone downhill from there.
They've decided that a man best known for distributing smallpox infested blankets to Native American children would be an amazing person to commemorate by naming a school after him.
There are several ways in which you can help remove this pest. Firstly, contact your local pest control. They usually know how to sniff out early signs of people who harbor pro-Amherst feelings. They will eradicate it with speed and proficiency.
If that is not possible, then wear a t-shirt that insults Amherst (available at [[Goff's]]). Or buy the shot glass that implies Amherst kids are a bunch of lightweights (also available at [[Goff's]]).